Sunday, 26 December 2010

Was that Comment Rude?

After two years of blogging, did I have my first rude comment?

Maria Ethelle said "whatever bitches" in her comment to my last post. Just that, nothing else. 

I am sure it means something, but what? Did she (I assume it's a she) leave out the comma, as in "whatever, comma, bitches", using 'bitches' in the vocative case? In other words, calling the rest of the commenters and me 'bitches'?

Or did she use bitches as a verb, as in 'whatever being in the process of bitching'. In that case I can't make sense of the phrase because I'd need the 'whatever' part explained. Who or what is 'whatever'? To be able to bitch, do you need to be a person? If so, the 'whatever' needs to be replaced with 'whoever'.

Maria Ethelle, dear, may I call you Ethel? (Maria Ethelle is such a mouthful). I tried to access your blog but 'Profile Not Available' it said.  Don't be shy, dear Ethel, Blogger positively encourages us to forego anonymity. 

Or is 'whatever bitches' just a modern phrase the meaning of which escapes me?

Do enlighten me, somebody.

And if anyone else wishes to send rude comments, please add the explanation in a PS. Or point me to the right place in the dictionary. Otherwise you'd be wasting your time, which is surely not what you were doing anyway, was it?

PS: Is anyone else glad Christmas is over? No more for me for at least a year now, thank you.


  1. Whatever, indeed. Hard to know where or why, but probably not too much gray matter involved in coming up with that one.

    I know I am repeating myself here, but your Advent series was terrific, and I thank you for making all our holidays brighter (perhaps even "whatever's"). Also thought of you today as we braved the snow--finally arrived here--to see a terrific play called "Three Pianos." The play took as its starting point Schubert's Winterreise, and I recall the class you described where this was the topic. Wonder what you would have thought of this play--coming at it from quite an unusual vantage point, I will say. (Click here for a link to a review, if you're curious.)

  2. Re the "Three Pianos," looks like the link doesn't work, so here's the web address:

  3. A wonderful decision to leave the comment rather than deleting it. It helps to emphasize its rudeness and insensitivity.

  4. I just love your response to Estelle, I mean Ethel. She had obviously happened upon the wrong link. Being from the south, I do think her comment was ghetto slang for "I'm undereducated and lacking in synapse development, not to mention upbringing".

  5. oh !

    what an invitation to count the days already from now until next time Christmas will come; hopefully ending up with the 24th door to be opened up.

    Einen guten Start in die neue Woche dir.
    p.s.: vielleicht habe ich ja ein Bild von ihr gefunden, an der alten Häuserwand ;)

  6. My guess is that it's just another one of those stupid spammy type non comments that appear all over the place. They serve no purpose but to annoy. I like the way you dealt with it. Humour trumps stupidity, every time.

  7. Who knows? People can be so weird at times. Perhaps that person was just testing your Post a Comment statement: "Your comments are much appreciated, please say whatever you want to say. I hand it out, so I can take it." If so, I think you passed the test, as you seem curious and nonplussed!

  8. I'm feeling let down today. It might be the strong need for sleep, the exhaustion from working to make Christmas "happen" for a large family, or it might be the disappointment at lack of snow. But I do know that if I need a pick-me-up, I can go back and read your lovely Advent Calendar posts.

    PS: I like marciamayo's explanation!

  9. Hello Friko, and many thanks to you for each and every one of your Advent posts. As I've told you before, I did not read them day by day, but rather let them collect a bit and then gave myself the treat of reading your varied takes on this season.

    I have had a feast.

    Today some know as Boxing Day, but not many over here even know that erm. It is more of a day when the gods of commerce reassert themselves with additional pricice markdowns, etc.

    However, we have had a great Boxing Day treat this year, a true blizzard begain midday and will continue over night...two inches per hour. Even thunder and lightning for accents!

    I eagerly await the view from my window first thing tomorrow morning. And easily resist venturing out into the storm tomight iwht my camera. Toasty indoors, reading fine words in your Advent postings.


  10. Friko -- I can't even imagine why anyone would want to be rude or mean to you, especially about your Advent stories.
    The only explanation I can imagine is that she is in pain, either psychic or physical, and can't handle the joy of Christmas.
    I tried clicking on her name but it didn't lead anywhere, so she is probably very lonely, perhaps heartsick, perhaps physically sick. (I should feel sorry for her instead of being angry with her for attacking you.)
    -- K

  11. It does seem a strange thing to write, I don't understand it - she could at least have had an explanation.

  12. What a puzzle!

    Some people love to use the anonymity of the internet to take out their frustrations on others. Too bad.

  13. Friko, dear lady--I have never cared
    a whit about the Advent calendar,
    being reared in a "free-thinking"
    liberal household, but thanks to
    your big heart, and incredible
    imagination, I was able to enjoy
    every single one of the 23 days!
    Thanks for the creative impetus,
    for you set the scene and the season
    for hundreds of us strung out to
    every corner of this globe.
    By the way I think
    is a new rap group out of
    Detroit or Chicago,
    a lesbian rock group that
    are too bored to read literature
    and think spiritual matters
    have to do with potty training.

  14. no idea what that means but your other commenters seem to have a handle on it! always love your blog - its so sparky and bright and thanks for all the effort you put in over the christmas holidays x

  15. Wonderful. Most people would delete the comment. You invited her (?) to explain. I love your spunkiness! I too, have enjoyed your advent postings. I am sorry for the season to end... I love the family time and laziness of this season. But we didn't shop till you drop AND Christmas dinner was "catered"! My husband picked it up at 1:00 and it was the best holiday gift this year. I'm sure I will want to cook next year, but WOW, what a relaxing day it was. After 20 years of marriage, I have never said that about Christmas day!

  16. Bitching is indeed a verb and I expect Maria Ethelle is neighbourhood champion !

  17. Bitching is one of those words that, like Bad in the 80's has come to mean the opposite.

    Bitching as a verb tends to be something cool, radical etc etc

    So having read the previous post it's possible that she was trying to say "whatever does it for you" and not as an insult

  18. As in: "That tune is bitching" etc

    However, i can't claim to be, in any way, down with the kids, so who knows...

  19. I think 'Don't Feed The Pixies' may be right, Friko - that 'bitching' now has a reverse meaning. If I myself had written the phrase, however, I'd have added an exclamtion mark or a smiley, just to clarify there was no real 'bitchy' (in the prime sense of the word) intent. Though I'm no cool dude either, and have only just got used to the idea that 'bad' can mean 'good'. I'm tying myself in knots here, so all I can say is: 'Bitch on, sister!'

  20. I've got a feeling it was someone (a young someone) with too much time on their hands and maybe lonely on vacation just throwing out strange comments on everyone's blog they stumbled across...unless you have a stalker relative that doesn't like you. I remember as a kid when left alone, which was so rarely, we used to call up random numbers and then say something stupid like "Is you refrigerator running?" know the OLD joke.

  21. Gee, I probalby would not have published that but admire you for doing it. I'm sure she is somewhere just enjoying all the press.

  22. I like your 'let's add some punctuation and see if it makes sense' approach. It always pays to try.

  23. Weird comment. Was she taking drugs perchance? Some folks think they are so "cool" when they are under the influence. Don't let the comment rent space in your brain. You have better things to contemplate, and so do we.

  24. Friko - thank you for putting that post up. I think you've dealt with that comment in such a sensible, matter of fact way. Have a happy, prosperous New Year xx

  25. I suspect it was a random act, perhaps by an unhappy person, certainly by an inconsiderate one. Interestingly only one commenter really answered your question - "Don't Feed the Pixies" - but I think they're wrong. marciamayo and Glenn are on the right track. "Whatever, bitches" is American black slang. It can be said with ironic humor, but it primarily means, 'I don't care what you think', so yes, it is rude. Imagine the person saying it with puckered mouth, raised eyebrows and an index finger wagging back and forth.

    By the way, I liked that post very much.

  26. das ist so mit frustrierten Personen, die langweilen sich und damit sie sich überhaupt im Leben spüren, versuchen sie andere zu verletzen. Das geschieht dann natürlich anonym oder in der Gruppe, weil sie selbst über das, was sie sagen, nicht argumentieren können. Bedauerlich, wenn man die Welt so hasst oder doch vor allem sich selbst....
    (p.s. mein Blog steht wieder und das Gesetz ist verworfen worden - und jetzt wird es aber so langsam sehr ernst...!)

  27. Perhaps that individual received coal and rotten fruit in their Christmas stocking & generally views the world in that context?

    They are just a little pebble in the road...

    And we have your beautiful and thoughtful postings to savor - we are in a much better place!

  28. I read that comment and wondered what it meant. Your response to it is perfect! I too will be glad to see the holidays over and life getting back to normal. That having been said we had a lovely Christmas and are looking forward to a quiet new year's eve - just the two of us and a bottle of champagne with a few snacks thrown in for good measure.

  29. I have read over and over that comment and I, like you, feel there must have been a comma left out. What in the world? Perhaps she is someone who is really feeling jilted by the Christmas spirit. Glad you left it on here for us to ponder! You have a good sense of humor.

  30. Her dog, Whatever, was giving birth, and to her great surprise the litter consisted of bitches only.

    In her great excitement, she neglected both exclamation marks.

    Whatever! Bitches!

    We should be honoured she shared the great tidings on your advent post.


  31. Being from the States, I would tend to agree with Don't Feed the Pixies... I hear things like that often, and have been told they are a compliment.... I, myself, think one needs to take into thought whom they are speaking to as well as their own 'language' but that is often not the case here. I personally am totally touched by your words, and your willingness to question such a response rather than simply judge it and delete it. Maybe she will see this post and explain herself,

  32. I googled it, Friko, and it says "A woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go ahead and get it." I wonder if that helps...... if her website isn't available it could be spam, from a "p*rn" site, I got one of those over the holidays - not the same comment, but rather suspicious where children were concerned. Anyway, hope it hasn't unsettled you or anything, and hope you have had a good holiday.

  33. Who knows what strange things may pop up now and then. When comments are coming from all walks of life from almost anywhere around the world they often don't make sense to the reader. You have a fair question that perhaps begs (or only asks) an answer.

    As for Christams being past - at least I don't hear the same carols being played in the local shopping centers - till next year. (Is that a 'Bah Humbug' comment)? Grin. ATB! And have a very Happy New Year.

  34. I'm late to this - I shut off the computer on the 24th and have let it sit - but I'm not finished with Christmas. We leave the tree up until Epiphany on the 6th, and I enjoy the quiet evenings with the tree lights, a glass of wine and a new book.
    Poor Ethel. I think she may be one of those who has yet to find her niche - stumbling around blog land and going through all the wrong doors.

  35. Definitely seems rude and rudimentary. But I don't like to try into get into the heads of others...especially around Christmas.

  36. Wow, 35 comments on "Whatever bitches"!! Guess I'll make it 36 by saying that it's just a dumb passive-aggressive remark made by somebody who didn't bother to actually read what you wrote.

  37. super geantwortet auf diese provocativen "post". Deinerseits bist du nicht
    unanständig oder beleidigend gewesen und nicht auf das gleiche Niveau gesunken aber trotzdem
    hast du klar geschrieben, dass du um eine Erklärung froh wärst. Die Person versteckt sich
    immer noch hinter der Anonimytät, sonst hätte sie so etwas nicht geschrieben.
    "take it easy", nach so vielen Jahren des "bloggerns" gibts auch so etwas.

  38. Could it be some Asian or other foreign person who Googled something witty and received the wrong translation? Then since he/she could not read the words, placed them on your blog? I received a comment once that did not mean much and I went to the person’s blog. It was all in Asian characters – I could not tell from which country.


Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.