Saturday 8 June 2024

Shell Shocked

 that's me.

My doctor persuaded me to go see a urologist for a bit of a problem that I'd had for a while; nothing major, I thought. Just a bit of bleeding due to exercise and lugging heavy tubs. In fact, I was utterly convinced that it would be a wasted consultation. After all, I am actually feeling perfectly fine at the moment.

Nothing to do with the reason for my long absence from the blogosphere; I might as well tell you that that was due to me smashing my knee to bits last October, subsequently being unable to bend it and unable to move without great pain. Heavens above, knees are complicated mechanisms! Anyway, the knee is healing nicely and, although I still use a crutch out of doors, I can hobble about again and even sit at my computer for mid-length periods. 

Presenting myself at the hospital on Thursday I was feeling nervous. And scared of the procedure ahead of me. X rays and MRI scan done, I was taken to the examination room for a cystoscopy. The doctor was very efficient and before I could scrunch myself up into a ball of fear and trepidation the camera was in! For those of you facing this procedure in future: there is very little pain involved.

In any case, I soon forgot about pain and discomfort; the doctor was speaking. "Can you see the tumour?" I swear he sounded all exited about it. He swished the camera around and was all exited again about some red lines appearing on the screen. "Hm, yes," he said "that's unusual".

Once back on the chair he gave me an instant diagnosis: "you need to come in for a CT scan, a biopsy and an operation, all within the month. We'll get a better idea of what's wrong after the scan, but you appear to have a tumour on the inside of your bladder, probably due to previous radiotherapy treatment." I had treatment for endometrial cancer more than a decade ago. (Smokers beware: smoking is the other cause for bladder cancer!)

"If you agree, sign here and I will put you on the fast-track cancer list right now." Naturally, I signed. What else was I supposed to do?

Yesterday, Friday, was a very strange day for me. I got up very late, didn't get dressed until after one, had lunch mid-afternoon, ate lots of chocolates and jellies, read, scrolled the web, had a long daytime nap and watched TV. 

Today is a little less disjointed, I am still feeling shell shocked but my chocolate consumption has gone down. And I got dressed before coming downstairs! I took a stroll round the garden and closed my mind to the weeds. Weeds are what happens when nothing else does.

You might not believe this: I am also waiting for an operation on some skin cancer on the back of my head! BCC is a mild form of skin cancer, easily taken care of when you go early enough; I am dithering when to have it done, privately, because the NHS waiting time is about twelve months.

For the moment everything is on hold, Physiotherapy for my knee will stop after Monday, BCC operation will get pushed back and everything else will be arranged around whatever hospital appointments I am given. There are decisions to be made about practical matters and just-in-case plans must be finalised.

If you feel like wishing me luck, please do.




25 comments:

  1. Bleeding is never a minor issue. Good Luck, Friko dear, with all your upcoming procedures!

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  2. I certainly do feel like wishing you luck, Friko.
    To me, any type of surgery is a little scary, but as long as I am totally knocked out and don't know or feel a thing, I'll go ahead with it. Your doctor seems the efficient type, and it is good that things appear to be moving swiftly for you, "within the month", as the doctor said.
    You are right - knees are so complicated! As are shoulders and elbows, of course.

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  3. Wishing you the best outcome, Friko! x

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  4. Of course, I wish you all the luck in the world and a good outcome. Thank goodness for an efficient doctor.

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  5. I can relate. I went to the ER mid-May thinking I might be having a heart related event which turned out not to be the case, apparently related to the afib i've been being treated for for the last 6 years, and after all the tests they told me that my heart and lungs were fine, no event, but they found an aneurysm in my brain. have an appointment to see the neurosurgeon in 9 days. in the meantime my electrophysiologist wanted to take me off the blood thinner because of the aneurysm so I've just had an afib ablation. still have at least two more procedures ahead of me and maybe three. when that snowball starts rolling downhill it just doesn't stop. and now with all that and the summer heat upon us, my garden is being totally neglected. I wish you well Friko.

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  6. "Weeds are what happens when nothing else does."

    A profound statement.

    All the best in your upcoming surgeries, Friko. I'll be praying for you.

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  7. Bless you friend! Of course we wish you well and appreciate your looking in from time to time. Aloha from Honolulu

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  8. I am sending you "tons" of luck & am absolutely certain you will be fine. Purely by accident this morning, I found that you are back online after a seemingly long period and am so glad to be reading your offerings once again. So hugs and much positivity sent your way Friko. From the base of the mini-mountain in Maine where today it is slightly breezy, the sun shines, and the birds and other "critters" are my companions.

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  9. Putting you on my prayer list, Friko. It keeps getting longer, but... the good news is that as my family and friends improve, they move off it... and so far, almost everyone is doing well. So, although scary, know "it is what it is... and you can handle it" (at least that philosophy got me through my BC). Take care, my friend.

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  10. Well no wonder you are shell shocked. You've had one hell of a few months. That had to be extremely freaky news, especially as you are hearing it as it is being seen. But it is excellent that you are being fast tracked and it sounds like they have things well in hand. Let them knock you out the whole way for the procedure so no scary moments as they work. This really is upsetting news but I am glad you shared it so we can get some good energy headed your way. (But on top of a shattered knee which sounds beyond painful and the skin melanoma, just too much.) You hang in there, my friend. And know that all the positive energy the cyber blog world can muster is headed your way. Big hugs. (And eat chocolate. Trust me -- it's not going to hurt you and under the circumstances it's more than allowed. And eat good chocolate!)

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  11. Oh Friko. No wonder you are shell shocked. And of course I wish you luck, and lots of it, as we all do.

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  12. Yes good luck! That is so much to face all at once.

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  13. Indeed, good luck. Getting older is such fun.

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  14. Anyone would be shell shocked in the same situation. Glad they are fast tracking you so you don't have as much time to build up different scenarios in your head.

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  15. Wishing you all the best. Hope everything goes well for you.

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  16. All the very best for a speedy resolution and an early return to dealing with the weeds!

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  17. Fingers and toes crossed. And hope it all goes well for you.

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  18. Good lord Friko you have been busy but not in a good way at all. I hope this all gets resolved and soon and I know how challenging it all must be when living alone. You poor old dear. May it all be behind you and soon. Light and love from your old creaky tottering blogmate. Try and give us quick updates.
    XO
    WWW

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  19. "Getting is older is not very nice" is what a dear friend said to me last week.
    I do wish you good luck and also a very speedy recovery.
    BCC is normally easily dealt with and thankfully it is a non-melanoma skin cancer.
    It sounds as if you have a really good doctor, and that is a blessing too.

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  20. Sending much luck and healing thoughts your way. Mary

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  21. Prayers for you.

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  22. Linda O'Connell sends prayers.

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  23. Getting older takes courage, someone told me. Your shock is understandable. I'm glad your doctor urged you to get tested. I wish you good luck in your treatment and recovery. I've added you to those I pray for often - for comfort and peace in the midst of a trying time.

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  24. Hello Friko. Don't know, whether you remember or not. Cat here, you know the one, that wrote all these crazy, incomprehensible thoughts down in form of poems ... Anyway, Friko, Reading about your health troubles and going ons in your life don't exactly sound like happy happy joy joy ... But be assured, that you are in good company, because it is what it is especially in our age. Sending love from AB, Canada. cat.

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  25. No matter how unpleasant the procedures are, you will have to do them, Frico, in order for the treatment and surgery to produce results. Unfortunately, cancer has become common everywhere and at all ages. Of course, you need to plan everything and get things done. I wish you with all my heart that the operation is successful and that you recover.

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