Glück im Unglück (A Blessing in Disguise)

Oops, there she goes, falling like a sack of potatoes, spilling herself all over the stairs.

After a day spent largely in the garden, evening came with its normal quota of tiredness. Happy and contented tiredness. Eleven at night and time for bed. Had I shut the shed and garage? Better check. Yes, all safe and sound, no need to worry. Locking the inner door to the shed was the last thing to do before climbing the stairs. I hadn’t bothered to take off my thick-soled, non-slip trainers; that was my downfall. Literally. Turning on my toes my right foot refused to move, my left foot was in too much of a hurry, stumbled over the right and there you have it, I shot forward, unable to brake and came to rest on the stairs, my chin hitting the step with an enormous crack. Instantly blood came gushing out, with me in serious pain.

Eleven o’clock at night, on your own, is not a good time for an accident of that nature. In the mirror I saw that my own teeth had cut my lower lip from inside to out. I googled “how to stop bleeding of the face and mouth”. Ice packs should do it in twenty minutes, Google said. Three ice packs later I was still bleeding. It was two am by now. I decided to ring 111 for advice, the service for non-emergency help. Initially I spoke to someone non medical, after a whole raft of questions they referred me to a nurse, who actually rang back a little later. Another raft of questions which I answered honestly, without making too much of a meal of it. All I wanted was advice on how to stop the bleeding. Halfway through the call the nurse said  ”the ambulance is on its way, you shouldn’t have to wait too long.” What? Hospital During The Time of Covid 19? Not bloody likely! I’d rather bleed to death in the comfort of my own home!

Anyway, the ambulance did indeed turn up fairly soon. The paramedics weren’t even inside the house yet when I informed them that they had had a wasted journey, the bleeding was lessening and under no circumstances was I going to hospital with them. “There there,” they said, "first let’s have a look at you.” They did what they called ‘obs’, (my blood pressure was off my personal scale) wrote it all down, both of them sitting on the floor, operating their various machinery, attempting to calm me down. We actually had quite a pleasant chat.

By about three am the bleeding had most certainly lessened. Finally, the paramedics agreed that there was no immediate need for me to go into any hospital; instead they advised me to visit the local minor injuries unit the next day. I didn’t even do that. I’d rather spend the rest of my life with a deep scar on my lip than contract the virus and have no life left.

Before they left they admitted that I was doing the right thing. “To be honest”, the female paramedic said, “before now, we have taken people to hospital for different reasons, without a fever, and the same people have come out with a high temperature.”

Today, two evenings on, I have recovered somewhat from both the accident and the shock. Yesterday I spent the whole day dozing, taking painkillers, not even getting dressed. Today, I am feeling much better, I did a bit of gardening with Paul, and tried to eat on one side of my mouth. But the fat blue lip has already gone down, there is a bloody scab closing the wound, and I am hoping that there will be no inflammation. I might ring my surgery doctor for some advice on how best to avoid that.

Wish me luck.