Tuesday, 29 July 2014

A Friend


Many of you praise the friends you have and how you would find life without them much less rewarding. You speak of the support they give, how they help out when there is need, how you enjoy each other’s company, the hours you spend together for no particular reason, just being friends.

I always say I have acquaintances, not friends. Being able to make friends seems to elude me, it’s not one of my, admittedly few, talents. It doesn’t occur to me that anyone would want to seek my company, although I am quite reasonably polite and not altogether socially inept. Just not madly forthcoming.

And yet, to my surprise, there are people here in Valley’s End who want to spend time with me, just like that. Not for any ulterior motive. Even an intolerant old grouch like me finds that gratifying. There was an Open Studio event the other day; a dozen or so of the many artists living here opened their doors to give the rest of us an idea of how they work (and perhaps sell a few pieces). Not only did somebody suggest we accompany each other on these visits, but I was also greeted by a few people I hadn’t seen socially for some time with warmth and pleasure. All most encouraging. Thank you.

o-o-o-o

My mac is going to a nice man  for a little bit of care and attention tomorrow morning. Some gremlin has moved in who greets me with a stupid ditty of “this is what you want, this is what you get” when I go online and he needs to be evicted before he does further damage, or invades other computers. I hope all will be well again soon.





45 comments:

  1. Like those who were happy to see you once more, we shall eagerly await the next time we can enjoy being with you here. Frankly, I relate very much to your mystification with the ways of the humans, though I am living among them more happily of late. Fond ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

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  2. ah! those nasty gremlins......good luck..

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  3. A true friend is one of the most valuable things in the world...people who want to be our friends because they enjoy our company. Such a wonderful thing :)

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  4. Excellent and instructive post --and one not easy to write about. I am very glad you met some people who want to make friends. My own friends have mostly wandered away. Some became drunks. Others moved. Some died. It is a great inconvenience. But how can I blame them when they couldn't help it? A few, however, became socially involuted, which puzzles me. I know some artists and will inflict myself upon them. I hope they will like me and have good luck like you!

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    1. It would be hard (no, impossible) to top this comment. However, if one leaves them self open, new things and new people will come their way. It is never too late to make a friend.

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  5. I also find friendship (and people) difficult. I do have some friends (in spite of myself?) and cherish them. I am glad that people are recognising the magic in you too.
    Good luck with the gremlin exorcism.

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  6. oy, computer problems...not good...hope that it works out of the system and that guy can fix it up...
    i have a lot of acquaintances as well...those that are fun to be with...but i do have a few i know i could call on
    if needed...

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  7. I think the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. I also think it is easier to make friends if you work full time. Instant commonality... Hateful boss....or something like that.

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  8. I have few friends,,,but good ones. Leo's illnesses were a great winnower.

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  9. Hope the computer survives the appendectomy! ;-) I have to say that I have friends all over the states, but I work very hard at keeping them by staying in touch with Facebook, texts, and this blog. And don't forget that all of us bloggers are your friends!
    Linda

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  10. I have an acquaintance (not friend) ;) who had that same "this is what you want, this is what you get” problem a while back and it was discovered to be related to SiteMeter, which I see you use for your blog. You might save yourself some cash by removing the SiteMeter code to see if it ceases.

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  11. It is nice for you to have friendly souls in your town. My friends seem to be those I met decades ago. Just like last week I met the French friend I had in Paris – we went to Italy 3 times together during the holidays (that was in 1950-1960 time frame.) She came to Atlanta – it was nice to speak in French. I hope your computer has just a mild case of gremlin mischief.

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  12. Yikes -- you don't hear of Mac viruses too often. Hope all is remedied very soon.

    Sometimes I don't think we know who are friends are until our chips are down and they pop out of the woodwork with the right word or deed. Nor do we know how we matter to them. But I'm delighted that you had the opportunity to join someone for the studio tour. Just wish that someone could have been me! What fun conversations we would have, though they would probably turn to the theatre eventually. Or the garden. I have to say I am fortunate to have very good friends indeed, but they have come with time. We nurture each other. Silly to say -- but it works.

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  13. I always find your take on life refreshing and honest, with no fluff. I wonder if others feel the same about you in person. Just wondering. I'm always glad to see you in my inbox. :-0

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  14. I also have few friends and many acquaintances. At times I feel left out, but mostly I'm content to doddle along as I am. My family is my greatest source of companionship. I keep thinking I should make more effort with friends, but I don't.

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  15. It is harder to make friends when you get older. Most of my close friends date from my youth -- childhood, college, early working years. I really treasure them. We moved to an "active adult" (over 55) community in Arizona from the Los Angeles area four years ago and I have maybe two semi-close friends here and I don't see them all that much -- maybe once or twice a month. So even though I have friends I absolutely treasure, they all live at a distance -- hundreds or thousands of miles away. There are three of these I hear from via email or phone daily -- and that keeps me sane.

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  16. Gute Besserung für Deinen Mac!

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  17. Well, I'm always drawn to your posts Friko, so that says a lot if you were to know me better. My blog doesn't reflect a lot about the real me. Anyhow if I were on holiday in the UK and saw you sauntering down the street in Valley's End I'd ambush you for sure. :)

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  18. Whether you intend to or not Friko, you do make me laugh. I am sure you have more people who wish to be in your company than you think. I enjoy your online company. You also seem the type of woman who one could say "oh cheer up Friko, nobody died" to, and take it in a good humoured manner, right?
    Di
    xoxo

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  19. Dear Friko - Your honesty have made me smile. I consider myself a friendly person but sometimes am surprised by a new acquaintance who calls me by first name “…, my friend” right after the first meeting. I think I have several good friends but can’t tell who is the best friend and I’d rather say I have some close friends. I wonder if I can say “I have some close acquaintances.”; is it correct English? I think best friend, close friend, potential friend, a friend’s friend …. would be called “Friend” depending on your definition. Anyway, I’m happy to be a part of your blog company though I visit you from time to time but don’t leave a comment so often.

    Yoko

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  20. Yes it is sitemeter. Uninstall and reinstall it.

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  21. Friends and acquaintances...we all see each other differently. I do not know if I have either. I think I have something somewhere in between.

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  22. I guess even old grumps need company... your "friends" that is.

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  23. ooo, sounds like you inadvertently downloaded some malware.

    I feel the same way, that I don't make friends easily. I think most of it is that I am by nature a loner and don't often seek out companionship. Plus I am forthright to a fault and a lot of people find that hard to take. Nevertheless, I have been invited to spend 5 days at a beach house with a group of women, none of which I know very well and a couple I don't know at all. should be interesting.

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  24. Although we are separated by an ocean, perhaps politics to some extent, and other differences, I consider you a friend. Unlike relatives, we chose our friends. I hope you keep on keeping on. I look forward to your missives. As John Wayne says in the film, True Grit...I like her she reminds me of me.

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  25. Friendship is something special - I'd say I have many acquaintances of long-standing. We have lunch, we walk, we chat. I find that friendship has less to do with time invested than with a recognition, trust - Montgomery said it so well when she had Anne refer to 'kindred spirits'. I think you are the sort of person I'd like for a friend - you tell it like it is.

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  26. I think at times you have an admirable lack of subtlety. Thing is, lots of people don't seem to admire that trait in others. What you are not, also, is a member of the herd. People claim to love that in theory, but in practice, not so much. You are not afraid to touch on the darker processes. I could go on, but I suspect you make a very good type of friend, but not a common one. An uncommon friend is a good thing to have.

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  27. "Just not madly forthcoming." That is perfect. I can't, for myself, much tolerate folk who are madly forthcoming. A bit of the curmudgeon, that's the ticket. Good luck with the mac . . .

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  28. It is really a mean thing to say, but it is amazing to find out how well liked I am since I have cancer. Everybody is popping out of the woodworks like they had always wanted to be a friend but were afraid to be so. I am not ungrateful because I need friends now. The worst thing in the world is to have cancer and be alone.

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  29. I don't have many friends in the real world so I'm especially grateful for my friends in the virtual world. I hope your computer will be okay. I had a virus last week and Willy Dunne Wooters very kindly spent an evening with me, plugging away until we found the monster and deleted him.

    Love,
    Janie

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  30. I do not know why people are attracted to me - is it because I speak my mind, or laugh a lot or still admire life and all that is around us. I am fussy about who I allow into my life. I have to like the person myself and I am not one for saying "Oh Look at me , I have so many friends". I do not, I have a handful or so. I have two best friends I have known since we were quite young. We live in different areas, and do not see each other like we used to, however; when the phone rings or they turn up in my driveway for a visit, they are always welcomed with open arms and hugs. I have met many different people that would like to be my friend because their friend is my friend - I don't think so. I highly value my handful of friends, I've had many of them for quite a number of years and yes, there is always room for one more. I have met some lovely people in the virtual world and truly enjoy their outlook on life and how they express themselves in their lives, in their part of this great world. Virtual folks are kinda cool too, as some live completely different lives from mine which makes it most rewarding to read about and expand one's mind. I so enjoy having met you Friko, I enjoy your outlook on life and your posts. I do believe we would very much enjoy a cuppa tea n biscuits over great chatter. Cheers and have a nice day :)

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  31. My whole life, I have been surprised to find that people like me.

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  32. I spent my childhood on the move, from one place to another rather quickly; and so while I am very quick to make friends, there are very few with whom I share more than a superficial bond. It's strange...

    Pearl

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  33. I moved 250 miles away from friends and family back in 1999 (except for my son). I dearly love my son, DIL, and new grandson--but my friends are all kept in touch with by blogging, email, snailmail, and telephone since then. Luckily I have been a letter writer since I was about 9 or 10 and got my first pen pal. Being housebound for almost a decade--it is mostly the internet and handwritten letters that have kept me connected...and I am so glad I have met several new online friends, too. I can picture people smiling warmly when they see you, lady!! ;)

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  34. I don't have a plethora of friends, but I have a handful whom I cherish. They have my back, and I have theirs. I tell my grandchildren - find one special friend with whom you can just be yourself. To be liked in spite of yourself is the great gift of friendship.

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  35. Hard and true this post. I do believe being in a partnership hinders friendships. I, solo, find it easier to make friends as I don't have that shoulder to crunch with my wee doings and secrets.

    But I am aware I can be quite a loner and am choosy who I spend time with as life is too short :)

    XO
    WWW

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  36. Like you, I feel nearly friendless. Sometimes I wish I had one or two at hand; most times I wonder what in the world I would do with them if they were hanging around.
    Your Open Studio event sounds like a nice outing.

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  37. Can so relate to this post
    and my computer acquired at age 70,
    what would I do without it
    and those I have met through writing
    and have never met in person.
    They are my friends at this time.
    Agree that at my age it is more difficult
    to make friends and all I considered
    so dear have passed on.

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  38. Friends are a great boon, but computers that think they're your friend, and "helpfully" trying to know better than you what you want to do are - well, as much of a damn nuisance as humans that do the same thing.

    (PS: I seem to remember being told Macs can't get viruses?!)

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  39. Friends just "happen" ... but then need to be cherished .
    Which makes it all sound hideously serious , whereas it only works if it's fun .

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  40. Frilko I am looking at your site for the first time and have laughed at your lovely take on life and wonderful turn of phrase and good humour. Plus all the beautiful poetry you have posted. I am sure you would be great company and not just on-line. I look forward to more posts from you.

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  41. Hi Friko - it is lovely to have one's company enjoyed - and then to share their company as you visit the various studios ... glad you caught up with some 'old' friends ... and I know the Mac is back .. cheers Hilary

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  42. I enjoy having friends like you. I like people who are "straight up."

    What you see is what you get. And I always like what I see here.

    =)

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  43. There are degrees or levels of friendship and i think most of us only have a few relationships in a lifetime which reach those deeper levels. Like Pondside I have many acquaintances of longstanding in the real world but few close friends, though I must say that blogging has brought a new kind of friendship into my life which is very rewarding.

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