The Scraper's Diary, Friday, March 28th, 1947

On the Bank of the River Aller

A pleasant, peaceful spot, the river swift-flowing-by, a slight icing of bubbles skating downstream, a protective huddle of old, multi-coloured houses across the river, to my left, screened behind a road of countryside trees, that somehow are a parade, and make the scene German. The sun has temporarily resigned to the rain; bulbous clouds, which, flowing effortlessly beyond me, show no sign of their inherent boredom. The grass ahead is rarely green and trodden to the grey earth's humility; away, by the turn of the river, two bare trees stand guard over a deserted cottage, and beyond, the fringes of a forest hide the horizon behind their skirts.


When I sat here, a small boy, muddy clogs in hand, came and sat nearby, and watched me with a grave intent. Three of his playmates have now joined him and they are chattering their supremely important matters in their incomprehensible tongue and lying on their bellies, watching a backwater's sloth.


Two disdainful chickens are beachcombing closer and closer to me; the children are paddling in the shallows.


I must get up and turn to the Barley bridge with its damaged stonework and I must go up to the old philosophical track to the road, and travel. I must move on again.

o-o-o-o-o

We saw some rather nice handbags in a shop window, and so we went inside, saw two more on a shelf and started negotiations. I started conventionally;

"Do you speak English?"

"No".

"OK".

Stumped, we thought a minute, while the assistant leaned on the counter, rather embarrassed. I pointed to the handbags and looked 'query'. She handed me one. We inspected it and approved.

"How much ?" I said.

"?", she said.

"How much ?" I said, "Combien ?" "Marks?"


"Ah," she said, "Zwanzig Mark".


"Twenty ?", I said.


"Ja".


We went into a huddle then.


"Nein Deutschgeld", I said. "You take cigarettes?"


"Zwanzig Mark", she said. " Und zwei kilos paper".


"Nix paper", I said, "cigarettes?"


We went on at this for ten minutes, neither of us understanding much of the other's talk and giggling wholesale. We gathered that one gave twenty marks and two kilos paper for a bag. She gathered that we had enough marks, no paper, and a few cigarettes. She also gathered that we were a bit daft.

Eventually we bribed her with soap and bought a bag each for twenty marks and twenty cigarettes each.


We retired to a pub and bought some foul German beer that tasted like acorns and coca-cola. Armed with a glass of this, I went into an alcove and asked a German if he felt any inclination to purchase some cigarettes. He didn't seem too keen, in broken English, but condescended to give me a low price for seventy.


Next, we went to another shop and bought some nice brass ashtrays. I asked the lady if she had any rings. She said something most Aryan, and "and an actress said 'after Easter' ".


I realized that she'd understood all my linguistic attempts at their true banality, and beat a hasty retreat.






footnote: the Scraper never did work out what he had been told in either of the two shops
but did his heroic best to repeat the words as he heard them in his diary.