Receptionist: Hello, good morning, may I confirm a few details first?
Me: Certainly.
Receptionist: Name? Could you spell that?
Me: Certainly. (I spell my name.)
Receptionist: That’s brilliant, thank you.
(Brilliant? It’s brilliant that I know how to spell my name?)
Receptionist: Address? Post Code?
(Again I comply, singing out address and Post Code.)
Receptionist: Excellent, that’s great, thank you.
(It’s excellent that I know my address? What kind of moron do you normally deal with?)
Replies to her question as to who my doctor is and which surgery I use meet with unqualified rapture on her part. She is beside herself in praise of my intellectual acumen.
Finally, she hands me a form and invites me to sit and wait.
I say 'thank you', as good manners require.
Receptionist: NO PROBLEM.
(What? Who said anything about ‘problem’. Of course, there’s no problem. Wouldn’t ‘You’re welcome’ have been more appropriate?
I’m next for the scan; a young man calls out my name; first name only, pronouncing my surname is beyond his capabilities. I walk into the room where the huge scanner lives.
MRI technician: you can put your bag over there, pointing to the floor next to a table with a small machine on it. I comply and look a question at him about where best to put my coat. He points to the same general area. There is no chair in the room.
Me: okay if I put my coat over the machine?
MRI technician: GO FOR IT.
Go for it? GO FOR IT? I am raving. Speechlessly raving.
Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI suspect they would be happier with txt spk.
My friend Sally says if you know your name, the day of the week and where you live you are ok. I take that to mean mentally competent.
ReplyDeleteJust this week aa assistant presented me with a list of EVERYmedication. Ant doctor had ever prescribed. Of course most of them had expired or were never filled, or were something I take when I visit the dentist! I said this is stupid, to which he replied, this is in case you forget something. I said, because I did not recognize some of the meds, but what if you forget you ever took something!
Friko, as always I find your post excellent, and not just because you know your address.
ReplyDeleteLaughing with a little bit of chagrin mixed in. :-)
ReplyDeletejust trying to be chipper I suppose to brighten your dismal day.
ReplyDeleteLaughing big time! You are brilliant AND excellent -- but not just for knowing your name and address. You hear this sort of speak a lot on a college campus. A little scary, isn't it. No problem is a particular pet peeve of mine!
ReplyDeleteHi Friko - clever too as you can make a blog post out of it! They are all so ridiculous ... but the floor seems to be becoming a regular depository - I've found that. One of my gynaes had actually noted in her notes that I was a 'good' sensible person ... even the next gynae duly confirmed and signed me off; so too the eye man ... but I really wanted out of the hoppital!! I got it!
ReplyDeleteHonestly ... you'd think we'd have learnt where we lived now ... glad you remembered .. cheers Hilary
A bit informal, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteThe proprietor at a café I used to go to (that is, I still go there but she has moved on) used to say ' no problem' when I thanked her for serving a meal that I was paying for. It really quite pissed me off, not that she meant it to. But what happened to 'it's a pleasure'? Or, as you say, 'you're welcome'?
ReplyDeleteHer "Brilliant!" is the more formal version of "Mhmm.." , I think .
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought the receptionist in Doc Martin was a wholly fictional character . . .
ReplyDeleteI am still calling everyone "Man" like a vintage hippie. . . . .The contemporary "Yeah No Yeah" gambit meaning "Yes" fascinates me. When in Rome, I try not to be a relic - and fail. But many younger people are kind. If a bit clueless, as I was at their age, Many of them are nicer than I was. This was a good post: got me thinking about my own life. Good writing, I'd say.
ReplyDeleteFriko, I've encountered all the expressions that you recount in this post. The cliche expression that gets me is Whatever. I admit to occasionally letting three syllables escape my own voice. Oh, the shame of it.
ReplyDeleteWhat does amuse me is that my current work colleagues include folks from many parts of the world, and also from many birthday decades. The youngest amongst us could be my granddaughter...if I'd ever had a child, and we love to trade slang from our own 20-something eras. I take it as a compliment every time I hear her spontaneously say, "Far out." And she does say it well.
Could I be her Higgins? xo
Or is she mine? xx oo
ReplyDeleteIt's exchanges like this that leave me feeling like some octogenarian Victorian.
ReplyDeleteAnd theoretically, medical staff use only given names to preserve the anonymity of the patient, but it still feels like unwarranted familiarity.
I find it utterly dismissive and so impersonal, you know everyone else is getting the same treatment. And I wonder how they react when something is truly worthy of "brilliant."
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
Haha, is this your audition piece for Grumpy Old Ladies? Seriously, I am not keen on being called out by my first name in public places. Mr... will do nicely. Once inside the surgery or wherever, I don't care what they call me.
ReplyDeleteWe hear this all the time. I know they hear the words, but they are not really listening to us and then come out with these outrageous statements. The one I hate the most is "no problem" instead of "your welcome".
ReplyDeleteAt least I now know that even in the UK these sort of exchanges are taking place. Is there a script that is now taught worldwide to those working in the medical field? Do we get these exchanges because younger people no longer know how to communicate if it isn't done via a text? I think there is some truth to the idea that the younger people are dismissive towards older folks, and they have few social skills. I have no answers, but I am at least feeling less alone in my frustration in dealing with those in the "service" industry.
ReplyDeleteThat was so funny...and so infuriating to be at the receiving end.
ReplyDeleteThe health service personnel here treat all the elderly (me included) with tremendous courtesy while they ensure that we have not lost our marbles...
Thank you for the laugh tonight, Friko. Here in TX I have heard "no problem" many times, and "go for it!" also. Interesting that the phrases make it around the globe. I'm sure we have the "social media" to thank for a lot of it. Also TV shows. I noticed some months ago this phrase "I'm good". This was said when a person was asked if she would like another glass of tea. Since then, I've heard it countless times . "Should I turn on the air?" "Would you like seconds?" " I 'm good," is the answer for SO MANY questions! I have heard TV characters use it, too.
ReplyDeleteIt is as if the language we grew up with is what used to be termed "archaic" in the dictionary!
Other changes I have noticed: The word "get" has been replaced by "grab". Let me "grab my coat", "will you grab my keys", etc. I find the fact that the word "take" has been completely replaced by "bring" really hard for me to accept. "When you go out, bring your umbrella."
I always enjoy your posts. The word "brilliant" does fit as a description of many of them.
Well, language evolves, whether we like it or not. Our great-grandparents certainly did not use all the same expressions as we do, and if you go further back, the differences become more marked.
ReplyDeleteIn Germany, thankfully, adults are still being adressed as Herr or Frau Surname at the doctor's. But other stuff I am unhappy about has been firmly established by now in German, a bit like "no problem" won't go away anytime soon.
Most of the time, I notice it and sigh only inwardly, but not every day is the same, and so sometimes it really grates my nerves when I hear or read "das macht Sinn". It's wrong, plain wrong, but has become fully accepted.
Friko
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog.
The "go for it" made me laugh. Such a constrast to the patronizing receptionist.
I think the MRI is that long tube people have to enter (I don't do western medicine) and
they are most likely a little scared. I would be. Perhaps it's their way of making people
feel at ease..... who knows but you made it into a wonderfully fun story.
Sorry. I would take these employees over grumpy, silent ones any day. We hear those same terms my way, too. At least I still know what they mean--LOL! Times change. :)
ReplyDeleteThere is something weird with this world...the local elementary school had a fancy banner up this fall. It said they had rated #2 in the state for Proficiency. Right next to it was a sign for their annual school fund raiser....a CHRISTMAS CRAFT BIZZARE! All I kept thinking everytime we saw it was Bizzare!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing at you! I realize that you are playing a tape that runs in my head, too, as I am told over and over again that I've done something "perfect" such as giving my name or address. "Perfect" is the new "okay," but that makes me wonder if sometime 50 years ago the geezers were rolling their eyes every time I said "OK."
ReplyDeleteIt appears that American television has invaded your country. There is no turning back. Not even Dr. Who can help you now.
ReplyDeleteSuch a troubling sign of the times. These days, just making eye contact is a triumph. At least you made me laugh, Friko. Later. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting, about that "brilliant." The only person I've ever heard use it is a British friend. The first time she used it, I couldn't figure out what in the world she might have meant. I'm still not sure.
ReplyDeleteThere's a fast food chain here (and perhaps there) called Chick-Fil-A. I don't eat their chicken, but they make the best lemonade in the world, from freshly-squeezed lemons and real sugar. When I go through their drive-in line for a lemonade, and say "thank you" to the anonymous voice behind the microphone, the response always is, "My pleasure." They're taught to do it, but who cares? The first time I heard one of them say, "My pleasure," I nearly wept for joy.
It's complicated to me to discuss in English, hearing these 'go for it' or 'no problem' (in a hotel or on phone) hope you can understand. I laughed, thank you Frico!
ReplyDeleteI would love to have seen the corresponding expressions on your face, Friko. Freda from Dalamory
ReplyDeleteI love it, the "brilliant" comment sounds so British. We have our own versions of it over here, always ending with "have a good day," or something to that effect. Hope all went well with the MRI.
ReplyDeletego for it is not acceptable advice.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but that sort of slang doesn't really bother me. Brilliant isn't usual here, but I certainly heard it in the UK. I think brilliant and excellent were simply to indicate a positive response to your answers.
ReplyDeleteAnd when I was young I thought old people lived on a different planet ...
ReplyDeleteThanks for today's laugh, Friko. Merry Christmas!
Where I live the receptionist would say, "Perfect." During the appointment I would also be likely to hear, "That's amazing" and "I know, right?"
ReplyDeleteLOL.. glad to know it's not only around here. I have always thought "no problem" to be the oddest response to most usages of "thank you."
ReplyDeleteLove the "Weihnachtsstern" in the picture :D
ReplyDeleteLOL - it sounds like for the general questions they have perfected their politeness in a way that makes it almost sound ridiculous....but sentences they haven't learned an answer to....they'll answer in teenage slang. A normal amount of being polite seems to become rare these days. Is it because it's not taught at home anymore?
Have a wonderful Christmas week :)
Hugs, Beate
You have shattered my simple beliefs concerning the superiority of British English over American.
ReplyDeleteFriko, I have missed you so much in my self-imposed exile from blogging. I hope the exile is temporary. A dose of your writing enlivens my day, whether i am nodding in agreement, laughing, tearing up, or having new experiences vicariously. Thank you, and may you and Beloved have many more holidays to tackle uncooperative corks and to enjoy your wine.
ReplyDeleteYou have excellent hearing and a very alert mind. All those comments would just roll by me without much thought. Perhaps living beside Buddy each day makes me a bit dense? I know my hearing has diminished.
ReplyDelete