Friday, 27 April 2018

Change

One minute I am sitting staring into the void, the next I get up and the perspective on life changes.
The winds of change blow indiscriminately, sending you hither and thither without conscious volition. It might be a good thing for those like me who find it difficult to move into one direction or another deliberately. Times change and we change with them.

Or, as Dr Samuel Johnson had it (in his Drury-lane Prologue Spoken by Mr. Garrick at the Opening of the Theatre in Drury-Lane, 1747)

When Learning’s triumph o’er her barb’rous foes 
First rear’d the stage, immortal Shakespear rose; 
Each change of many-colour’d life he drew, 
Exhausted worlds, and then imagin’d new: 

I love the phrase “each change of many-coloured life he drew”. I should hold on to that thought, accept that change is inevitable and maybe even welcome it. Taking baby-steps. Life is for living and 'for the living’ and living it means being part of it in all its many-coloured facets. Death and grief are part of life.

The Syrian satirist and philosopher Lucian, whose works (written in ancient Greek) were wildly popular in antiquity has several very suitable quotations:

The world is fleeting; all things pass away;
Or is it we that pass and they that stay?

***

Realise that true happiness lies within you.

***

Not every story has a happy ending, 
but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth telling.

Beloved’s son and daughter in law came for a flying visit all the way from the US; as you know I live way off the beaten track, far from motorways and airports, and I would have understood if they had chosen to save themselves the extra two days’ travel to spend time with a relative-by-marriage only. But they came and I am both grateful and very appreciative; I had a great time with them, we talked about everything under the sun: politics, literature, music, travel, family news and, of course, Beloved. I handed over old photographs, family documents, music Beloved had written during the course of his life, even his school reports and records of prizes he’d won during his studies. I still have a large box of poems and diaries and other writings; in due course, after reading everything myself first, I will pass them over too. Beloved’s son is very like his father, in looks, bearing and intelligence; having him was almost like having Beloved again. It was a good visit.

My step-daughter-in-law was most encouraging, she told me that I must get a decent hair cut, find a colouring product that doesn’t provoke an allergic reaction, look after myself and get out from under the cloud of sadness. She also told me the story of an old aunt of her’s, who lost her husband in her early seventies and lived for another 20 years, apparently enjoying every minute of it, going travelling, making new friends and indulging her every whim. 

Very well, I will try.




31 comments:

  1. It's good to hear hope in your words.

    ReplyDelete
  2. They sound like the very best kinds of visitors. I love that you all benefited from the visit too. I am sure that they were/are very grateful for the gifts you gave them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Friko - that's such a good read ... and I'm so happy you were able to have that time with Beloved's son and his wife ... it does sound like it was a really happy, heart opening time - and just great to have the nudge to push on out ... a life is for living - and we can do it our way ... as we wish ... so enjoy some spring and summer outings - take care and all the best -and thanks for updating us - cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
  4. They care about you, Friko, and that is why they made the long trip. How comforting that visit must have been.

    I love the quotes especially “Realise that true happiness lies within you”. It is not always easy to find, but is certainly worth the journey.

    ReplyDelete
  5. They sound lovely people. It is wonderful how a visit from outside one's own little circle can alter perspectives. I hope you take their advice.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This was a wonderful post to read dear Friko. Life goes on, and there are joys and beauty to be found in each new day. I'm so glad you had this lovely time with your Beloved's son and daughter-in-law. It was good for all of you.

    Have a very nice weekend ~ Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad you had a good visit -- and how nice to have one from not only someone outside your daily universe but with whom you could share such good thoughts and memories of Beloved. I know they will treasure his papers and how wise and kind of you to pass them on. That is such a gift and I would want each and every page of my parents' writings. They sound like a couple with whom you can talk on so many things -- and good on your daughter-in-law for her encouraging suggestions! She sounds like someone I would like!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is as if Beloved sent his children to you, and of course, in a sense, he did.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a wonderful post, filled with love and possible directions you might travel in the near future. It has made me smile all day, thinking of it. Blessings to you, dear Friko. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a happy visit...take the advice...but why bother to colour your hair?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes there is a whole world of adventure still ahead. Do go for it. My aunt did it too for another 24 years. She made some great new friends in her home in Hnnover. So happy for your visitors.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I say a great, carefree haircut is worth more than hair coloring. Perk up the grey with "silver" products. If you're about to enjoy new adventures, you will have less hair maintenance $$. I, too, heard hope in your post.

    ReplyDelete
  13. she's right, as is Lucian. life is for the living and is such a fleeting gift. change is inherent in life and while you will carry your grief with you, not living will not make it go away. so glad you had a good visit with the step-children, passing on cherished items. so yes, there is still much for you to see and do in this life.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hugs!! Yes, you could be around a long time. Making the most of it sounds like something to look forward to. :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Your Beloved's son and daughter-in-law's visit sounds like it was a great tonic for you. Life rarely turns out as we think it will. Johnson's words "Each change of many-coloured life..." tugged at my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  16. How wonderful for Beloved's son and daughter-in-law to come and visit. That wasn't the sort of visit undertaken casually, as one would for a friend or relative on the other side of town. It's clear that they care for you, and it sounds as though the time was refreshing, and enjoyable. Passing on some of the papers and such was such a generous gesture on your part, and so right in so many ways. I've been thinking of you, and wondering how things were going. This is a lovely bit of news to read.

    ReplyDelete
  17. What a balm that visit was for you! I look forward to reading about your new adventures. Your stepdaughter-in-law is a wise woman.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you for this, dear Friko. It lifts my heart to know that your outlook is more optimistic. How wonderful that "the kids" came to spend time and share memories and thoughts with you. Please keep talking to us. We are
    cheering you on.

    ReplyDelete
  19. How wonderful for them to visit you! Live goes on:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Glad you had a nice visit; they must love you very much. And your poetry lines touch a very sympathetic nerve.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Good!
    Lauf los Friko, lauf, vorwaerts! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. All love comes with a price tag attached, friend Friko ... and sometimes it can be pretty hefty ... Love, cat.

    ReplyDelete
  23. They sound excellent people, not light medlers by any means, bearing wise advice. Come to think, my own mum, and a good friend also, both bloom with new joy in later years. I look to them to face my future with confidence. Best wishes

    ReplyDelete
  24. I like a woman who can tell another woman to get a decent haircut! She and your stepson sound thoroughly decent, and I'm happy that you found some comfort in his resemblance to his father. As for clouds, perhaps you could think seriously about that idea you had of taking a break somewhere. There's always the So of France...

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love that last sentence - "Very well, I will try." Half the battle of change is the recognition of our own willingness. Can't wait to read of your new adventures.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dear Friko, in the past--and this will probably happen again--I have been so down, so despondent, so lost--that I was unable to say "I will try." The words tasted foul in my mouth. So for you to say those words seems to me to be a great step forward back into life. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It sounds like a wonderful visit. And please do try.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I have no doubt you are going to rise.

    it says a lot about you and beloved and his children that they journeyed to you. How wonderful.

    love
    kj

    ReplyDelete
  29. I love your last line. It seems like the Old Friko and the New Friko too. You're so wise to be passing along things that your Beloved's son might want. It lightens your household inventory in a meaningful and loving way. Change will come in its own good time. In the meantime, I hope you give yourself a round of good seasons to help with the decision. You live in such a beautiful place.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I like that. I think you should take that advice. I can’t wait to hear how you write the next chapter.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.