I made a disappointing discovery: one of my friends, someone I was not only fond of but admired greatly, has turned out to have feet of Covid19 clay. Supposedly, we are all in this together, but some of us are further out on the periphery than others, able to dip in and out at leisure. Looking around me I have judged that this one or that one would maybe not stay the course, crack under the strain of isolation, break the rules and get out from under without considering the consequences. In some cases I was right. But this particular friend I judged to have excellent self control, determination and staying power, yet this is the one to break the rules in the most spectacular fashion.
We are all only human, we all make mistakes, we are all getting fed up and nobody wants the situation to go on for longer than it needs to. But to flout the rules deliberately and claim special status for reasons of personal convenience is just despicable and highly irresponsible.
Maybe that friendship has run its course.
We have to pretend, said Old, we have to pretend about so much these days. We have to pretend to like things we don’t like. We have to try so very hard to be non-judgemental.
The Dept. of Sensitive Crimes by Alexander McCall Smith
Instead of sitting in judgement and feeling disappointed I should just continue to do what I’m doing, get into the garden more or less every day for at least two hours. The longer and harder I work the less attractive the beds are. More and more naked earth appears. I used to accuse Beloved of pursuing a ‘bare earth policy’, he was keen to strip the beds back to basics and proclaim lots of my favoured plants to be weeds that needed clearing when we first came here. Now it’s me who does that. I have ordered a few pots of herbaceous perennials and some colourful annuals to close the biggest gaps once I get to replanting. Luckily, the garden has a respectable 'bone structure' in the form of shrubs and trees. Spring flowering clematis like the one in the picture help too. Paul is coming tomorrow, I hope that together we will knock a few more weedy problems on the head.
Last night the outer scab came off my lip, quite naturally. The inner scab came off a few days earlier, the inner scar healed very quickly, I am glad to say. No infection anywhere. There is a small visible scar and a small patch of scab left, but nothing to spoil my beauty. I’m relieved.
Such rotten luck, that fall! Glad you suffered only minor damage and no broken bones. Tough times reveal peoples' true colours.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the fall now seems to be history. It was hard even to read about, let alone experience.
ReplyDeleteFor some people the pandemic isolation and fear might be the first real test of endurance they've had. It can be a surprise to see how different people handle it. So I think it means you now know that friend better than you did.
it is sad to learn that there is a certain percentage of the population that is selfish to the core to the point of not caring if they infect you or even get infected themselves just so they can get that haircut. over here at least, you'd think 50,000 dead in 8 weeks would be a deterrent. not everyone has a garden to occupy them or a hobby to indulge in but even so. Anne Frank lived like this for years, worse even as they could not leave the attic or even make noise. entitled humans are weenies.
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ReplyDelete-good to read that your mouth is healing well. I can imagine that sitting in the garden is a lovely tonic for the mind and body.
DeleteWhen reading about your friend's behavior, I thought of how this current crisis shows in stark relief those who are, if I may say, naturally inclined to think of others in addition to themselves and those who put their needs ahead of others.
Ganz liebes Grüssli aus San Francisco! Bea
I wondered how you were doing after your fall.
ReplyDeleteFriends and family can disappoint us but hopefully, we can still love them. The world needs all the love we can give.
Glad that you are healing well. My face plant in the road some years ago has left its mark.
ReplyDeleteSigh at the friend - and a big hooray for the garden. Mine has provided rather a lot of solace (and work) in these trying times.
I'm glad you are healed with no infection. That's good news indeed. I understand what you mean about your friend. I have no patience for that. They may do as they like but stay far away from me.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the garden. The first time my garden guy came he pulled out too much stuff. He's better now. He does love his mulch! I wonder if he'll come this year. I wonder if I'll want him to... This might be the year the garden takes a nose dive...
Glad you are carrying on!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that your have healed so nicely. So sorry that it was one of your friends that disappointed you. We are not too shocked when strangers act badly but it is hard when it is a friend. Sometimes it can even be a family member that shows no caring.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to read that your mouth healed well. Those who flaunt the rules just now demonstrate their lack of caring for others. Time in the garden is very therapeutic. Pulling weeds is a good way to expend emotion.
ReplyDeleteVery glad that your mouth is healing...so very inconvient when not.
ReplyDeleteSorry though about your friend...though it can be very difficult to defend yourself against societal pressures.
You do well in sticking what is good for you and gives you some pleasure, such as your garden. Good to know your injury has healed well. Isn't it amazing how quickly things in the mouth heal, when sometimes a scratch or cut elsewhere on the body takes ages to disappear.
ReplyDeleteHi Friko - interesting how people 'behave' in some circumstances. I'd be upset (perhaps a 'light' word) for apparently despicable behaviour from someone who does know better, and who is much more able to cope than so many others locked up in flats, in tower blocks, in crowded suburbs ... yes, I understand.
ReplyDeleteSo glad Paul is coming today and you can get some more bare-earth areas ready for the new plants ... to visually cheer you on, but that garden structure is there. That's good about the scabs no longer a blip on your visage. Take care and all the best - Hilary
Somewhat ironically, after all the good advice I left you after your fall, I took a tumble at work this week and peeled a large hunk of skin off my leg. The first thing I thought about wasn't stopping the bleeding, it was, "Well, at least it wasn't my lip!" I'm healing, too, although it's going to take a bit longer than yours, I suspect.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the leg, I pitched forward and hit a wooden hand rail with the bridge of my nose. In that instance, I got a truly tiny little cut (about 1/32"), but it never showed any swelling or bruising. All I could think about that was "Well, there's my bone scan for the year!"
Dear Friko - I had to look at your last post to see what happened with you. I'm so glad to read that your lip has pretty much healed.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your friend has disappointed you the way they have. Just keep doing what you are doing for your own safety and peace of mind.
Love, hugs and prayers for you ~ FlowerLady
Good news that the lip has now healed and is only a memory, and a scar. It's hard to know just what to do regarding this continuing lockdown. I am really ready to resume normal life, but still I stay inside and just ordered two more face masks.
ReplyDeleteDisappointing to find out a friend has a deep ethical gap in their character.
ReplyDeleteBut glad you are healing well.
I'm glad you're healing well and keeping busy with the garden.
ReplyDeleteYou always find out people's true natures in a crisis situation. Never fails. People show you who they truly are. Sad to find that out about someone you liked.
Hang in there and stay the course. ;)
I guess I missed reading about your fall. We are all so different in personality and in ability to endure challenge. In America we have never had a war come to our cities and we are spoiled and soft and think all sacrifices are temporary. I think getting out is inevitable,but people must wear masks, use antiseptics on hands and avoid long friendly conversations. I am an introvert and find this sheltering in place fairly easy. But i am so worried about a global depression....
ReplyDeleteLike you, I've been spending more time in the garden -- and therefore it's been looking less and less attractive. Still, we get some fresh air, a little bit of exercise. It's good for us.
ReplyDeleteIn every time of crisis we are tested: will be rise to the occasion and do what's right or will be succumb to panic and selfishness. It is also true most will do the right thing and be dumbfounded and furious as seeing the ones not doing the right thing and generally getting away with it. Indeed the answer is to continue what is decent. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGlad you were able to avoid the hospital and are healing nicely. Had my share of falls beginning in 2015. I admire your ability to take a stand and not blindly follow the instructions of the "professionals." Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad, Friko, that your lip has healed well. You spend more time in the garden, spring is beautiful. Paul helps you, everything is fine.
ReplyDeleteYour friend is a selfish person, some persons think that they will not become infected. Here the number of cases increases.
Take care of yourself, dear.
Good to know you're recovered from the accident, and that the garden offers "capabilities" still. As for your friend, it can be even more of a shock to discover the "I'm all right Jack" tendency in someone you thought very differently of: it takes all sorts to make a world, I suppose, but that doesn't lessen the undermining effect on one's view of the world, or at least that portion of it. Let's hope others are more trustworthy.
ReplyDeleteMy scar is on the left upper side of my lip. The fall was in 2018, still have scar tissue that draws up.
ReplyDeleteYour garden will be marvelous.
Glad you have recovered from your fall. I don't know how or why some people think they are exempt, or is it entitled? I put flowers in the bed around our red bud tree this weekend and I must say, it makes me happy to see them.
ReplyDeleteI like your blue flower photo, very pretty. I wish I had a garden where I could work out like you do. I just have a backyard with weeds, but there are some flowers, mostly wild, around the house. I’m sorry about your friend. Me, I don’t have any worries because here in Nashville I don’t have any friend yet, and by being confined I won’t make any soon. I don’t know if people are social distancing because I have been in this house since March 14, apart for a quick run to the pharmacy. But I see people walking by my house and since March 14 have only seen 4 or 5 wearing masks. Tennessee and Georgia ares re-opening I think, but that’s not reassuring because hardly anyone has been tested.
ReplyDeleteI like the blue of your clematis, I have 3 clematis, each is so different, they are fun plants. I missed the post about your accident and lip, good to know you are healing. I think this lockdown will cause some weeding of friends that disappoint us! I haven't gone to a store or social event in 70 days, rather a dismal thing to contemplate.
ReplyDeleteI too made a disappointing discovery about a long time Friend, both about her COVID irresponsibility and about what and who she champions that is vile and truly shocking to me. Sometimes we don't really know people like we thought we did.
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