Monday 2 October 2023

Autumnal Thoughts

 


 Summer's ended, Autumn is here. The cherry tree leaves are turning.

A day of rain and wind today, I've not been tempted to go out at all. The seasons turn so quickly, we had several days of high temperatures earlier in September, now it's jumper weather again. 

Cyclamen are out in force and shrubs are glowing their final hurrah of the year before they settle down for winter. The hedgehog visits the terrace at dusk, almost on the dot of seven now and I must remember to put out food betimes. It'll have to be earlier and earlier I suspect, until they go into hiding for winter. There are often two of them and there may even have been three last night. By morning the dish is licked clean.

There seems to be a trend at the moment for decluttering. I've wanted to do it for a long time but never quite got round to it. I have now, but I'm starting gently, with a drawer full of digital cables and such, all the stuff that comes with new gadgets which you never use. Also theatre programs of the last 30 odd years, London Westend ones, and from all sorts of theatres in the South East, South West of the country, the Edinburgh Festival and the Midlands. My, we must have seen hundreds of plays. I am keeping the Stratford programs for now. I don't know quite what to do with concert and opera programs. They will probably end up in recycling. These things cost a lot of money, yet you buy them, read them and put them into a box somewhere.

A young woman took them. I had asked the local book charity shop if they wanted any. No they didn't but they might know someone who does. All my unwanted programs are going to be exhibits in a tea room in the Shropshire Hills, for customers to look at while they recover from long hikes over a scone and a cuppa. She was a very pleasant young woman, within the first ten minutes she had confided half her life story to me, her past and plans for the future. She and her partner also rescue dogs in the next county, which pleased me no end and made handing over two large boxes full of programs a pleasure. Jennifer, the young woman, is interested in stars of yesterday and has posters of what we used to call 'divas' on her walls, European film stars of the 60s and 70s; I have some posters of opera performances of the period which I might pass on to her. She promised me a freebie in March when she opens up again and it'll be interesting to see what she's done. A quaint idea, don't you think?

My son was here for a few days, one of his regular tri-monthly visits. When he comes, he does some jobs I've saved up for him and he always takes a load of stuff to the local recycling centre, often needing two or three trips to get rid of it. There is also a day in the middle when he offers to take me anywhere I can't get to now, either because I no longer drive or it's just too far. You'd think I'd ask for a trip to somewhere special, somewhere of great interest, somewhere totally out of my reach now. Sad to say, I can only come up with a particular garden centre in spring and summer and a very posh supermarket the rest of the year.  What a sad state of affairs when my heart yearns exclusively for plants and fancy groceries. I couldn't even take him to the restaurant I'd promised him, the place was fully booked and we had to make do with the nice but ordinary White Horse, the local pub.

We spent a few pleasant days together; we don't have a great many interests in common, but we are family and family matters. We have the past, of course, life in Germany, where he spent his formative years, so we always have the German side of the family for reminiscing over. At one point we mentioned his sister with whom he also has little contact and when I asked if a reconciliation between her and me would ever be possible he said  "No Mum, that ship has sailed."

That must be one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

Apart from decluttering I am also trying to sort out financial and legal matters, which meant going through two desks. Would you believe that I have bank statements from over twenty years ago? Not any longer. Neither do I any longer have ancient receipts and invoices and credit card slips. What on Earth was I thinking? Sure, keep them for a year but don't file them away tidily in envelopes marked with the year where such transactions took place. Last century, anyone?

While I've been typing night has fallen and I quickly rushed out with my dish of cat food for the hedgehogs. Now of course I will have to loiter by the back door to await their arrival.

I've been feeling a bit gloomy again hence the delay in posting; Perhaps all this decluttering means that I am tidying away one kind if life and starting another? Who knows.



25 comments:

  1. Hello Friko. I really enjoyed the catch up on your blog post. I moved deeper into the heart of Wales 15 months ago to be nearer my daughter. Having lived in my previous home for 44 years, I can identify with everything that you've written - except that my own blog posts have sort of thinned out. We've come along way from Purple Coo xx

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    1. how nice to hear from you Molly, after all this time. I hope you are well. Purple Coo is long gone I take it?

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  2. It is indeed a VERY sad phrase. I am sorry.
    We are in Spring here. A very hot spring. Records have been broken and I shudder thinking of summer.
    Snap on the bank statement front. I have disposed of a lot of mine and have much more to do.
    I do envy your hedgehogs though - and would assuredly be waiting by the door for them.

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  3. It always feels very important when you post and I value our time together. Thank you Aloha!

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  4. Friko, decluttering in a place where you have lived for decades is a chore. And yes, we too had bank statements and bills for over 20 years ago tucked away in boxes - in case we ever needed to refer to them. Did we? No. Most are gone now. Glad you have time to spend with your son... and I'm not sure if 'that ship has sailed'... with your daughter, you never know. And lastly, any possibility of getting pics of the hedgehogs?

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  5. I've never seen so many cyclamen in one spot! They must really like it. I am always surprised when my cyclamen emerge again, year by year, but I have only a half dozen or so, which started as little potted gifts a long time ago, and they don't spread.... maybe because they are under a big tree and there is too much competition among the roots. I'm glad you shared your beautiful display.

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  6. Still cant post on blog, but am so glad to read yours.

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  7. Still cant post on blog, but am so glad to read yours.

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  8. It's always nice to see you have created a new post, bringing me into the present state of your world, friend. Thank you.

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  9. Your garden is looking glorious. I like the swathes of cyclamen and I envy you your hedgehogs.
    As you say, decluttering is quite fashionable now, though I do think some take it too far and become extremely minimalist. However, it is something I ought at least to attempt.
    My neighbours of 47 years are moving far away today - it will be strange not to see them around - quite a sad thought. Gloom descends too quickly and I try to avoid it.

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  10. Friko, every day I check to see if you have written...today perserverance wins since here you are. I am minimalizing too but more drastically, even getting rid of some furniture that we just don't use any longer since we don't have much company (formal dining table & sofa). I simply want more room for my plants and a few little corners w/ comfy wing chairs to relax and read. Tired of retaining things that I don't use. Interesting about your daughter...I have a similar situation. I no longer ponder about it and if, and when it changes, I will then be grateful. Hugs from the base of the mini-mountain in Maine where the sun shines and the pets are snoozing. Take care. Regina

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  11. it's definitely time to get rid of 30 years of collected and kept paper! glad to hear you had a pleasant visit with your son. I know it hurts your heart that your daughter wants no contact with you put perhaps that it the less painful of the two options. I guess I'd rather have no contact than adversarial contact. and your garden in so pretty with the cyclemans. they are a fall plant in a pot here. summers are just too intense.

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  12. I love what you gave to Jennifer. There is always someone who will value old memorabilia if you look long enough. When I downsized it took me two years and I called the process my Antique Adoption Service. It made me feel good to find homes for stuff, and when you see what that young woman does with your memorabilia it will warm your heart.

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  13. We saw a Lawyer and he helped us sort everything out. We have a huge binder with our will, insurance papers, deeds and all sorts of important papers Power of Attorney and Living Wills. I was happy to get it all organized. I understand the ship has sailed part...hard to accept but sometimes better for both parties. There comes a time when it is what it is and you could stand on your head all day long and it wouldn't make a difference.

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  14. Hats off to you for doing so well on the decluttering. I understand the sadness that can come from such an activity; it means, after all, sorting through and getting rid of things from one's past, and can yield feelings of relief and satisfaction as much as nostalgia and regret.
    Over here, summer just does not seem to want to let go. We've had 27C on Monday, and yesterday was still really warm. Only after a shower late afternoon did it cool down somewhat, but is supposed to be warmer again by the end of the week. Still, daylight is fast becoming precious, and the leaves are definitely starting to turn.

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  15. I have lost some school friends recently and others have moved from here. If it wasn't for the consistency of family, I would feel pretty lonely.

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  16. First off, that cyclamen -- wow. Just wow! They're beautiful beyond words. And I love that you gave the programs to Jennifer for her cafe. I hope if I ever get to your area you'll tell me where it is and I'll visit! I'd love looking at those. I have quite a large collection that I recently re-encountered and started googling them. There's quite a resale value if you do something like ebay or etsy and I'm trying to decide if I have the brains and motivation to do that. A few are autographed. But they're fun to look at again. I admire your decluttering and say on a regular basis I have to do that but never seem to get started. Those statements -- I have huge piles I need to take somewhere for shredding. I don't part with things well. I miss the longer days -- last night it was dark by about 7:30. I close down after dark. And I love it that you have hedgehogs. Very Beatrix Potter in my mind! And i do love my Beatrix Potter. The son's visit sounds productive and very good. I'm glad he comes regularly. Well, this is a rambling comment but it has been awhile since I've commented! Happy week!

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  17. Your garden is glorious! I'm glad you had a good and productive visit with your son, and have the motivation to declutter and organize.

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  18. How pretty that cyclamen is. It's blooming here, too. Jennifer's idea for using your old programs is unique and I hope her tea shop is successful. Clearing out old papers lightens the home and the mind, I think.
    So lovely to see a post from you.

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  19. I've always kept a little 'Fridge Soup' link on my Napple Notes sidebar, which I'm happy to say still works, So I was twice as chuffed to find my way from there to here today, after another search for a list of obscure words collected/posted by 'SmitoniusAndSonata', back in the day.

    There must be something in the air, spreading 'de-clutter vibes' like seeds from an overblown dandelion! I'm trying to do the same, and marvel at the sense of achievement when anything is finally, if reluctantly, consigned to either re-cycling or rubbish heap. Keep up the good work, Blogpals one and all. ♥

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  20. Friko, your post got me thinking. What is putting things in order and getting rid of unnecessary things? Probably, after all, it’s not the beginning of some other life, but the liberation of this life from unnecessary things?
    It’s very nice to read that your son does not forget to visit you and you have common topics of conversation. You can go with your son to any place, even to a supermarket where you don’t go often. Wonderful photos of your colorful garden.
    Please write, it’s always interesting to read!

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  21. Yes reading about declutter does seem very familiar especially receipts from last forty decades in my case. Hedgehogs hmmm.
    Stay well.

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  22. P.S. The other day, you asked me about a blogger named Mary, and I wonder whether this blog I've just spotted ( https://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com ) belongs to she whom you seek? Good luck with your searching.... ♥

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  23. I absolutely loathe hanging on to ancient bank statements, but for some reason I have an irrational fear that if I throw them away someone will come along and demand to read them - perhaps a tax inspector or lawyer. Idiotic, but maybe it masks a deep seated fear of authority? Worse still I keep some of my parents' bank statements. I mean, really! I actually parcelled them up and put them in the loft, for goodness sake. With other things, I often find charity shops are a big help. Jumble sales don't seem to be as popular as they were, but it's really worth asking a local village church if they have one - not only is it a very good cause, since these churches are often wonderful repositories of history going back centuries, but your trash might be someone else's treasure! I am still using a steel coffee percolator that I bought at a jumble sale 20 years ago. It doesn't break like the glass ones, and comes up like new in the dishwasher. Well worth the 25p I spent on it!

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  24. It’s been a long time since I made my way over here, I know. So, very belatedly, I am writing to say how much I appreciated this post, on many levels, not least because it is a cold, rainy winter day here, and seeing photos of your autumn garden is such a pleasure. I also see that you have had some health problems, and I very much hope by now you are doing better. Getting older is no picnic, to say the least. As I said to a friend, in our joint dislike of jolly posts about older folks defying their age: getting older is all about adjusting to limitations. The rest is commentary. Our very best wishes to you for the new year.

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Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.