Tuesday 16 July 2019

This Gardening Life


This time of year there should be little of the hard-work-kind-of-gardening. Some cutting back, some pruning of shrubs that have finished flowering, keeping the lawn cut, watering in dry spells, dead heading roses and such like being all that is required. Normally. But for me and my garden this is not a normal year. On the face of it it all looks okay-ish; a bit more than lush maybe, but not too overgrown.


But look behind and in-between and you’ll soon see what a mess it all is. Three years of neglect don’t  just leave superficial scars. Yesterday I found a 4ft high clutch of thistles, merrily sprinkling white fluffy seedheads for next year's nightmare. Gentle, lady-like weeding is not called for; I trample through great thickets of the nastiest, most pernicious weeds and rip them out by the sackful. Anything that was meant to be there has either been choked to death or is being ripped out with the nasties.


You know how I’ve praised Old Gardener in the past and moaned about Paul's lack of effect. I tried a new chap but I didn’t really take to him. Besides, he was far too expensive. I don’t mind paying for good work but he didn’t make much difference during the basic 2 ½ hours he was here. I think he wasn’t impressed with me either, he wasn’t keen on setting another date.  Instead, Paul has been coming a couple of times per week when the weather suited.


This is what happened: during a tea break we had a chat. I had worked out in advance what I was going to say and I kept to my script. In effect I asked Paul to become my new Austin. I said I didn’t expect him to work as hard as Old Gardener but I hoped he would show an interest in the state of the garden. Give me feedback, make suggestions, answer questions, trust himself to do a decent job without constantly needing me to instruct him. Come twice a week some weeks, at least until we had created some order out of the chaos. (My pictures really are very selective!)


And this is what happened next: Paul started off by saying he could not be someone else, he could only be himself. But we could maybe make a start and see how we got on. He told me about his mental illness, his physical problems, all of which I know about and will respect. I promised that I will never ask him to do more than he can but hoped that he wasn’t just the chap who came and did what he was told, collected his wages and left, without having shown commitment or responsibility.


So far it’s worked. I hate having to get used to new people all the time and I’d rather put up with a bit of inconvenience than training yet another helper. Besides, Paul knows his way around a garden, making him use his knowledge can only be of benefit to him. Since we worked more closely together I have praised him and I think he was glad to have this confirmation of his worth. He has actually looked at me, responded to initiatives and even cracked a smile and told a joke. He has also told me a tale of his past. Maybe there will be more gardener’s tales? Of a completely different kind than Austin’s of course. Paul is a townie, formerly in advertising, who started to garden for the love of it.


Let’s hope this phormium is a sign that things will work out. I have been growing phormiums for at least twenty years and never had one flower. Suddenly, this 10 foot spike rose out of the plant practically overnight, gradually opening weird flowers. I know that for the Kiwis amongst you this is almost a weed growing on your hillsides, for me this is an event to be appreciated. I have been told that the individual section of plant will die next spring but I can divide and separate younger shoots and replant them, also in the spring. 

Maybe this gardening life will be fun again, it is definitely lifting my own sadness and doing me good.





33 comments:

  1. My former boss continued her education in psychology, earned her degree became a psychologist, and went to work as a maseter gardener because that is where her love was. I guess you have to listen to your heart. Your garden is lovely.

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  2. I do understand selective photos of the garden, but long for the day when I COULD select beauties like these to display.
    Hooray for nudging Paul out of his comfort zone - which seems to be paying dividends for you both.

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  3. so lovely! We in Calif. never see those flowers.

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  4. untidy it may be but it still looks beautiful. my own style of gardening is barely restrained chaos. I let many things reseed and grow where they will every year and there's always a spot needing massive attention. sounds like Paul is loosening up.

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  5. Now that Paul feels respected and involved let us hope that both he and your garden feel the benefit

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  6. I love how you and Paul have come to an understanding of each other and how gorgeous is your garden, selective shots or not.
    I was having trouble with my cleaning lady who couldn't stop talking (broadcasting)driving me mad. I changed my attitude last week and listened to her with sincerity and she did the best job yet, including extras. She finally told me she was so lonely as her best friend had died and thanked me for listening to her and she looked forward to "doing" me every couple of weeks.

    We just never know do we?

    XO
    WWW

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  7. From these photos I see nothing wrong with your gardens. I'm so glad for you that you and Paul are working together and pray that you will continue to compliment each other as you work in your gardens.

    Happy Gardening ~ FlowerLady

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  8. What a beautiful place! It might be selective, but these pictures show me nothing but joy. I look forward to what the future holds for this collaboration. :-)

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  9. Good to find you feeling optimistic. Paul may turn out to be much better than you thought possible. Really good, and smart! of you to have that honest talk with him. Now he probably has a better idea of your expectations, and is more willing to put forth effort to please. I always enjoy your blog, Friko. Thank you for it.

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  10. Friko, your pictures are beautiful... selective or not. Many would love to have a garden like that. Thanks for sharing! And I hope your new gardener works out.

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  11. Your garden is fabulous. Continued good luck with it. I'm happy to know it lifts your spirits.

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  12. To me - the non-gardener who does not even have a balcony where to grow pots of tomatoes - your garden looks great, and I think I'd leave the thistles, they attract butterflies and finches.
    Your approach to Paul and his work is very reasonable, and kind at the same time. It sounds like your garden is doing him good just as he is good for your garden.
    I suppose the allotment is what my Dad misses most since he's been unable to drive (almost a year now), but we can't help it.

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  13. Your garden makes me smile, friend Friko. This garden is your baby. You made this baby, you laboured, gave birth, and you nursed and nourished it, and what a beautiful baby it is. Forget about the pain. Enjoy. Love, cat.

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  14. Superb flowers! I'm sure the sight of them does you good.
    In my country, it rains only in winter and even then not enough. So water is rather pricey. After retirement, many decide to give up their garden partially or entirely, not only because of the costs but also because they chose to focus on their ME. A garden requires efforts and time, with or without a gardener - and priorities have to be set.

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  15. Hi Friko - oh that's excellent news ... it'll certainly help Paul and obviously makes life easier for you, as you know him and appreciate his quirks ... and you've given him self-worth, which has to be so beneficial. I'm so pleased for you (both!) ... your garden is a delight ... but can feel you'll be bringing it back to some sense - giving it its rein ... yet letting it not become a jungle. The Phormium is wonderful ... it looks like its cheering you both on - it's wonderful you feel the garden will be more settled ... it's good news - cheers Hilary

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  16. Your large gardens are colorful and beautiful and they look like a lot of work to keep them in check. You did everything right with Paul and your honesty and kindness will pay dividends in so many ways.

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  17. So glad you and Paul are reaching a working arrangement. Your garden is certainly lush but what I have is overgrown. I am looking for someone to free my guest house from its jungle.

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  18. So good to hear this! Maybe you and Paul will end up with a very good working relationship. Sounds like he appreciated the positive reinforcement. Your garden is gorgeous to me. :)

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  19. Good news that Paul will be your gardener. I like that he said he couldn't be anyone else, but that he is willing to work with you. It certainly doesn't take much neglect for a garden to return to the wild, does it? But the good bones are still there and you have some gorgeous plants!

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  20. Truly understand, I garden or did on a small scale but oh loved it so. Now cannot do it
    and I guide 2 people, lucky to have them, but I want to do it. Keep moving and doing it keeps us going. I love writing and my camera and reading. So much going on with this body fine until almost 80. Lucky me - but still do not like lot, shame on me. But then the mind says
    50, maybe I am crazy - but think not - just lucky.

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  21. Good news about New Gardener, good relationships often take a bit of work, don't they? My idea of the perfect garden is a 'contained wilderness', a really hard look to achieve and probably a bit too untamed for an English garden but parts of yours gives me that feeling. Our flax (phormium) may grow wild but my efforts to grow it in my garden have not always been as successful as yours. Wherever they are, when they flower they delight me.

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  22. Your comment about your selective photos made me laugh, remembering a friend's response when I commented on how beautiful the photos are in his daily post. He said, "It's easy. I don't post the bad ones."

    I saw the best-ever word up there in your post: fun. That made me smile, too. What use is gardening or photography or cooking or whatever if we can't have a little fun with it? I have fun with my writing. I don't need to publish a book or get awards to enjoy it and honestly? By the time we reach this stage in life, enjoyment is often enough. I'm glad that Paul's decided to help you enjoy your garden a bit more, and I suspect that it's going to turn out to be a good relationship.

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  23. I'm glad you can find comfort in your garden, seeing it bloom and the satisfaction of working it. And good for you, chatting with Paul in that way. I hope it will work out -- he clearly is motivated by the feedback but honest about his limitations and that's a good start.

    And like shoreacres, I laughed about the selective photos. We all do that! And to be honest, your garden's worst photos would be better than mine's best!

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  24. It always surprises me how gardening can indeed lift sadness, calm and bring peace. It sounds like it will be good for you. Three years of negecet are certainly not undone in three weeks, it takes a while, but it will feel so good when it's done. I finally this morning cut down the Heavenly Bamboo that I have hated since day 1 we moved in here. Seven years later I tackled it at last. So - there's always hope.

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  25. Dear Friko, earlier today I was telling a neighbor--who is 57--how fortunate I was to have a passion for writing. She and I then talked about what a difference it can mean as we age if we have a "passion" for something. If something calls forth appreciation from us, gives some meaning to our day, helps us feel creative. I suspect gardening does all that for you. In addition, it enables you to create beauty and a haven. Go for it!!!! And may Paul be with you for the journey. Peace.

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  26. This partnership with Paul as gardener may work out very well for both of you, I hope so. I would benefit from hiring a gardener but keep putting it off for many reasons, tiresome to train them/get them to do what needs doing, etc. When I look at my garden it gives me joy, as yours does for you.

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  27. Hello my friend Friko!
    Thank ypu for your nice words about my garden.
    Your garden are really beautiful and lovely.
    We have many ants on my garden and they eat all the flowers.
    But they don't eat the flowers on the trees and I don't know why...

    Wishing to you a nice weekend!
    Hugs and Love to you!


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  28. Your garden looks amazing, in my book. I love how lush it is.

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  29. I can think of no better treatment for sorrow than gardening.

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  30. Well done Paul for saying you couldn't be someone else! I'm sure things will work out.

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  31. Lovely photos. I think Paul like your garden will become a new happy haven for all three, you , Paul and the plants who will be more happy with a new arrangement. My garden days are over for now. Maybe they will come back when we move to our very own house. We are still renting after our house fire 11 years ago. I have just bought a house now because renting is now becoming scary as there are so few places and rent is high. Over this year I shaill gradually move. It is out in the country by a shall town. Owning makes me feel more secure. Moving is tough though as much will need to be let go yet once again .

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