The first Sunday in Advent today and I received my first enquiry regarding our plans for Christmas.
“What are you doing for Christmas”, is the standard phrase used by everybody. “Have you got family coming?"
Millie and I were out for our usual afternoon walk around the castle. It’s close to the house and she can roam and explore to her heart’s content without having to be on a lead at any time. Mostly, I lose sight of her; at any rate, she knows her way home and I am free to wander and let my thoughts take me where they will.
As I was climbing the bank, Piper, a huge and unruly Gordon setter came bounding up to me, which meant Helen couldn’t be far away. I could hear her shouting: “Gently, Piper, gently.” Piper is friendly but there’s nothing gentle about him. Since he once thumped my knees so hard that he had me reeling, I am careful of him. Millie saw him from afar and came galloping to the rescue, imperilling my foothold even more. Helen soon reached us and grabbed hold of Piper’s collar.
“No family? Aw,” she said and pulled a face, implying that she was sad for me. “What about you, are you having a family Christmas?” I asked in return. Several members of Helen’s family live in Valley’s End. Helen looked away for a moment, then said, that no, she was going to have a quiet Christmas on her own and for once wouldn’t have to cook a turkey. “For the first time in 30 years”, she added. “We will have a family meal a few days before Christmas though.” Helen was bright and cheerful about it. “I am going to eat cold things from the fridge and sit all day by the fire, doing nothing.” It was my turn to pull a ‘sorry for you” face. “No, no, she said, it’ll be lovely, I don’t often do nothing. It’ll be really good."
we will be with my family...and then traveling for a family get away right after christmas...i think i would miss seeing family at christmas...that would not be easy for me...
ReplyDeleteWhy not invite Helen over and share a chicken and some spirits together. Piper, though should stay at home.
ReplyDeleteI hope to have a quiet Christmas at home myself. We will see family both before and after the day, but a quiet day would be a wonderful gift.
ReplyDeleteAnd, since the weather will be HOT, no hot meal. Fruit salad. And a glass (or two) of bubbles.
Ah, so many implications. Not a holiday I care to celebrate so a Christmas Day like any other is fine with me. I see my family often enough.
ReplyDeleteIs there a soup kitchen or the like nearby? If I were alone, I might do that.
ReplyDeleteI had an interesting conversation with my dad's cousin the other day. She hadn't been well and we invited her for Thanksgiving. She declined, but I went to visit and take her some pie. She said "I've spent many holidays alone and I kind of am used to it. I'll be just fine." No martyrdom, just clear presentation of the facts!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what ours will bring. We have new routines since Kevin and Molly got together and we aren't quite sure what they are. Juggling two grown kids, a future daughter-in-law and three sets of parents isn't easy. Last year we invited the friends and the Dad's cousin -- and it was lovely. We'll work it out as we go along, just like we do every day. And it will be quite fine.
As we age, those holidays often morph into something very different than when we are young. I love our quiet celebration, unless I travel to be with my siblings, and then it is all raucous and overwhelming. Both have their charms.
ReplyDeleteBlog invisible husband and I live in a fairytale and don't often take ourselves into the mundane world beyond our apartment. . . .
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
=^..^=
I often think you all are quite fortunate not to have Thanksgiving and Christmas so close together. We had the opportunity to either have family with us twice in a month, or not, if they don't come around for a family Thanksgiving or a family Christmas. Either way, it is all quite stressful. I'm not complaining that our holidays bump into each other over here across the pond, but sometimes, it seems they do. A quiet holiday is nice if it is by choice. If it is because the children don't seem to find the way home, then I really am too sad to have a quiet holiday. I hope your Christmas is just how you wish it to be.
ReplyDeleteHi Friko, I'm always a little jealous of your views of sky and fields from the castle. This Christmas will be different for us - we're planning to spend it quietly, just the two of us at our mountain home. We love family and grandchildren, but time alone together is also precious at our age. Of course, leading up to it, we'll spend some dates already arranged with children and grandchildren. I won't be cooking huge feasts though - been there, done that. I came by to tell you to enjoy the season, Friko. Best wishes to you from CO.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many views on the desirable way to spend the holiday and your little recall of the conversation says so much about that.
ReplyDeleteUs? A much-desired quiet 25th, followed by the arrival of the little-family-that-grew on the 27th. The house will be bursting, but the expectations are (blessedly) different after the Big Day.
Oh, I haven't even thought about Christmas yet. We just had Thanksgiving which we spent mostly on the road. coming back from the desert. Christmas will be spent at home this year. As usual we will celebrate Christmas Eve like we did back in Germany. My daughter's only Christmas wish is the extended version of the "Lord of the Rings" movies, so I guess we'll spend Christmas Day in our jammies watching those dvds. Doesn't sound too bad.
ReplyDeleteI love the photo of the castle - so nice to have that close by. I would love walking there as well, with or without a dog.
Changing between family days and quiet days on my own is something I very much enjoy. The older I get, the more "me"-time I need, though. Christmas (Heilig Abend for me, more than anything) is hard to imagine without my parents and sister. I remember how strange the first Heilig Abend without my grandparents felt, and then without my husband.
ReplyDeleteOne year, I would love to spend Christmas with the family in Yorkshire. I've never been there in winter.
HI Friko - this year I shall be more relaxed after the last few years .. and the day spent at my brother's house, tiny village Church with painted walls c/o the Bloomsbury set ... wonderful setting, good dinner, middle of the day easy going - dog walks on the Downs et al ... Christmas Eve at 'sister-in-law's sister's house!' nearby .. fish pie usually .. so far there are 11 of us .. but I suspect we'll gather a few others before December goes past. It'll be more peaceful than it has been in the past ... I shall visit the Nursing Centre as well during the days before and after ... just hope that festive white stuff stays away! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThe picture you describe is all the more powerful for so delicately not quite suggesting the story-behind-the-story, Friko.
ReplyDeleteAs for my Christmas, well, my brother rather enjoys playing paterfamilias, so I shall be there for a few days, in a picture-postcard village, with, no doubt, lots of excitement from his (generally delightful) grandchildren.
I hope things are looking up for you, after your last post.
Its just us, although very good neighbour invited us to Christmas Eve get together and also Christmas Day Dinner - might go, might not. My pyjamas are pulling me to stay in them all day and play with whatever Santa brings, watch movies, eat and eat and eat:)
ReplyDeleteInteresting this. We don't "do" Christmas but do celebrate Solstice and the changing of the light.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
Back in the saddle and catching up.
Sometimes I really want a very, very quiet Christmas. Other times I thoroughly appreciate having loads of people around. I suspect it has SOMETHING to do with who is doing the cooking :)
ReplyDeleteYes, it will be really good for once for your friend to have a quiet Christmas - something I think I long for, but not yet tested. The important thing is to see loved ones at some point over the holiday if possible but not to worry too much about the day itself - it will take care of itself. We are holding Christmas on the 23rd this year which just happens to be the day most of the family can be with us, last year it was the 24th and the year before that the 26th!
ReplyDeleteSounds as though Helen is putting a brave face on it.
ReplyDeleteDoing nothing at Christmas sounds like a little bit of heaven. I so seldom 'do nothing' either. I wish Helen a day of love, joy and peace.
ReplyDeleteSounds like someone who enjoys her own company, finally getting to indulge her preferences. A quiet Christmas sounds lovely.
ReplyDeleteI generally see my family once somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This eyar, I'll be having my Christmas with just my boys.
ReplyDeleteWe generally put up some Christmas decorations beforehand, and I make a apple/cranberry salad. We drive to my daughter's home for the actual holiday. We leave early, avoiding any traffic on the road, and leave early to come home, too. I hate the drive, but it's good to see my granddaughters who come home for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you and Helen should get together!
ReplyDeleteMy whole family is coming this year, and I am looking forward to it. Right now, though, I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get ready!
=)
Doing nothing
ReplyDeletesounds like a little bit of Heaven...
I agree
I've spent my Thanksgivings and Christmases alone for over a decade. I love my peaceful, quiet holidays and being alone doesn't dampen my annoying, high-flying spirits--LOL! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing there's an untold sad little story behind that casual conversation, Friko. I think DH would love to have Christmas quietly at home with just the two of us, but it hasn't happened yet. Since I no longer have to work over Christmas we go to our two for Christmas and New Year, alternating the order of visit year by year. He may grumble, but he'll enjoy it, just as I do.
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