I knew I would regret starting a week-long series of posts on positivity. It’s just not like me to go searching for 'reasons to be cheerful’, (as in Ian Dury and the Blockheads’ song), or ‘Looking on the Bright Side of Life’ (Monty Python and the ‘Life of Brian’) or ‘Counting my Blessings’ as the hymn tells me to do.
Don’t get me wrong, the attitude of looking at life through positive spectacles is to be welcomed; perhaps one needn’t go as far as Pollyanna and play the Glad Game whatever happens. Finding a pair of crutches in the Christmas stocking would make me cross enough to hit the giver over the head with them. At the other end of the spectrum, Ambrose Bierce in the Devil’s Dictionary writing off ‘positive’ as ‘mistaken at the top of one’s voice' is just plain unkind towards people whose philosophy tends to embrace certainty, tiresome though these people can be.
There have been plenty of good things happening this week, which ended in the first Sunday in Advent and with it the first pheasant dinner of the season: a live screening of Shakespeare’s ‘The Winter’s Tale’ at a local theatre, a pleasant meal at a cosy pub, some clothes shopping, and the poetry evening and beauty treatment already mentioned in the previous posts. Actually, it’s been an exceptionally good week. It would be hard to see it in anything other than a positive light. But these are not the cosy things bloggers praise when they write about appreciating humble, small joys. Heart-warming stuff, good stuff. For my week I needed leisure and a reasonably well stocked wallet. Bragging about it in detail would be bad taste. Of course, at times I am a smug git, but I’ll try not to show my true colours here.
I am profoundly grateful that I live in a peaceful country, that I am not one of the desperate people fleeing torture, bombs, destruction, hunger, disease and the horrors of civil war. Not for me the undignified queueing up on Europe’s borders, begging to be admitted to shelter, food, work, and a life free from fear. Not for me the fate of being called a terrorist, a scrounger, a welfare tourist. Winter is coming and too few European nations seem to be aware that help is urgently needed to prevent chaos and save lives. Although in the UK we are spared pictures of the footsore and shivering crowds making their way across Europe from East to West - compassion fatigue sets in quite quickly here, the subject seems to have been swept out of sight recently - I have access to European TV channels and find myself utterly fascinated by and unable to look away from so much misery.
Being aware of my good fortune and counting my comfortable little blessings seems almost shameful in the face of suffering humanity. Therefore, rather than listing a week’s worth of pleasures, small or otherwise, I shall try to emulate those of you who find unexpected joy in the moment and, if I think about it in time, perhaps share it here.
Friko, you have a priceless outlook on life, and it comes through all your words here. I too am profoundly grateful that live in a moderately peaceful country and in a part of it that doesn't make it seem too risky just to walk down the street. It does sound like you had a good week and I'm glad. Me, too. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe here on our island in the west are separated from the realities of what's going on in Europe and the Middle East. Today I'm grateful for a cozy fire throwing warmth across the room. In our tradition, the first Sunday of Advent reminds us to dwell in hope, and to bring hope to earth in place of despair. I think of those wanderers without warm fires and hope and can only trust that the little bit I can do will help.
ReplyDeleteDJan has hit the nail on the head! I couldn't have said it any better, other than that I always find you to be profoundly refreshing.
ReplyDeleteHi Friko - you put your thoughts into words so cleverly and clearly and all of which I concur with ... we are lucky - sadly many don't think like that and forget all the starving, cold refugees or immigrants wanting at the very least a home. The world is full of despair, but we have to hope and do our small kindnesses that will ripple out ... we need peace, we don't need dissent ... you offer us much to think about here and get our perspectives right. Thank you - Hilary
ReplyDeleteKindness can be shown in small ways and every day ...for example, something like saying: "Good Morning" ... is always a good start ... smiles ... excellent write, Friko ... Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteI think you said it perfectly! I love the way you see the world and I so appreciate your outlook on life. AND, I am very glad (oh no! That word! How about very happy) that you had a good week. Hey, with "Winter's Tale"and pheasant, I'd call it a great week. And I love your advent centerpiece.
ReplyDeleteI, too, can't turn away from the refugees and I am shocked and humiliated by the political rhetoric in the U.S. among candidates for leader, of all things, that seems so callous. I know something terrible will happen here -- and maybe from a rogue refugee but probably not. And to help those who need it seems a little more important these days. I admire your native country for its compassion.
We are indeed extremely fortunate to have been blessed with lives in relatively stable countries. What frosts my cookies are all the ingrates complaining about this and that during what promises to be a very long election season.
ReplyDeleteWe are truly blessed!
ReplyDeleteOn bad days I think about how there are so many others who have it worse. ;)
But then, I am one of those tiresome people--ROFL! :)
Sounds like you did have a good week.
I am shamed by many of the attitudes promoted by politicians/media/noisy voices about the asylum seekers/refugees. And my heart goes out to them (to the refugees not the opinionated).
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
Hallo Friko,
ReplyDeleteDu sprichst mir aus der Seele, dass viele Blogs ausschließlich positiv denken, oberflächlich sind und reine Schön-Wetter-Blogs. Positiv denken ist nicht verkehrt, aber ich versuche die Dinge eher realistisch zu sehen anstatt alles Böse und Schlecht schlichtweg zu übersehen. Hübsche Fotos finde ich auch toll, aber ab und zu muss mal was kritisches dabei sein.
Gruß Dieter
I think you are more cheerful than you give yourself credit for. You allude to it by saying that you don't have to count and record the cheerful thankful bits.
ReplyDeleteI'm so relieved you've set aside reasons to be cheerful. I have been
ReplyDeleteglum all day schlepping around in the rain doing holiday-related
tasks. Until now. I've put on some raucous music and read your post
and thanks to both am thoroughly cheered up. Oops I think that may
count as a reason to be cheerful, at least in Ian Drury and the
Blockheads style!
The world is full of so much beauty and goodness -- as well as so much ugliness and evil -- we have to be aware of both and not let one blind us to the other.
ReplyDeleteThe world is full of so much beauty and goodness -- as well as so much ugliness and evil -- we have to be aware of both and not let one blind us to the other.
ReplyDeleteOh Friko, I cannot tell you how many times I have thought of the tunes of Mr Dury, and of the Pythons when experiencing some unwanted intrusion of unpleasant news or a person's behavior. I admit that those tunes still give me a bit of a interior giggle, and help to provide a fresh page in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI do not express myself as well as you do, but am able to comprehend all that you've communicated. I guess I just try to give equal weight to occurrences that cheer or reassure me of happiness. Yes, it can be a struggle.
xo
A lovely post, indeed.
ReplyDeleteWell said, my friend. Sometimes, I too feel like it would seem smug to flaunt my blessings because I have more that most of the world could ever hope to have. Most of my problems are first world problems. Thanks for the reminder of just how blessed we all are. In the end, it is all about enjoying the small mercies we many times overlook.
ReplyDeleteliebe friko, entschuldige, dass ich mich so lange nicht gemeldet habe...! ich habe eine ganz andere art von einstellung, was dein thema betrifft. jeder ist anders und jeder hat seine erfahrungen im seinem eigenen leben gemacht und positives denken oder lustigsein kann und soll man nicht erzwingen. ich denke, das beste ist, man entspannt sich, soweit es geht und nimm dich doch so, wie du bist, denn so wie du bist, bist du gut! du bist als mensch einfach nachdenklicher und stellst die dinge mehr in frage, als vielleicht sonst jemand. was wichtig ist, ist sich zu schützen, wenn man zu sensibel ist und sich nicht zuviel in die traurigen dinge hineinzudenken. du machst das, was du kannst und gönne dir doch einfach ein wenig mehr frieden... was nützt es mitzuleiden, mitgefühl ist wichtig! ich wünsche dir einen sehr schönen ruhigen tag! renée
ReplyDeleteNow I have "Reasons to be cheerful" playing in my head - I suspect it will be with me all day. Steve loved his Ian Dury CD and often played it. I actually don't even know whether I still have it in my CD collection, or sold it after his death along with many other of his things I did not see the point in keeping (plus I really, really needed the money back then).
ReplyDeleteWell, you already know that I am one of those tiresome people. But I do not shy away from someone more critical or less optimistic (unrealistic?) than myself, and I really like the chance to see life and the world from a different perspective than my own. Your blog gives me that chance. Thank you.
PS: I don't think I've ever eaten pheasant. Is it worth a try?
DeleteOf all the things I envy here, the thought of that pheasant dinner tops the list. My dad and his friends were good pheasant hunters, roaming the Iowa corn fields to put the bird on our table. It was delicious, and still my favorite game, I think. I'm not so fond of duck, and can take or leave venison (except for summer sausage and backstrap), but I would enjoy a nice pheasant. Unfortunately, they don't live here, so I'll have to make do with a nice roast.
ReplyDeleteAs for those complicated issues of cheerfulness, gratitude, suffering, and loss: I have my own solution. While I may care about the circumstances of Syrian refugees, or those massacred in a multitude of countries, there's nothing I can do, directly, to affect their circumstances. On the other hand, I do have opportunity to deal with who's in my neighborhood, and what's happening here. Didn't someone once say, "I love humanity. It's people I hate?" I know a few who drip compassion for "them,' "over there," but who wouldn't lift a hand to help an old woman at the grocery store. I suppose what I'm saying is, start at home, enjoy what you have, and do what you can do. If we all did that, things might improve a bit.
I do love your Advent wreath. I have one that I bought in Germany many years ago now and this year was able to find some authentic German candles for it -- which I am very pleased about. The plight of so many struggling to find safe haven amidst so much determination from others, who have so much, to thwart them is on my mind a great deal -- especially as I have so much that is good and positive and easy. And I do envy you your pheasant dinner! I love it, but have never prepared pheasant myself -- it was a speciality of my late mother-in-law...
ReplyDeleteYou have done better than you think with your week of blessings, Friko. It leads beautifully into making us think in greater depth about the refugee and world situation, and I write on the day when it looks like the UK Parliament will decide to commence bombing Isil in Syria. Sometimes all we can do is to do the small stuff - and try to say the right things when people come out with prejudice and bigotry. Thank you for reminding me about the song Count Your Blessings, it reminds me of my Granny and I am working on a post about her. www.freda.org.uk
ReplyDeleteThoughtful words! What each of us finds to be thankful for certainly depends on our circumstances. Perhaps, just being alive is enough at times.
ReplyDeleteAs Joared says, just being alive is enough. I never find you smug. I'd say we share the same burdens and the same joys from time to time. Life is allsorts really.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
your last paragraph
ReplyDeletesays it all...
I sometimes wonder about the media footage...skeptic that I am I have seen both abject misery and in the next segment of news expensive designer jeans on overweight and very well made up women giving interviews of how hard it has been on them. Hummn it makes me disconnect sometimes. However I know I am blessed and I try to be less judgemental. The world is a difficult place right now. Take care and be well.
ReplyDeleteYou almost sound "Midwestern" viz. feeling guilty for feeling good when others are not feeling so. hohoho I know that feeling well. That is what being thankful is about - allowing ourselves happiness without feeling bad about it.
ReplyDeleteThat is a nice post, Friko. I too give daily thanks that I am not one of the many people we see suffering every day. We forget that even leaving aside their general plight, they are ALSO going to be suffering from the litle niggles that afflict us - a twisted ankle, people being nasty - as well as the larger anxieties - like why someone isn't answering a phone back home.
ReplyDeleteIn our youth we once faced similar times in Europe depending on how the war left areas.
ReplyDeleteYes now we are the more fortunate and I feel it and hope those struggling will find a way to a better time.