Sunday 27 September 2015

Resourcefulness, Frogs and Rumour Mills



Guiseppe Arcimboldo  -  Autumn  -  1573

Post Autumn Equinox, and the nights are drawing in. Beloved and I have had no enjoyment of summer at all; a whole barrowload of problems has seen to that. And when his problems lessened came the tailend: first I fell over, then I came down with a sudden cough and bronchitis which are lingering. Cough medicine on an empty stomach made me feel nauseous. Resourceful as I am, I thought to make myself sick with a finger down my throat. The resultant dry heaving was not only extremely painful, it also set off a bout of AFib. Once again, resourcefulness was called upon: I took a double dose of my beta blockers, paracetamol and a tranquilliser (Oxford spelling - I just looked it up!) right away, and the ordinary dose at the regular time. Whenever I tell a doctor they present a short intake of breath, and mumble: “some cocktail”. Anyway, it worked.

I have written about nothing but doctors and ailments and our general physical decrepitude for weeks. And even that only very intermittently. No wonder followers are leaving in droves. (I can’t be bothered to find out who you are - so no repercussions.) Thank you to all who have stayed with me, sent good wishes and wrote lovely comments. It feels good to know that one is not alone when the going gets tough and that others too have experience of sad times.



I am trying to make gardening easier. Removing clumps of herbaceous perennials I often come across co-residents, as this frog. He hopped away from me when my fork came a bit too close for his liking but he jumped no more than a couple of feet, there staying stock-still and posing for my camera. I encourage these fellows, in their capacity of slug police they cannot be faulted.

For several months a rumour has haunted Valley’s End that our favourite doctor, the one who saved our lives during the recent calamity, is about to retire. One chap had him taking up a job delivering BMWs, somebody else said there was general short-livedness in the doctors’ family and he was going to retire to enjoy whatever time he had left; yet another person had it for definite that the doctor’s wife had killed herself and he just couldn’t get over it. And more, each reason more outlandish and far fetched.

I can’t be doing with rumours, I need facts. At the end of the last consultation with him, we had the following conversation:

Me : “What on earth are we going to do without you?
Doc., laughing: “Nobody is indispensable”.

Me: “O yes, you are. You are too valuable for us to lose you. You are the only one who takes the time to explain things. Besides, you aren’t old enough to leave.”

Doc., laughing again : “well, I will be 60 at my next birthday. But leave? Not as far as I know. Who says?”

Me :”There’s a strong rumour doing the rounds that you are about to leave, even worse, that you are leaving before the end of the year.”

Doc. “Leave? I’ve already booked a holiday for the rest of this year and put in a holiday request for next year. So it might seem that I’m keen on holidays but I’m not retiring just yet.”

Beloved, heaving a great sigh of relief,: “Right, so I can be sick for a bit longer.”

Laughter all round.

Who comes up with such drivel? How does the rumour mill function? Who sets it off? Many patients have been going from person to person, doing the ‘between you, me and the bedpost’ dance, upsetting many others. As soon as I am told anything ‘in the strictest confidence’ I know I am being but a cog in the rumour machine, expected to spread the word.

Well, no. Find another muggins.




49 comments:

  1. It was wise advice I heard some years ago, always make sure your doctor is younger than you. Having mostly grown up on a farm, I can appreciate what village gossip is like. It can also be very cruel.

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  2. I am sure it was a relief for you to find out that the rumor was completely wrong. Last year I learned (through the Internet) that my doctor of 30 years is 78 years old, but he is still very vital and hardly looks his age. Thankfully, he is in a practice with three other doctors so we know that if he leaves, there will be another doctor who will take care of us.

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  3. Nowhere near as serious, but another rumor floated through our area last year. We live in a bit of a shopping wasteland, and a favorite store was said to be coming to our faltering mall. In fact, a friend of mine had it from one of the construction workers who had seen the building plans. Or so she said. A year has passed and no store.

    I do hope things are now on the upswing for you and Beloved. And I think blogging is a godsend when you're feeling too poorly to do anything else but still would like some form of contact.

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  4. Hi Friko - I'm glad he's going to be still around ... he must love hearing stories from you too - and he can dine on Beloved's commentary reply ... knowing he'll have work to do! Perhaps you can be sick when he's not on holiday - I guess those are the next schedules to get hold of??! However driving cars .. that seems a silly option at the moment.

    Mr Frog is very happy to be alive .. and if the slugs are anything like ours - he'll be big and fat and very healthy.

    Sorry about the falls, coughs, unintended consequences ... take care and enjoy this weather - it's stunning down here. Just glad you're here ... all the best and often think of you - cheers Hilary

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  5. Oh mercy, your self-imposed barfing and all the consequences made me smile, although I'm sure I shouldn't have done so. And you're right about those rumors: how in the world do they get started? I love your fat slug hound. Can I borrow him? :-)

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  6. Small English villages. This is where and how all those murder mysteries evolve. Your citizens love stories...good, wild, dramatic stories. And, when there are none, they make them up!

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  7. Well Friko, I am very glad that you got all that doctor rumormill stuff cleared up. Seems to me that, at 60, your doctor would not yet be considering retirement. Perhaps he could start thinking about grooming another doctor to share his practice...and have the same consideration for patients. Hey...here's a thought ... perhaps you and your Beloved might be part of the training program? Kidding you a bit with that, but I think you know what I mean.

    I do love the close up photo of the frog pretending to be invisible. It's a picture of autumn...really lovely.

    A little later today, I will be taking my first autumn walk across the Park, and hope to see many sights beside thousands of other folks taking a walk across the park. Probably no spotted frog spotting, though.

    xo

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  8. Oh dear! I'm glad you managed to get over your latest bout of AFib by - admittedly rather drastic - self-medication, and I hope the cough will go away properly soon.
    Rather annoyingly, on the first chilly weekend here after that extremely hot summer I managed to catch a cold, which meant I had to stay home from the office for two days after having returned from my holiday only 1 week.

    The rumour mill - funny, isn't it, how in English it's a mill but in Germany a "kitchen" where rumours are made :-)
    I try to take such things with humour, as long as the rumours aren't harmful to the person in question. And you did exactly what was the right course of action: you asked the very person who should know best.

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  9. It took me years to find a doctor that I liked and felt comfortable with. I had to track him down several times as he moved from one clinic to another. finally he opened a private practice but then, two years ago he closed his practice (his lease was up and he didn't want to renew) and went to work for an urgent care clinic which effectively shut me out. so now I am trying to find another doctor, most of whom I find to be arrogant. so glad your Doc is staying around for you.

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  10. Oh, Friko, I'm so glad your good doctor will be with you for the foreseeable future! That's so important, especially as you experience so many health challenges. Please, please know that many of us do understand and are with you in these trying times. It's hard to say what makes followers go away or page views to drop. I've been getting complaints from some quarters that my new picture on the blog post is too Hollywood and that I'm a terrible hypocrite because it's obviously retouched. The fact is, that picture looks more like me than the previous one and is for my writing business so it has to look more polished. Whether it's rumors or critical comments or just plain silence, I guess it's all part of the human experience. A less lovely part, to be sure. But I hope you know that there are people in the blogosphere who do care and wish you and your DH the very best!

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  11. Always amazes me how easy it is to believe rumours. I'm quite a sceptical person but when a neighbour tells me sometihng it is as though it has been passed on from On High!
    I hope things calm down for you this autumn and you get a chance to recuperate from all the troubles.

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  12. I do hope that all the illnesses and pains are now a thing of the past.....you've both had a rotten time.
    As for rumours....when in France I used to rely on my postlady...she, after all, not only heard it all while on her rounds but could check it with her colleagues on other rounds.
    If she had announced your doctor's retirement I would have believed it...otherwise not.

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  13. Indeed, about the rumor mill. Much better to listen to the frog. Losing your summer to illness and all else is no trivial matter, and if I had the power, I'd deliver a new summer to you on a golden platter. Where we are, autumn is splendid, but bittersweet, as darkness encroaches, and winter is hard (as I know you've experienced, too). What I wish for you both, and Millie, too, is a lovely autumn without any troubles of the kind you've had. Fond regards from both of us, as always.

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  14. Health problems can knock the old self esteem down. Keep on fighting.

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  15. "Find another muggins" Appreciated!

    Glad you posted so we can know how your story is going.

    There is so much more to your posts then ANOTHER packed with photos of fine meals. Thanks for sharing the real stuff.





    ALOHA
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^=

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  16. I very much agree about how wonderful it is to have you share "the real stuff". There is way too much "fluff" nowadays. We can only watch reruns on TV. When it comes to blogs, yours is much appreciated. I do wish you a wonderful fall season.

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  17. Always good to go directly to the source. The real stuff of life that you share won't drive me away. Your foggy friend is a handsome fellow.

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  18. It's good to know that you will have your good doctor to see you through whatever may lay ahead. Glad you got to the bottom of that rumour, it must have had you worried for no reason. Our Spring Equinox created havoc in my garden but it was in a mess anyway after I'd been away for so long. I hope the new season will bring a change to your health.

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  19. Sheer bloody determination works wonders but is exhausting .
    A bit of gentle gardening is a good idea , though I have a feeling that you won't just stick to floating about with a parasol and a sprig of lavender .....

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  20. How well I understand that anxiety about doctors retiring. I've been with my eye doctor for a quarter-century. He's my age, and will be retiring one of these days. For years I lived with the anxiety that I wouldn't be ready for cataract surgery until after his retirement, but now that I've had the surgery, that's a non-issue. The best news is that my surgeon is in the same practice, and nearly twenty years younger than me. And, he's a glaucoma specialist as well as a crackerjack surgeon. So, all is well on that front. I hope it continues so on yours.

    I really dislike gossip and rumor, and avoid it whenever I recognize it. It's one reason I stay away from some social media, which seems to be the global village's version of what you experienced. I think in some respects gossip like that involving your doctor's presumed retirement, or even that involving world events, is a way of dealing with anxiety: a bit in the vein of "any answer is better than the real answer, if I can have that answer immediately, and stop worrying."

    I did hear a rumor that you lost a few followers because they were embarassed by your obvious ability to carry on in the face of difficulties. Rather than acknowledge their own shortcomings in that regard, they just left. (Yes, yes... I'm teasing. But there's some truth there...)

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  21. Friko, thinking of you this early morning and gossip I am aware of as I live in a small community, I take no part in it. As time goes on a lot of health problems arise and I am experiencing, do not like but do all I can.
    Take care, hope you soon feel better and love the frog...

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  22. I"m still here. :) And apparently your doctor will still be around, too. Thank heavens! It's difficult finding a doctor you really like and trust. Lovely big frog. I didn't know they ate slugs. We don't have slugs up north over here. I'm glad you are feeling better now. I hope you both have a good long break from health issues. Getting older can be quite daunting...but I am not ready for the alternative--LOL! ;)

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  23. Well I'd like to read the post that has you responding to others continuing to spread this rumour from here on. I'm glad he's staying. Perhaps someone got word of his upcoming holidays and assumed he was in much need of time away.. and the rest was manufactured from there.

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  24. Oh, this makes me chuckle. For a couple of reasons. First, it's like the telephone game -- you can tell one person something and by the time it makes it through the crowd it is more and more fantastic! But I would be concerned if I heard it. My doc is around my age. That's a great thing when you're young but after you've had some 30 or more years with him and realize he's going to retire around the time you need him most, that sends up the chills! I'd be doing the quizzing, too!

    And don't worry about losing this one no matter what you write. I'm in for the duration, I'm afraid!

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  25. a lot of it, I suspect, is a hearing deficiency combined with vanity. I've seen it happen locally with 1/2 deaf people who spread outrageous stuff and finally check with me and if I'm at liberty I clarify the situation and restore good orderly civility.

    Crazy making.

    XO
    WWW

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  26. Rumor mills are the worst sort of downer. Thankfully, the good doctor is taking a well earned vacation, and thankfully it will come when you are on the recovery end of this long journey you and Beloved have been taking.

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  27. So first, I'm sorry that sickness has stayed around for you - no fun at all. Second, I'm glad that your doctor is sticking around for some time longer. I hate finding a new doctor. My doc just retired and I still have to find a new one. It angers me. Especially since my prescriptions will run out soon and I need that stuff, unfortunately.
    Third, rumors. I hate them. I try to keep away from them, not always successfully. I also deeply dislike gossip and just keep a huge distance from gossipy people. I've even ended "friendships" because of it.

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  28. I hope for you that your doctor will make it until 71 that's what our doctor did. And then we had the same fear as you, who to choose next ? Fortunately my neighbor knew a very nice female doctor and she also does visits at home, and we are quite happy with her. But saying good bye to our "family" doctor who took care of us since 1975 was really hard !

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  29. I'm not leaving you, I'm just not as active as I once was. You write a great post even if it's about your trials. It comes to us all, but you and I can go out with laughter. Take care Friko and much love extended in your direction.

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  30. Still listening. Glad that you've still got somebody you can trust for your medical care, other than yourself, that is. That IS quite the cocktail, but good for you for having averted a stay in the hospital and the unpleasantness that goes along with what would have put you there. Does that many any sense?

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  31. I don't love rumour at all, Friko. Sometimes you can read them in "yellow press', or listen to others. I'm glad you're better after having cough, take care!

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  32. Hello Friko, QMM from Ky, USA, I did not leave you because of your posts about your health. I got a new computer and just now finding out how to get back to blogging. I have little mementos from you around and have thought of you often. Have had my own health struggles CHF, diabetes and other things, but doing good for an oldie.

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  33. "I have written about nothing but doctors and ailments and our general physical decrepitude for weeks... No wonder followers are leaving in droves."

    If a follower doesn't care when you're ill, good riddance is what I would say, but you consider it understandable that they would leave, and this makes me wonder if you're becoming seriously depressed.

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  34. Dame Rumor is a bitch.
    I think you were right not to worry yourself (or contribute) by going right to the source for clarity.

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  35. Rumor mills are quite destructive. Glad you sorted it out.
    Hope you are well. "Cocktail" that's what my dr. calls what I take to get to sleep. No alcohol.
    Quite a frog there!

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  36. I do not like rumors or gossip
    wish others would not pass on.
    My favorite doctor from my 27 years to 65 retired
    oh how I cried
    and never have found anyone like him.
    Take care...

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  37. Dear Friko, What a shock when I discovered the trials of your summer. You see I had somehow taken six months off from blogging and that eventually led to not reading anyone else's blog either. You have a gift of drawing us all in to your world and I just want to say how sorry I am for your trials. I'm not going to ramble on - I suspect you don't need that. Simply know that your blog is always brilliant, your photos are fab and your observations move me and make me laugh. Every Blessing Freda from Dalamory www.freda.org.uk

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  38. Excellent frog picture! The doctor thing does get a bit more critical as we age. I want one who at least LOOKS like they are no longer a teen. Sharing intimate details of your physical self is not easy for many so it's nice to have an actual relationship with your physician. To me, at least.

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  39. Hallo Friko,
    finde ich toll, dass Du auf solche alten italienischen Gemälde aus dem 16. Jh zurückgreifst. Diese Epoche (auch Rubens, Jordaens und wie die Flamen alle im 16./17. Jh heißen, gefällt mir immer. Ich bin übrigens seit diesen Tagen auf meiner Webseite www.rheinland-blogger.net vertreten, nachdem es längere Zeit um mich still geworden ist (die Rennradtouren waren sehr zeitaufwändig).

    Gruß Dieter

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  40. Dear Friko, I'm saddened to learn that you and "Beloved" have had so much ill health and it sounds from this posting that death was near. I'm hoping that both of you truly are on the mend and that your bodies are recuperating from the stress of this past year.

    I've been away from blogging and posting because of ill health also. But nothing was as bad as what I glean from this posting of yours. Now I'm trying to resume my life and find a routine that works for me and that allows rest as well.

    Let's encourage one another. Peace.

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  41. Good for you for not listening to the rumour mill but getting to the truth. And what a fine picture of your resident frog. I hope that things will go more smoothly for you and your Beloved.

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  42. Loosing a Dr. Is a nightmare when you have a good one. Rumors are a cancerous growth on a community...why and how they start seem to be trivial but they seem to become more evil as they grow. So smart to go to the horses mouth and ask your Dr. I enjoy your posts as they offer an honest not sugar coated look into dealing with health and the odds and ends life gives us to deal with. Our prayers are with you both from this little farm in Kentucky.

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  43. I have been away so have missed (and now caught up) on a number of your posts. You write, as ever, with such clarity that I didn't realize how much I missed reading here until I came back. Hope you and beloved suffer no more setbacks for a long while!

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  44. Haven't dropped by for a long while, but have been catching up on recent events via previous posts. So very sorry to hear of your troubles, Friko. I sincerely hope you and "Beloved" have turned a significant corner into better times.

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  45. It's a good thing you got that all sorted out. Rumor is a nasty thing.
    My doctor is you get than I by a good 15 years. She only works 4 days a week and that's fine with me - I hope she stays happy with her work for a good long time!

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  46. Hello. Am wondering how you are? Sure hope all is well.

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  47. Another one wondering how you are. It's been a while.

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