Thursday, 10 June 2010

A June Miscellany

Are you ready to sail around the world?
Bring your own sail,
the paddle is available!

and the living is easy.

June is the month of Plenty,
the month of roses and all
manner of beauty in the garden.

The beautiful and all-curing rose now beginning to bloom.
'The rose doth deserve the chief and prime place among all flowers whatsoever, 
being  esteemed for his beauty, virtues, and his fragrant and
odoriferous smell.'
Gerard's Herbal 1633


June might also be the month when I kill gardener.
He decided that some of the corpses
littering the garden after the winter frosts ought
to be burned before being buried in the compost heap,
in a fire basket close to my bed of miniature conifers
which have taken ten years to grow to their present size,

and just under the walnut tree.

"This stuff is so dry", he said,
"it'll go whoosh".

It did.

In case you were wondering,
this is not a black and white photo,
but the charred branches of part of the tree under
grey skies, mourning in sympathy with me.

Gardener also says 
"they call me the arsonist, because I never fail to light a fire".

Should I be gone from blogland in the near future,
I shall be languishing in gaol for murder.
I shall plead guilty and cite extreme provocation.


  1. Well, if you need someone to testify in your defense, or be the deciding vote on the jury, call me!! Such a silly act would justify your fantasized response. "Not guilty", I would declare.

    I hope your conifers recover from their injuries.

  2. I am always watching hubby in the fall when he starts his pyromaniac adventures. So sorry for the conifers. They were lovely!

  3. Or you could send your gardener adrift on that raft down a raging river.

  4. Oh dear -- a scene of destruction! But the rest looks lovely!

  5. Oh no! Was this arson his first offense? From now on (if this gardener has a future) you might just have to ask him to remove all fire making devices before entering your still green space.


  6. No doubt you will be fully justified. what was he thinking!

  7. It would appear that your gardener is not blessed with much common sense - when setting a fire don't do it next to dry foliage. We've had huge forest fires here in Northern Ontario and Quebec caused by such "ignorant" people.
    My month of June is one of plenty as well - in this case weeds which I haven't got time to hoe.
    Oh, and if they do arrest you because you've finally done in that ****** gardener - let me know which jail you're being held at and I will send you a cake with a file in it (lol).

  8. I bet they'll live, but they may look funny for a while. Is he contrite?

    It's certainly a landscaping challenge.

  9. If you are not already arrested...... I'd be interested if you lived in England long enough to keep a stiff upper lip or if your German temperament broke though.... ;-)

    Any more stories about Eva up your sleeve?

  10. Bonnie - thank you Bonnie, I may have to hold you to your promise. No, I don't think the conifers will recover, conifers don't regrow, but the yew might mend.

    Tabor - ten years, Tabor, ten years!

    Paul C - now there's an idea.

    Carla HR - common sense and gardener have never met, not in this life or any other. I'll try and get the relevant information to you as soon as I can. Make the cake dairy-free, would you.

    20th Century Woman - No, I'll bet they won't, not the conifers. Contrite? Sheepish, maybe. The sad thing is, I don't have another ten gardening years on this scale in me, so miniature conifers are out, they take too long.

    Vicki - well, the rest may do, but the miniature conifers were so much part of the plan.

    Frances - I shall never be able to leave him to work on his own again, not even for three minutes, which is all it took.

    ellen abbott - not a lot, by the look of things. thinking is not his forte, brawn is. So I need him, sadly.

  11. If I'm on the jury, you're not going to jail
    (I mean gaol)

  12. Not murder but justifiable homocide! Worry not the Walnut will recove as for the conifers um...well th least said the better.

  13. Tell Gardener: if the conifers live, he, in turn, may live.

  14. If you end up a guest of HM penitentiary service I will come over and offer you support - indeed, set up a program just for you.
    There is, after all, justifiable homicide, so you may get off!

  15. Hmm, methinks 'gardener' shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

  16. How sad - but what beautiful photos. Thanks for sharing them.

  17. Oh Friko - good job for his sake they've abolished hanging! We lost a lot of our little conifer trees in the winter too.

  18. Love that boat...
    hate that man...

    enjoy YOU :)

    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

  19. Oh NO! This is horrifying. Oh, I am so so so sorry. Man-o-man, did he really say that about the fire? Are you serious about ever allowing that gardener into your yard again? I think I would have strangled first, and asked later.

    Oh no. Is it your husband?

  20. You can blog from jail. They get access to computers, I'm sure. Yeah, guess there won't be so many of the garden pictures, but you can make cell bars look pretty interesting with the right camera angles.

  21. Oh, dear. I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but this DID make me laugh. What possesses these men?

    I hope the roses are okay. ;)
    Mine are in glorious bloom, too, and the bees are having a great feast.

  22. First - I about fell over when I saw that pure red poppy in your header. I have dreamed of finding such a true red. Just doesn't exist in the nurseries over here.

    Second - How tolerant you are! I'm glad you didn't shoot the gardener. I might have... :))

  23. Men and fires - isn't it a shame burning at the stake was abolished?

    Must add that the rest of your garden looks exquisite - a credit to you (and just a little, begrudgingly, to the arsonist).

  24. Lane Savant - alright, make fun, why don't you, just because I write proper English.

    ivy - sorry to disappoint you, I am totally anglicised. Eva will be on her ay back any minute now.

    H@H - I am so glad that you understand these things. Murder isn't necessarily murder on occasion.

    marciamayo - you think so, do you. How about setting an example to discourage others? Thanks for calling back.

    Pondside - there's nothing like having an expert on your side.

    Martin H - Oh Martin, he went far beyond playing with them.

    Freda - you're welcome, thank you for visiting.

    mollygolver - hanging's too good for him, how about burning at the stake?

    Cloudia - good! just what I needed. Aloha, friend.

    swallowtail - thanks for your heartfelt sympathy; I need the blighter, that's my problem. When he is closely supervised he's not too bad. Although I admit he has killed several other price specimen.

  25. Don't think we'll be baking a cake with a file in for you just yet somehow, but feel for you for the loss of your trees.

  26. Fran - If I could be half as funny as you, I'd be laughing. What's that? I WAS laughing, the snort kind of laugh.

    Bee - It's NOT funny! what am I going to do?

    Kate - if you want some seed, tell me. As for the tolerant bit, I have to be. No choice; he's cheap and works hard. Although, come to think of it, killing plants isn't cheap.

    mountainear - burning at the stake, a fitting end for the arsonist.

    Christ Stovell - thanks Chris, but I hope I can count on you should the need arise.

  27. Great pictures, I'll go round the world on the boat, that will suite me.

  28. ich musste lachen, Ursula, als ich Dein Post von heute gelesen habe, doch andererseits ist es aber entsetzlich, wie unverantwortlich dieser Gärtner doch ist ( ich glaube, soetwas könnte hier nie passieren ). Er wird doch hoffentlich die Pflanzen ersetzen?!
    Doch bleibt Dein Garten wunderschön! Ah, und der dunkle Himmel. Mir gefallen alle Zeichen des Himmels, dieses, mystisch und schön!
    Bis bald!

  29. Mike - it saves on petrol, but there's no electricity either.

    Renee - Gaertner wird die Pflanzen nicht ersetzen; so was gibt es ier nicht. Ich muss ihn bloss naeher im Auge behalten demnaechst.

  30. I can feel your temper. It would have been hard for me also. Sometime it is hard to be patient with people.

  31. Oh no.. you have a great jury pool right here. I'm so sorry. I would be in mourning for those beautiful trees.

    Word verification is wintnes.. so not even a real witness around here.. do it! ;)

  32. Vagabonde - fists in pockets, is what my mum used to say. make fists in pockets if you can't afford to let fly.

    Hilary - thanks Hilary, i hope I can count on you too.


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