Sunday, 9 October 2011

The Break-Up

Tess Kincaid's Prompt for Oct 9th

Image: Michael Sowa - from the Little King



I always knew it couldn't last, they were just too different. She wanted the paper early in the morning, he wanted to sit over a leisurely cup of coffee mid-morning, and have what the Brits call  'elevenses', while slowly perusing and neatly folding back page after page.

She wanted to hear the thud of the paper on the doormat while she was coming out of the shower; she liked slipping into a robe and scanning the headlines while slurping her boiling hot coffee. It didn't take her long, but it helped her to face the day.

 He wanted to have his shower, shave and get dressed, clear last night's bottle and glasses away, let the dog out and feed the cat, have a quick cup of tea and a piece of toast while checking his messages. He would then stroll down to the shop in the village, to pick up the paper and the latest gossip. 

When she first moved in, the question of who read the paper when didn't arise. They'd stay in bed for as long as they decently could to savour each other's presence, then get up at the same time and, more often than not, shower together. I'm sure you all get the picture. But they had been together for some time before she even moved in and now, after two years of intimacy, love's first, sweet, careless rapture had worn a little threadbare. 

It wasn't just the paper, of course, other long established habits had crawled into their relationship; minor irritations had emerged and, as so often happens when goodwill is overtaken by impatience, cracks had appeared which threatened the fabric of their lives together.

It was inevitable, they broke up. Everything they had bought together, they split fifty/fifty; when she finally left, his apartment seemed very empty all of a sudden. He was surprised by how sad he felt.

I tell you though, not half as sad as me; when she left, she took with her the love of my life, Juliet to my Romeo, Hero to my Leander, Laura to my Petrarch, Isolde to my Tristan, Beatrice to my Dante  -  I could go on, but I think I'll stop here  -  my one and only Queen. We'd sit together on the table, she filled with sweetener, my belly holding the sugar, happy in the knowledge that we were a pair no man could put asunder. 

How wrong we were.



49 comments:

  1. Trying to marry personal habits might be the toughest part of a new relationship, especially at this stage of the "game." Splitting up the stuff later is even harder, but a sugar and creamer left asunder is simply unconscionable.

    You always add such interesting twists to these prompts.

    Poor king.

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  2. Oh wonderfully done Friko, I loved it!

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  3. awww...adorable that it is from the romeo and juliet perspective...sad that they are forever seperated...magical write friko

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  4. Once again, Friko, you prove yourself to be a creative and imaginative writer. Thank you for this short-short story.

    Peace.

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  5. I couldn't live with her either. I insist on an early cup of coffee and a virgin paper, all to myself.

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  6. Very nice piece. I think David and I are a pair no one could put asunder and we even have different political opinions which change daily. Dianne

    PS and I suspect he likes the dog better than me.

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  7. Perhaps they should have persevered a bit more. When you make that big commitment - first you both see all the good, then you see all the bad, but it's only when you both work through all the good and the bad together that you really know what marriage is all about. Coming up to our 46th wedding anniversary in April next year x

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  8. Remarkable that the one left behind has the real sugar...

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  9. Sugar or sweetener, you can't escape your sweet way with words! ♥

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  10. i can see brilliance in this writing again... love it! :-)

    JJRod'z

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  11. oh, very clever. enjoyed this one.

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  12. Methinks the King was her 'sugar daddy'.

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  13. As with most of us, you don't know what you've got til its go.
    Great story Friko!

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  14. I like Martin's suggestion. :)
    In case of split-up, it's always a good idea to have someone waiting in the wings.
    Your fascinating writing Friko

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  15. awww what a bitter sweet tale- the least they could have done is kept those two together! Clever tale!

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  16. You are so creative! I loved it. Very nice.

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  17. Poor lonely king... Very nice tale.

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  18. It's sad how "rapture worn a little threadbare" is all it takes to end a relationship. Some of the sweetest moments come after the threadbare stage.

    It is especially sad when it impacts on and ends the neighboring relationships. ;D

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  19. Married now for about ten years, and it has been mostly me who I got and get to know, day after day. Yes, a challenge I guess most of the time. Great writing indeed.

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  20. You do those final twists so well, Friko!

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  21. Oh, Friko, you are wonderful. Split fifty/fifty. Oh dear.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  22. I absolutely adored this! BRAVO... I can't see how anyone can top this imaginative take on the Magpie prompt.

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  23. What a clever tale, and ending! I love your short stories! You are so very creative!

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  24. You may have hit a universal chord: I certainly have some unpaired brick-a-brack like that left over from my first serious relationship.

    My Magpie 86 entry is Cepheus.

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  25. "Poor King" reminds me of Tristan and Isolde. I love your imagination.

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  26. Champion my dear

    ooo the word verification is: misme!

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  27. friko - ahhhh the details, the details!!! i find the differences more fascinating and energizing than the similarities. that bothers my wife all on its own!! steven

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  28. One (salt and pepper) used for sugar and sweetner - she got to take the Queen I gather! Thanks.

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  29. Creativity abounds as always, love the final twists each and every time you write.

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  30. I enjoyed the story,Thanks for your comment at my blog. I will be spending time here from now on.

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  31. Great Magpie! Your creativity is wonderfully expressed!

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  32. I can't add much to the comments already posted except to say there is more truth than poetry to your clever story. Well done.

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  33. I thoroughly enjoyed this .....

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  34. I love this! Amazing take on the prompt.

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  35. I agree, you are a master of the surprise ending!

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  36. A simple tale beautifully told - but the quirky ending was the icing on the cake:-)

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  37. Accommodation is never a lark,
    and after twenty years in my present
    marriage, it is still a delicate balance.
    Love helps tremendously, of course.
    But you put your finger on the pulse
    of incompatibility, as with my practice
    wife of five years; misery that I finally
    decided was not for me. But your
    storyteller's eye and heart are still
    bang on; thanks for the treatise and
    the twist.

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  38. Two newspapers might have solved this strife and left the poor porcelain sweetly (ahem) in bliss.
    XO
    WWW

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  39. Hi Friko .. wonderful words and story line again .. you are so clever with these posts .. loved it - cheers Hilary

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  40. Congratulations on another great story (small peak into interesting lives.) This is definitely a first chapter to a book I must read someday!!

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  41. this is such an outstanding story! Love love love it!

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  42. It's funny...whenever I think of the bumps in my own life, I imagine exactly this sort of scene...the incompatibility of morning routines, the desire to bond over toast and tea and The Guardian. Or The Financial Times. (My fantasies are sort of specific.)

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  43. Oh Friko this is sad. The last paragraph made me feel quite tearful.

    Anna :o]

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  44. This reminds me of a charming Pixar animated film that showed here a few months ago, "Gnomio and Juliet." We took our grandson and thoroughly enjoyed it; there are such clever things inserted into Pixar kids movies for the grown-ups who buy the tickets.

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  45. very creative. made me feel like i knew the characters so well !

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