Thursday, 20 May 2010

Sad Times

It's been on the cards for a while
but now it's official:
music will have to be locked in a box, never to see the light
of day, of concert hall, of salon again.

The enemy
made his presence felt long ago, 
his advance has been steady,
now the invasion is complete.

The war is lost, 
arthritis rules the day!

The Consultant said so: there is no chance of the shoulder joint being repaired to make any meaningful playing possible. What has brought pleasure, now brings pain: an occupational hazard.

Strangely, I am by far the sadder of the two us.


  1. du bist Musikerin?? Ach, wie liebe ich die Musik und meine "retreats" finden immer in den Konzertsälen statt. Ich würde Dich so gerne trösten, Friko ... Ich weiss von einer, so weit ich weiss guten Pianistin, die müsste jetzt 82 sein und sie hat, nachdem sie nicht mehr spielen konnte, Konzerte von hohem Niveau organisiert und tut es auch heute noch. Wenn ich ihr begegne, bin ich immer wieder erstaunt, wie jung diese Frau doch ist. Ihre "neue" Aufgabe scheint sie wahrlich zu erfüllen...
    Fühle mit Dir!

  2. Renee - nein der Musiker ist mein Beloved, ich bin nur Zuhoererin!

  3. A cruel blow, Friko. I remember when a family member had to give up painting due to failing eyesight. Sad times, indeed.

  4. Oh my - so sorry to hear this Friko. A huge loss. Your husband may experience and manifest his sadness in a different way.

    Did you read my first post of today about healing chronic pain (including diagnoses of arthritis) and certain illnesses. No guarantee John Sarno M.D.'s simple method would work in your husband's case, but it is sure worth a try for something that has been your life's work and companion.

  5. My brother can't play his guitar any more, because of arthritis in his fingers. Thank goodness music played by others still exists...

  6. Oh no.... I can, in a very dim way, understand how difficult this must be. I am so sorry, but if, as you seem to imply, he is taking it in stride, so much the better. Trite words, I'm afraid, but there's not much to be said that will help.

  7. Friko, I'm so sorry that your husband has had to give up his music, It's so hard when its your life. May another door open.

  8. Not much to say - it's a loss for both of you, but sometimes the loss is harder on the bystander - although that German word, Zuhoererin perfect.

  9. That sucks, as my kids would say.

  10. Loss is difficult, and life seems to be full of losses. But I hope there will be a gain of some sort through this as well. And the music will live on in your hearts.

  11. Loss is hard – loss of acts we could do and can no longer do is difficult for us – being unable to play an instrument, or in the case of my husband, being unable to drive alone anymore as he forgets the roads, or me being unable to run ever again as they never fixed the crack in my knee. My son-in-law’s mother, who is from the state of Kerala in India, has terrible Rheumatoid arthritis. She goes every year to India for a cure of ayurvedic medicine and it helps her to be with much less pain for the rest of the year she spends here in Georgia. Maybe something to check.

  12. Regrets to your Beloved for having to relinquish his bow. Did you ever record his playing? I still have a precious home recording of my Mother playing piano. From cassette to CD, preserved and still enjoyed.

  13. This is terribly sad, Friko.

  14. Friko, it is late now, and I am too tired to try for eloquence (if I were ever able to reach it.)

    I can only type... Rats!

    And promise to send you a better reply soon.


  15. Well done eulogy for "the music"
    but perhaps another window will open.
    My shoulders make long bouts of flute playing impractical..but I've rediscovered the Irish whistle of my youth and am rediscovering my discovery of playing!

    Best wishes to you both with Aloha from Hawaii

    Comfort Spiral

  16. It is a cruel blow when sometimes doing what we most enjoy leads to pain.

  17. Ageing can sure be a kick in the pants! This is doubly difficult if this was his career and not just a hobby! You are going to have to find some new creative path...!

  18. One can always make music.
    Django Reinhart lost two fingers on his left hand in a fire.
    Les Paul had his right elbow fused after a traffic accident.
    Two great guitarists.
    Hang in there, learn to play it with your toes!

  19. Thank you everybody for your kind and compassionate comments.
    There's no help, the shoulder joint is damaged beyond repair and the bowing arm is therefore pretty useless. If you cannot lift your arm shoulder-high, you cannot play a fiddle.

    Bonnie, it's the immobility that's the problem, not that there's a lot of pain.
    Vagabonde, it's not rheumatoid arthritis but the wear and tear kind; after decades of professional playing, that's what some players get.
    ER - there are many recordings of his playing,
    Lane Savant - I could suggest it, I suppose.

  20. That really is sad. I hope the two of you can find something else to bring you pleasure.

  21. I'm sorry to hear of such a loss. Music is part of one's soul and the joy of playing the instrument will be hard to accept but the love of music will be with you both throughout your days and nights.

  22. So sorry, Friko. That has to be hard.

  23. What can one say in such a situation except to offer one's best wishes that this enforced "retirement" will perhaps open new doors to your husband.

  24. How very sad . My husband has only ever played for fun and I know how devastated he'd would be if he couldn't play any more .Arthritis is a cruel foe .

  25. I can understand that you are the sadder of the two. He must have felt it coming and begun to compose his mind. Things creep up on us when we get old. There are more and more things that Jerry and I find we can't do as we approach the age of 80. But life is still full of pleasures, and we try to enjoy the things we can still manage.

  26. Thank you everybody for yet more constructive and encouraging comments. I dare we'll be fine. Have to be!

    CarlaHR - I wish i could contact you, I'll say thanks here, instead of visiting your blog.

  27. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that a new avenue will soon open to take its place.


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