The Twelve Days of Christmas - 22nd Window

"Twelfth Night" by David Teniers the Younger (1634-40)

The Twelve Days of Christmas begin on  December 25 and end on Epiphany, January 6. In the Middle Ages this period was one of continuous feasting and merrymaking, which climaxed on Twelfth Night, the traditional end of the Christmas season.

During the twelve days of Christmas, traditional roles were often relaxed, masters waited on their servants, men were allowed to dress as women, and women as men. Often a Lord of Misrule was chosen to lead the Christmas revels. Some of these traditions were adapted from older, pagan customs, including the Roman Saturnalia. Some also have an echo in modern day pantomime where traditionally authority is mocked and the principal male lead is played by a woman, while the leading older female character, or 'Dame' is played by a man.

Everybody knows the hardy perennial
"The Twelve Days Of Christmas'.

Here is a rather different version in the form of
A Correspondence

25th December

My dearest darling

That partridge, in that lovely little pear tree! What a

enchanting, romantic,poetic present! Bless you and thank you.

Your deeply loving Emily

26th December

Mr dearest darling Edward

The two turtle doves arrived this morning and are cooing

away in the pear tree as I write. I'm so touched and

grateful.

With undying love, as always, Emily

27th December

My darling Edward

You do thinks of the most original presents: whoever

thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really

come all the way from France? It's a pity that we have no

chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Thank you,

anyway, they're lovely.

Your loving Emily

28th December

Dearest Edward

What a surprise - four calling birds arrived this morning.

They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly -

they make telephoning impossible. But I expect they'll calm

down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I'm very

grateful - of course I am.

Love from Emily

29th December

Dearest Edward

The postman has just delivered five most beautiful gold

rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly. A

really lovely present -lovelier in a way than birds, which do

take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived

yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I'm afraid

none of us got much sleep last night. Mummy says she wants

us to use the rings to 'wring' their necks - she's only

joking, I think; though I know what she means. But I love

the rings. Bless you

Love, Emily

30th December

Dear Edward

Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door

this morning, it certainly wasn't six socking great geese

laying eggs all over the doorstep. Frankly, I rather hoped

you had stopped sending me birds - we have no room for them

and they have already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you

meant well, but - let's call a halt, shall we?

Love, Emily

31st December

Edward

I thought I said no more birds; but this morning I woke up

to find no less than seven swans all trying to get into our

tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not think what happened to

the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds - to

say nothing of what they leave behind them. Please, please

STOP

Your Emily

1st January

Frankly, I think I prefer the birds. What am I to do with

eight milkmaids - AND their cows? Is this some kind of a

joke? If so, I'm afraid I don't find it very amusing.

Emily

2nd January

Look here Edward, this has gone far enough. You say you're

sending me nine ladies dancing; all I can say is that judging

from the way they dance, they're certainly not ladies. The

village just isn't accustomed to seeing a regiment of

shameless hussies with nothing on but their lipstick

cavorting round the green - and it's Mummy and I who get

blamed. If you value our friendship - which I do less and

less - kindly stop this ridiculous behaviour at once.

Emily

3rd January

As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are

prancing abour all over what used to be the garden -before

the geese and the swans and the cows got at it; and several

of them, I notice, are taking inexcusable liberties with the

milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbours are trying to have us

evicted. I shall never speak to you again.

Emily

4th January

This is the last straw. You know I detest bagpipes. The

place has now become something between a menagerie and a

madhouse and a man from the Council has just declared it

unfit for habitation. At least Mummy has been spared this

last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an

ambulance. I hope you're satisfied.

5th January

Sir

Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform

you that with the arrival on her premises a half-past seven

this morning of the entire percussion section of the

Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra and several of their friends

she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction

to prevent your importuning her further. I am making

arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.

I am, Sir, Yours faithfully,

G.CREEP

Solicitor-at-law

Messrs. Sue, Grabbit & Run

John Julius Norwich