Sunday, 18 December 2016
If you love Christmas and everything that goes with it, don’t read on. I am feeling grumpy. A list of my favourite hates might just make me feel better:
Mince Pies, hot, cold, or tepid, with or without cream.
Christmas cake, the stuff that sticks to your teeth like cement
Christmas Pudding with or without Brandy butter
(in fact, anything that’s overloaded with dried fruit)
Mulled Wine, mulled cider, mulled apple juice. Mulled anything.
Tinny carols in shops
Charity tins rattling in my face
Kids at the door singing a fraction of a carol and expecting instant largesse
Flickering Christmas lights on the front of houses
Overdone decorations anywhere, full stop
Smelly Santas in grottoes
Rain on Christmas Day
Round robins from anyone, particularly the boastful kind
Forgetting to buy batteries for kids’ toys
Having to be nice to people you can’t stand the sight of at any other time of year
Calling Christmas X-mas
Forgetting to buy vital items like lemons and indigestion pills
Watching a growing pile of gifts you will have to exchange after Christmas
People who give you a receipt with their gift to make the exchange easier
Christmas Specials on TV of programmes I never watch at any other time
Feeling grumpy when everyone else is having a jolly good time.
Do you have a similar list?