Thursday 27 August 2015

Up and Down. . . . .

....up and down, that’s how it goes.

A bit more up than down just now, although I have long lost count of the number of times I’ve wailed :

“Will this nightmare never end?”

Every time I think, “yessss, we’re getting there!” something new and unexpected happens. Would you believe me when I tell you that Beloved took to falling out of his bed every night for about a week? I am glad to say he’s decided to stop and stay in bed rather than go-crawl-about on the floor, running into the dog sleeping on her bed along the way and settling down for a little cuddle, before having another go at heaving himself up by painfully and laboriously clinging to any piece of furniture he was finding himself next to. He insisted that he’d fallen on his head once or twice; I should have believed him right away, he was silly enough for that to be true. On one occasion he went to bed with a bit of food stuck in a molar, he said; nothing would dislodge it, not flossing, sucking nor poking with a toothpick. But falling out of bed did it, he said; it was the first thing he noticed on landing on the floor.

Falling out of bed he hurt himself, scraping the skin on his shoulders, his neck (aha, he must have landed on his head!) and arms. creating small wounds, which bled and necessitated visits by district nurses to patch him up. District nurses are confident, capable, competent and friendly in a matter-of-fact way people; I am very grateful for their services. Unfortunately, they also tend to boss you around and refer you to all sorts of other services. We are now well and truly part of the ranks of the great unwashed, needy and vulnerable, who are considered to require the aid of untold agencies and their representatives. The trouble is, they all need to ‘assess’ us and our case and that takes time. Form-filling is a tedious occupation - more so for the ‘filled-in’ than the 'filler-inner’ - but it obviously pays their rent. I shouldn’t say that, they are all so earnest and well-meaning and I should just be thankful and shut up but I’ve always hated being patronised. But the young tend to do that, don’t they? So does anyone in the field of social care. I can only assume that most of their ‘clients’ are beyond working things out for themselves.

There’s another reason I should be grateful just now. Yesterday week ago I took a bad tumble on a mossy and damp part of the drive and really badly hurt myself all down my right side, ribs, shoulder, leg and ankle. Bruised ribs and a swollen leg don’t make for agility or even basic mobility. I could barely care for myself, much less Beloved. Isn’t it always so, once you’re in deep doodoo, something happens and the doodoo becomes a giant midden! The pain is less now but I still can’t walk Millie. You should see me getting in and out of the bath! Bare bottom on Beloved’s newly acquired bath board, gently swinging first one leg then the other up and over, feet anchored on the bath mat and, ‘Houston, we have lift-off!’ Except lift-off is perhaps too strong a word for my slow ascent to verticality (? is that a word?).

We now have a piece of paper stuck to the front door, inviting all and sundry to Ring the bell and come in. Door open. It takes ages for me to get to the front door or the landline phone so callers of either description might as well make use of this policy. Just as well we have few axe murderers in Valley’s End. And nobody carries a gun around with them either.

The first district nurse who called on Beloved after I had hurt myself commiserated by saying :”At least you don’t have the time to sit down for long,” implying that limping around on a stick was a better remedy for my aches and bruises and swollen knee than putting my feet up in relative comfort.

Ah well, there’s compassion in the world after all.

The only creature benefitting from all this is Millie; she’s never had so much exercise. Her social life is increasing faster than mine is decreasing, and that’s saying something, since mine has already dwindled to nil. Millie has acquired lots of new best friends, all willing to take the ‘poor dog’ walkies.

And Beloved is getting better too.




33 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh Friko ~ When it rains it pours! I'm glad your Beloved is doing better and pray that you will soon be much better too. It sounds like Millie is doing just fine. :-)

    Have a nice weekend ~ FlowerLady

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  2. Wow, that is a lot of health problems going on at your house and I hope the rest of August will be peaceful and healthy for you two.

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  3. How right you are that it always happens when you can least afford it to...you must be stiff and sore...and jolly fed up.
    My mother had a fall recently..nothing damaged - and since has been on the receiving end of more assessments than a participant in the Great British Bakeoff. Her patience finally broke when one asked her if she 'drank'!
    Exit one assessor blown backwards bow legged.

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  4. Hi Friko - I am sorry to read all this ... form filling is such a pain - I was grateful I didn't have to do ours, my SIL did all those things ... and for my uncle I called my brother in for one 'assessment' as such ...

    I just hope Beloved can be more settled and stay in his bed, and that you don't find any more damp, mossy patches - though I feel that's unlikely - the mossy patches - not you falling, I hesitate to add!

    Glad Millie is feeling much loved ... but look after those limbs and thank goodness that's all it was ... with thoughts from down south .. cheers Hilary

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  5. So sorry you're having such a rough time

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  6. Oh dear, what a right jolly mess it all is. I'm especially sorry that you are hurting as well -- that fall sounds miserable and it is all the worse when you are caretaking and getting around is more necessary. Then the falling out of bed is a bit scary, too. Time to move the bed against the wall, I suppose and give him the inside, but that comes with its own batch of problems, I suspect. It makes my maladies seem relatively easy by comparison. I am glad you have good visiting services, as annoying as the forms can be. Once those are finished, hopefully, you can just take advantage of their good bits.

    Well, I hope you'll take care, stop by for a bit of a break to the Gypsy and remind Millie that though she is having quite the social life, loyalties go to the one who feeds her!

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  7. Oh, Friko! I'm so sorry you and Beloved have had such troubles lately! Falls are so scary at this time of life. I'm glad to hear you're on the mend but totally understand your exasperation at being patronized. The visiting services sound good, though, so you don't have to travel to medical appointments so much. Hoping you both continue to improve and that Millie, the social butterfly, realizes who loves her most!

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  8. Aargh! Too much, too much, but so gehts im leben, eh? The paperwork is enough to drive one mad, let alone the patronizing attitude. For the most part, I think it is true the the folks administering both are well-meaning, but the assumption that one is likely non compos mentis can become tiresome to say the least. We think of you both often and send good thoughts that there will be more and more ups than downs. How good it is to have good neighbors at such a time, at least.

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  9. This seems to be going on for a long time. I hope things turn around and improvements come about. You are keeping a sense of humor.

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  10. Mixed news but good to hear of your optimism. Doesn't it help to have a virtual cry at the keyboard.

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  11. The good news is that Beloved is better. I can't believe what you two have been through! You are right about how all the ills pile up at once. Falling must have just about caused you to throw up your hands and say, "I give." Please be careful. No more falling! Take care. I'm sending you best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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  12. Commiserations, Friko! Two of you at once is quite some nightmare! I put myself out of commission about 6 weeks ago and yesterday was the first time I have been able to clib the stairs and not grimace! Best wishes for a speedy recovery for you and your beloved!

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  13. I'm so sorry you've both been injured. I won't diagnose Beloved. I' glad he's decided to stay in bed. That was a heck of a way to get the food out from between his teeth.

    Love,
    Janie

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  14. It was sad reading, dear Friko. When we're getting older we have to hope to ourselves, at least here. I'm very sorry.

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  15. Poor you, Friko and Beloved. I am glad you don't have to worry about Millie as well, and hope that there are people who can do some shopping and cleaning for you, when needed.
    Hopefully your bruises heal soon. My Dad, although not in the same condition as Beloved, tends to hurt himself very easily when working in the garden or doing other things, and because he's on blood-thinners, he barely heals before he cuts/bruises/hurts himself again. But he insists he wants to do all he's still capable of, and he's a grown man - so we try not to patronize him (not always easy for our Mum).
    Maybe people who work in social services have to be patronizing with some of their clients, and then they can't swtich off when they deal with others who are still able to think for themselves and make sound decisions.

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  16. While all this is so troubling for you and hard to read and comprehend, I AM glad that you felt good enough to write this, Friko. I have been checking to see if you have posted, worried that you hadn't. I hope your healing is steadfast and that Beloved's condition improves and his nocturnal tumblings abate.

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  17. When it rains, it pours. I'm so sorry to hear of the falls around your place, Friko. It's good to see a post pop up from you, though, and I hope that means that you are making progress towards normality, whatever that may be. So glad Millie is being walked when you are holed up in the house. Prayers for healing continue (for both of you).

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  18. Friko, your posts are both sad and funny. I don't know if you mean them to be this way, but one minute I'm feeling bad and the next I'm laughing. However, I do think it's an art to keeping a good sense of humor during difficult times. And thank god, there are no ax murderers in Valley's End!

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  19. I do not know what to write. YOu are tired. You are running out of options. You are bamboozled and want to return to a normal land. I am so hoping that things settle for the both of you. Be patient with the condescending young helpers. They really are new to this world and do not mean to seem so stupid or patronizing..

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  20. Oh phooey, Friko. This summer of 2015 has been quite a trial for you and yours. And I believe that the full moon shows up tomorrow night. Watch out for that.

    Seems to me that you all are now well deserving of a steady incline toward fine health with good functioning limbs, etc. May this wish of mine come true.

    Perhaps you'll smile a bit to hear about what happened when I was about to step into the tub for a shower one morning this week. I must have given too energetic a tug to the plastic shower curtain, because suddenly shower curtain and the pole that was supposed to be supporting it fell upon my shoulders For a moment, I could'nt quite take in what has happened, but then I just had to laugh.

    Wonder what would have happened if I had not been able to extricate myself from that plastic/metal covering and had been forced to stay there, naked, for a very long time, until someone I knew, or someone who works in my apartment building might have noticed that they'd not seen or heard from me for a while.

    Glad to have been able to set that scenario aside for another day. And yet...along with my giggles, I did feel just that bit unsettled.

    Somehow, I did manage to get all returned to normal status, had my shower and washed my hair, got all dried and styled...and still got to work on time. Sometimes, a boring, predictible morning is welcome.

    Did you smile? xo

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  21. There's really nothing I can add to all the good wishes for your recovery, and your beloveds, but Frances's comment just above reminded me of a true story that may fit in the "things could be worse" category.

    For years, friends from England came over once yearly to visit their son and whichever daughter-in-law they had at the time (there were three, I believe). On their next-to-last visit before they stopped with the transatlantic business, the husband of the pair had gone to take a shower. Getting out of the tub he slipped and fell, wedging himself firmly between the toilet and the tub -- naked as a jay bird.

    They tried everything. Nothing they did could get him loose. Finally, in desperation, they called the fire department, who had the good grace to keep their comments to themselves. They couldn't get him unstuck. Finally, in a moment of inspiration, one of the young firefighters asked, "Do you have some cooking oil?' To make a long process short, they oiled him up and slipped him right out, with only his pride hurt.

    Keep that in mind for the future -- and pray you never have to use the technique!

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  22. Oh Friko, you too will be happy to kick 2015 to the curb. I'm so sorry to read about the falls and ensuing aches and pains. Your Beloved has you to care for him but you are left to deal with all the irritatingly helpful bureaucracy and your own recovery. I hope life sends a bouquet or two your way soon.

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  23. The best news of this post is that beloved is getting better and you are healing your aches and pains away. Be careful out there on those mossy parts. I know how slippery they can be. Millie is having a blast with all the new fold she is meeting. You have to really think about what you wear on your feet when you are out there. Something with a good grip and beware of "slippy" parts . I agree with pondside - I think you will be kicking 2015 well out into the pasture and beyond. Take care.

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  24. Vom Regen in die Traufe ! A real bad time for you. My husband moves so much around while he sleeps, like a windmill and fell out of his bed nearly every night. When he hurt himself very badly at the bedside table I bought a barrier and fixed it on the bed. Now at least he can't fall out anymore ! You are so brave to cope with all like that, a "friend" of mine, when she heard that her husband had Alzheimer, went to bed and let herself starve ! She was saved in the last minute. The poor husband lost 15 kgs during this time. I wrote about this on my blog. Unbelievable ! She is 76.

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  25. Yes , there's something disquieting about suddenly realising that one's moved into Saga magazine territory . Never mind , everybody around means well . You'd better just keep them all happy , and accept every offer of help , till you're feeling better . They'll all love you for it !

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  26. Life has been busy for me this year and blogging has taken a back seat. I subscribe to you via email so don't lose track but haven't visited here in a while. I do enjoy your way with words and I am sorry you are having health issues. Your perspective on life and thoughts are always interesting and honest. I truly hope you both rally. The Internet is perhaps an odd source of "socialization" but I do care about you and I will add you and your husband tommy prayers.

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  27. when it rains, it pours, right? every time you think things can't get worse, they do. so sorry about your tumble. I fell on the concrete last summer, feet flew out from under me on a mat that was wet underneath. was afraid I had broken my wrist, grateful I had not broken my hip. glad to hear you are both steadily improving. re Beloved falling out of bed. my sister sleep walks and once she stood up to walk off the bed and got bashed in the head by the ceiling fan. most recently, she crawled off the edge of the bed and landed on the hardwood floor on her face.

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  28. Our prayers go out with you in them. The little things we gripe about become of no consequence when things get hard for real. Your frank discussion should help people be aware of things that are not planned for but do happen. Take care and get better!

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  29. Thank you for sharing this. It's so easy to sit on the pity pot. But you made me laugh. I have a friend and neighbor who keeps bringing us healthy food. Last week it was more sororal soup. My fault, I grow the stuff, at her urging me to buy it last spring. It will probably survive the winter too. You made me laugh, thank you!

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  30. It is really a hard time at your end as you are stuck in the ups and downs . Sorry to learn your social life is down but at least we bloggers are here to hear you and we do care.

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  31. It's a bitch, getting older. I know my husband and I look at one another sideways now and then, wondering if that odd comment the other just made was 1) an attempt at humor 2) a sign of senility's onset or 3) the result of the listener's poor hearing. Hoping things improve for you and your Beloved.

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  32. Ditto what everybody else has said. Here's hoping for more 'ups' soon.

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  33. Sometimes all we can do is keep on keeping on. Commiserations my dear.
    XO
    WWW

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