I've been well enough to restart/continue this blog for at least two months. The last chemo was in November 24, it took me six weeks or so to get over side effects, soreness from operations, and generally picking myself up off the floor. I had the temporary all clear in January 25 and will have the next instalment check up in a week's time. If all is well I will be left in peace for the following six months.
At the moment I am feeling well physically, if it weren't for the dratted leg and missing muscle in my right hip. A crutch will have to be my permanent companion from now on; nothing can be done to reattach the muscle, there is an operation but my consultant surgeon says it has never yet been successful.
As for the minor cancer on the back of my head, well that's of no great importance. Acc. to the dermatologist surgeon the bladder cancer chemo may even have shrunk it; in any case, it is extremely slow-growing and can easily wait to be dealt with until after there is clarity on the more important cancer. In order to avoid long waiting lists for free consultations I have been paying for them but, of course, this being the UK, all further treatments are free on the NHS. If this were the US I'd be bankrupt.
So, that's that.
Now to my blog. I do not fool myself into thinking that my former readers are all waiting breathlessly for me to tap those keys again. A few of you have been kind enough to ask for updates. Thank you. Well, here's the update.
What is truly bothering me is the state of the world, in particular the dire situation in the US, its effect on geopolitics and the upending of the world order. It looks like democracy is on the retreat. Anger, anxiety and hatred are on the increase; the mildest, most peaceful, calm people openly profess hatred and send useless imaginary death wishes. Attitudes towards war and bloodshed divide nations and people suffer, children are maimed and killed in their hundreds and thousands. It breaks my heart and the heart of every compassionate, thinking person. In fact, on two occasions impotent rage at news reports have sent me into Atrial Fibrillations. Literally a breaking heart.
Is a blog wittering on about mundane daily doings really the answer for me? Even if there is a handful of people who might like to read me - are there still any at all ? - is writing and reading general blogs relevant at this time? Is looking at something like Monty Python's Bright Side of Life the antidote to the general despair?
I mentioned my unhappiness with the state of the world and politics in particular to a Social Prescriber (a whole new type of professional counsellor for practical matters like what to do about mobility, how to access help for all sorts of things ); she thought writing it all out would be beneficial to me as well as recharge my lost creativity. And she also thought that the ME I lost roughly the same time as I had the first diagnosis would stand a better chance of reappearing once I allowed myself to both stand back from and look deeper into my state of mind.
Will blogging help? We'll see.
PS
If nobody reads this it doesn't matter. It took quite some effort to sit down at my computer. As well as courage. I don't want to become a political blog but I also can't stick my head in the sand. I don't mean to give offence but if you feel offended, tough titty.
I was looking at the Formatting pages and how to exclude some readers (mainly very close to home non-followers) but it looks like I'd have to restrict readership completely and go from Public to entirely Private. Any ideas?