it's sheer insanity.
More (metaphorical) rocks thrown at me. This time over the wall, by my new neighbours. For a long time I heard nothing more about their plans to put up scaffolding on my land to rebuild the boundary barn. I assumed they hadn't had permission from the Planning Office. I was clearly wrong. A few weeks ago I received a letter from their solicitors telling me that I'd better change my mind and allow them access for however long they needed. According to item X paragraph Y I was obliged to do so.
What else was I to do? Much against my inclination I also employed a solicitor, mainly to question the other side's solicitor's statement. My solicitor examined the situation and found that I might have a point, particularly as erecting scaffolding in the narrow corridor between the back of their barn and my house wall would prevent unhindered access from the front to the back of my property, to my bins, the flower bed running alongside, a frequent path for my wheelbarrow; I use that passage countless times during the day, and being a clumsy old woman, not as agile as I once was, I'm bound to walk into the scaffolding and knock myself black and blue.
What else could I do? I paid my solicitor a fair sized advance and she is now looking into a solution. It's not as if I utterly refuse access, of course not; the barn, which has been restyled 'The Lodge' by my bully neighbour, needs repairs. But repairs that take an indefinite time - at least three months and probably more (as I've mentioned before they are turning it not only into a storage facility but also a small holiday house, hence the new designation 'The Lodge') - that's far too much. Anyway, my solicitor says I have a case.
She has also said, that if it goes to court, it may take eighteen months and cost in the region of £15 000.
Help, that is not what I want, and I've told her so. Eighteen months of stress and a large sum which I'll never get back, it would be better if I went away for the duration.
Everything is happening now that I am old and lonely, (sob), with nobody in my corner unless I pay them. I've felt so low at times that I've toyed with the idea of leaving the place where I am still comfortable and where my happy outdoor space still gives me pleasure, and sell up and move to a nearby town. But, and this is the big question, can I let that man drive me from my home? Sooner or later I may have to move somewhere smaller and more conveniently situated, but when I want to and am ready, not because someone else is pushing me.
Like I said, it's insanity, sheer insanity. we are neighbours and should be able to come to a civilised arrangement. If only.
PS: I am having trouble commenting on a number of blogs. Sorry about that, I'll try and sort it out.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with aggressive neighbors. There ought to be a way it can work without disturbing your life daily. And being forced to use the law is never your preference.
ReplyDeleteWould it be possible for your solicitor to write the neighbor a letter, proposing that said neighbor pay the cost of your living elsewhere for the duration (to be strictly defined).
ReplyDeleteA cottage on a seashore for a few months might not be too bad and it would cost him less than a fight. You'd maintain visitation rights, of course.
To surgeons, every problem is surgical to lawyers. Every problem is legal, perhaps there is some method by which you could have a mediator and all save a lot of time, trouble and money if they would simply put you up somewhere else for the duration at their expense. I do hope you don't have a prolonged battle on your hands or a defeat. Surely those are not the only options. I hope this doesn't sound breezy and dismissive because I care very much and am very interested. Thank you for checking in with us
ReplyDeleteWhat an ass! Property laws must be different over there. Over here they would not be able to force you to allow them to use your property to make their repairs. Surly there is more than one way to skin a cat, or erect scaffolding on their property so that the repairs can be made. Sounds to me like they're just lazy or unwilling to do something that would cost more for them preferring to see if they can bully them into letting them trash your property and inconvenience you. And I don't think going away somewhere for the duration is a good idea, even at their expense. No guarantee on how long it will take and without you there making sure they don't destroy your property you'll come back to a totally trashed side path and garden. If it goes to court and you win wouldn't they be responsible for the court fees and your lawyer fee?
ReplyDeletebully you, I mean.
DeleteHow unsettling! I can offer no advice, just sympathy. I also have no solutions to the inability to comment on blogs - I'm hearing more and more of that.
ReplyDeleteWuw, I hope there is some resolution or solution available other than a costly legal one. How horrible for you.
ReplyDeleteOhhh, I love this project, it looks promising. More, give us more!!
ReplyDeleteFOOTBALL BETTING_ភ្នាល់បាល់ អនឡាញ
Casino Online_កាស៊ីណូអនឡាញ
I am offering sympathy, this sounds stressful. Living alone it seems hard to me to deal with things on my own; I hope you find a peaceful way forward. I am finding some blogs I can not leave comments on, it seems random. A blogger glitch?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read this and hope a solution can be found. A solution which doesn't cost you and arm and a let. I was having a heap of trouble commenting on blogs with embedded comments (like yours). I have changed browsers and for the moment all is well.
ReplyDeleteOh Friko - I feel so much for you ... it does sound very unfair - but some people are like that bullies - just for their own satisfaction. I sincerely hope this challenge will resolve itself for you. I certainly feel for you - be careful, and with lots of thought and hugs - Hilary
ReplyDeleteNeighbourly conflicts are the worst, and of course I very much hope you will find a way to agree without either of you spending huge amounts of money and nerves.
ReplyDeleteAs for the commenting problem, I use a different browser for blogging than for the rest of my online activities because I had trouble commenting even on my own blog, using Firefox. I am not a fan of Edge but at least it works well with Blogger.
When and how did we get to be so litigious in our dealings with others, a course of action that seems unavoidable in so many instances. Rich people are able to intimidate people of lesser means, and can cavalierly say, "Sue me" knowing that the cost of doing so, and the expectation of meagre reward, often makes a mockery of any expectation of a just outcome. A pox on your neighbours.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to learn that you are having a difficult time with your neighbour. Why don't they talk to you so that you can all have a cilvilised conversation re: the problems that the scaffolding would actually create for you? Then it might just be possible to come up with a solution that would suit you all.
ReplyDeleteWe have enough problems to cope with in the current world without adding even more stress.
Beware of the lawyer!Be involved in every step she takes, so that you don't have surprises! Lawyers of the two sides tend to compromise on the back of the one who seems more vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds very bad and beyond that, stressful. Are there any village ordinances that could prevent this? I worry about the expense. Does your town have mediators that could bring you both together to discuss? Or could a letter from the attorney saying "We believe she has a strong case and other options should be explored to facilitate an arrangement that will work for both parties." There must be something. I wonder if another attorney might be helpful or if there is some legal aid resource that could help with the bills if you went that route. It sounds terribly expensive for you on top of the stress which can not be beneficial to your health. I wish I had answers.
ReplyDeleteAs I age, I keep hoping for some type of compromise with all disagreements of a major nature. That does indeed sound stressful, but you have some time to think about it. My husband is rarely confrontational, so I have always been the only one in my corner.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are being put through all this. Not sure over here they would be allowed to use your property for access to their improvements. I do like the idea of a mediator and the price of that attorney would send me the other direction. Hoping all this can be solved peacefully and inexpensively.
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought crazy things like this only happened in America. My sympathies for your predicament. I like Rosemary's idea. It's worth a try anyway.
DeleteI'm so sorry for all this disruption and disagreeableness. Over here, your neighbor wouldn't have a chance. There are very clear laws about property lines, and what can and can't be done. Of course, it's also true that when it comes to property line trees, fences, and construction or needed repairs, most people I know are able to come to agreement and get on with it. Is this a long-time neighbor you're dealing with, or someone newish? He sounds perfectly ghastly.
ReplyDelete'The Lodge', eh? What a stressful situation. I recall your having mentioned this scaffolding issue some time ago in a previous post. Maybe going away for the duration could be a good solution. It's really hard to know. x
ReplyDeleteHow frustrating to feel so trapped.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Please try not to stoop to their level even when you want to.
Oh, my blogger friend Friko. ❤️ cat.
ReplyDeleteOh so sorry Friko, I lived through a similar situation and my heart breaks for you. It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth as the destruction done next door to me was unconscionable and demoralizing and wrecked my residential peace and serenity, destroyed my B&B small business and whacked a financial downfall on the value of my beautiful home. I did write about it at the time. The tears and powerlessness I felt were one of the reasons I left. Good luck with it all and it all seems so bloody unfair.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
Infuriating that you find yourself coping with these bullies. I hope a reasonable solution is found. The idea of your just leaving for awhile sounds good, but I'm with fellow Texan Ellen on this. I think you need to be present to monitor the situation. Please keep us informed as to what goes on. Hugs for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat horror and madness, Friko. It is a pity that in old age you have to deal with aggressive neighbors. Of course, they are sure that you will give up and give in to them. It's good that you hired a lawyer. I hope she will help you in this controversial case.
ReplyDelete❤️ My mumme just moved from her house into "Pflege Pension" ... She is 91 ... She says, she is very happy there ... just saying, my friend Friko ... ❤️
ReplyDeleteI hope you're getting some resolution on this issue. I had a problem with my neighbor's leaning wall causing mine to fall. Though we talked, could actually see it together from my yard, he refused to acknowledge any responsibility. I went ahead and had that section of my wall rebuilt to the tune of 10K, an unexpected expense; was able to have his wall section disconnected from mine with our city's approval so can't happen again. He told city he would "help" with my costs but never did and has since sold the house. My only recourse was to take him to Small Claims Court but I developed some medical issues at the time and couldn't have gone to court myself which would have been required, plus I determined could get expensive with Process Server trying to find him in L.A. since he didn't live in the house. I just gave up on the matter and ate this unwelcomed expense.
ReplyDeleteSeems like just one of a number of unusual expenses that came up after I became a widow -- very upsetting to say the least. Hope you're able to resolve and roll with these kind of things if you want to stay in your house which I've come to accept seem to happen. At least all other matters haven't involved neighbors. You seem to be looking at a much more expensive challenge than I faced with my wall 'cause I wasn't going to be hiring an attorney to have to pay, too.
Dear Friko,
ReplyDeleteA merry Christmas to you!
May you feel light, love, peace, health and joy in this holiday. I wish your Christmas be relaxing so that you can recharge for the new year. Happy Holidays!
People are so selfish and unkind today and I , too, thought it was just in America. I’d say do what’s least stressful for you.
ReplyDeleteNeighbor or community problems are the worst. I am so sorry, I wish I had a Solution to offer. Legally is there a relatively inexpensive way for them to sign a document with a Deadline to encroachment on your Property? Here in America things are different legally when it comes to Real Property... one wouldn't have to grant access at all to put up whatever they were building, rebuilding or remodeling. That said, in Affluent Subdivision Hell the Neighbors were pretentious and the HOA oppressive, I HATED it and moved as soon as we could cash in on our Investment. Of coarse I wasn't as invested in a much Beloved Home as you are, I was happy to close that Chapter and open a better and new one, a better Home, better Community, better Neighbors. But, over time many places can and do change, not always for the better, so no guarantees for perpetual Bliss. I had to Sell a Beloved paid off Historic Home, I still miss it, but over the Years the area had declined and where we are now is a better fit at this Season of our Lives. Sometimes things not working out is actually in our Favor and we don't realize it at the time that something better may be awaiting us. I Hope it all gets resolved satisfactorily for you, Virtual Hugs.
ReplyDelete