tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post7590706201448800936..comments2024-03-27T16:19:53.023+00:00Comments on Friko's World: Decisions . . . . .Frikohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-72748568357444808782018-06-02T23:46:05.453+01:002018-06-02T23:46:05.453+01:00Am catching up as am just returning to blogging si...Am catching up as am just returning to blogging since a long hiatus. Your questions are not boring at all — simply classic ones most spouses left alone must ask themselves, sooner or later - unless some health situation takes that from them. Then, others must make decisions for them. It’s been over a decade since my husband’s sudden death, so I’m very familiar with all the questions you Joaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03155775053108104385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-71044396026817794342018-04-27T21:55:28.254+01:002018-04-27T21:55:28.254+01:00It is difficult for anyone, deciding whether to mo...It is difficult for anyone, deciding whether to move on. SO it's not just you, by any means. Jenny Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16881781466502273314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-4359053365467471532018-04-27T14:26:39.301+01:002018-04-27T14:26:39.301+01:00do you have access to 'lifelines' or somet...do you have access to 'lifelines' or something similar where you where a necklace or wrist band that with a push of a button calls an emergency operator to arrange help?<br /><br />it sounds to me like you know what to do now: gather information and investigate. so often I think a decision is before me and I stress about it only to be reminded that it's either already made or the verykjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15122196887043345981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-12828818694632101432018-04-17T20:28:14.543+01:002018-04-17T20:28:14.543+01:00Guy at our drug store assured me aspirin is good f...Guy at our drug store assured me aspirin is good for 1 year after expiriation date. I keep it around for Isabella, my dog, in case she gets sore from inflammation due to too much walking. I am sure your neighbor will gladly oblige and slow down for your dog if made aware of the necessity. The conundrum you find yourself in is one shared by many and has solutions that will emerge in their own goodsuenosdeuomihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01674675232587257034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-27742323581330723472018-04-16T16:27:31.198+01:002018-04-16T16:27:31.198+01:00Dear Friko, after major loss a person needs at a m...Dear Friko, after major loss a person needs at a minimum a year before making any big decision. So please just be patient with your turntable of a mind right now. At some point, you will be able once again to prioritize and made decisions. But not now.<br /><br />And when that time comes, I'd suggest having someone come in to see what you could do to your home to make it livable for someone Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-17083343561191695492018-04-16T01:57:54.264+01:002018-04-16T01:57:54.264+01:00I too support the notion not to feel pressured to ...I too support the notion not to feel pressured to 'do anything'. Time will sort out what to do. Like Alice asking the Cheshire Cat which way she ought to go from here. Ur-spohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04237644452200889946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-90457464219531615142018-04-14T21:22:39.520+01:002018-04-14T21:22:39.520+01:00Take your time dear Friko. No reaction decisions b...Take your time dear Friko. No reaction decisions but proactive. I was proactive in my move to the city to independent senior living. Went on a waiting list as the location was so perfect, had some stresses selling my sprawl of a rural property but now I haven't looked back.<br /><br />I am absolutely thrilled that I did when I did what I did. But everyone is individual and your grieving Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-6205416508596789832018-04-14T19:12:41.031+01:002018-04-14T19:12:41.031+01:00I have aging friends who live alone in remote pla...I have aging friends who live alone in remote places. One thing they do is to have a buddy system -- someone to check in with by phone daily. That might be a good thing to do. <br />Vicki Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08114677510459055768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-18210273390598499292018-04-14T13:42:03.306+01:002018-04-14T13:42:03.306+01:00I always counsel patients to move slowly on big de...I always counsel patients to move slowly on big decisions after the loss of a spouse. It seems like it is still too raw. I'm sorry.Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-33359064946779338162018-04-14T04:01:16.449+01:002018-04-14T04:01:16.449+01:00Stay put and enjoy another spring and summer. I wo...Stay put and enjoy another spring and summer. I worry that Millie is not doing so well. It is too soon to leave. And call options are many now including wristvwatches that are phones. Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-57268984736008793632018-04-14T02:50:08.247+01:002018-04-14T02:50:08.247+01:00You sound much like my mom, friend Friko ... she h...You sound much like my mom, friend Friko ... she has had the same thoughts ... and after her lil dog "Ivan the Terrible" died, she got a new lil rescue dog, named "Doby" ... and I expect them to live happily ever after ... smiles and lots of love ... Always, cat.^.^https://www.blogger.com/profile/17422876955246850636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-17219059322454010402018-04-13T22:45:14.462+01:002018-04-13T22:45:14.462+01:00I am sure there is another widowed lady in your ar...I am sure there is another widowed lady in your area who may feel just like you, you could check on each other...and if the need arises help each other out. :)Far Side of Fiftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07995757632158408442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-45110012107540243942018-04-13T20:10:05.580+01:002018-04-13T20:10:05.580+01:00There's so much good advice here, there's ...There's so much good advice here, there's no need for me to repeat it. The Medic-alerts are good, as is having someone check in now and then. Make a pact with someone that the two of you will free to call at any time of the day or night -- there's comfort in that, too.<br /><br />What no one has mentioned -- or I missed it -- is Millie. After my beloved Dixie Rose died, part of my shoreacreshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16284698314697628805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-44746308513915757162018-04-12T22:37:09.223+01:002018-04-12T22:37:09.223+01:00My first comment disappeared, so we will try again...My first comment disappeared, so we will try again. <br /><br />I think what you are feeling and the questions you have about the future are normal, and I also think that most of us of a certain age have these questions. I know I do, and I have not lost a spouse yet. <br /><br />I think the advice of not making a decision that creates a major lifestyle change during the first year after a Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-39363426116671359382018-04-12T19:50:49.927+01:002018-04-12T19:50:49.927+01:00This is a familiar story. I have been thinking of...This is a familiar story. I have been thinking of someday getting a more managable house, but hubby will not even consider it. If has a heart attack out in the woods, I will never know. His hearing is going as well. At least he will die happy. Now if I have a crisis, there is only the ambulance, but having written that, our neighbor is a driver of one! My kids are both in times in their Taborhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15257045780724471840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-67732719592609074622018-04-12T19:28:32.715+01:002018-04-12T19:28:32.715+01:00It is always good to have information but it doesn...It is always good to have information but it doesn't sound like you need to move tomorrow and having a simple way to contact people in an emergency or check in with a designated person or two would probably relieve your fears. You are active and cognitively aware, so getting help to eliminate falling hazards in your home is also worth considering.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-36740164807526162722018-04-12T17:43:29.269+01:002018-04-12T17:43:29.269+01:00I agree it is hard to have to make all the decisio...I agree it is hard to have to make all the decisions when you have been used to mulling with Beloved. But there is still time for mulling! You have only had a year. <br />It took ages for me to decide the simplest things. But after a while, when I didn't rush it, the decisions seemed almost to make themselves and they were the right ones. <br />Give yourself time ~ and treat yourself rosyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10925232429071537555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-51644983599381387102018-04-12T16:06:10.190+01:002018-04-12T16:06:10.190+01:00Living alone my mom (89) has a medic alert/emergen...Living alone my mom (89) has a medic alert/emergency type bracelet and that gives her a lot of peace of mind. Nice to know if something really bad happened and you really needed help you can get ahold of somebody for an ambulance. She also has neighbors who check in with each other every day. I figure I will be doing the same down the line here. So far I am doing okay and can call my son and Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043285884495492598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-20375196073408686302018-04-12T14:44:13.844+01:002018-04-12T14:44:13.844+01:00Thank you for bringing us along. Because we are al...Thank you for bringing us along. Because we are all getting on. And because we care about you. <3Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-40774379862793632242018-04-12T14:18:18.569+01:002018-04-12T14:18:18.569+01:00stay put for now. no sense in fretting about the w...stay put for now. no sense in fretting about the what ifs. no sense in removing yourself from all that is familiar. you will know when it's time to downsize...when you no longer enjoy gardening, when the stairs become insurmountable, when it all becomes just too much. in the meantime, make an arrangement with a friend or neighbor to check on you when you haven't been seen or heard, to ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-22096035431241633452018-04-12T06:19:43.513+01:002018-04-12T06:19:43.513+01:00When I became a widow, I found decision-making eas...When I became a widow, I found decision-making easier than before, since I only had myself to consider and nobody else. But then I was in a very different situation; I had no reason to think about moving, only changing my work place (which I did eventually). Oh, and of course the strange decisions one has to make surrounding a death, such as choosing a coffin and flowers, deciding on where the Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-91464883113149041922018-04-12T03:07:12.404+01:002018-04-12T03:07:12.404+01:00I just recently caught a bug that I can't shak...I just recently caught a bug that I can't shake. I looked in the medicine cabinet and all I had was some cough syrup from 2015. Oops!<br /><br />Making a 'pros' and 'cons' list can never be a bad thing. xBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07886227825064266814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-90060211570073161192018-04-12T00:26:55.199+01:002018-04-12T00:26:55.199+01:00I can't imagine what you're going through....I can't imagine what you're going through. I think a lot about what I would do if Peggy died, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive, but if I did survive, it would most likely be because of the obligation I owe to our four cats.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-46489579360563591572018-04-12T00:10:06.455+01:002018-04-12T00:10:06.455+01:00As a recent widow I very much relate to missing ha...As a recent widow I very much relate to missing having my partner to make decisions with. About moving, not making a decision is actually making a decision, to make no change now. Likely a good decision. I have those same midnight (or daytime) worries; what if I collapse and can't make it to the phone. I turn over my worries to Jesus and he takes them all, I am glad to say. Whenever I ask, HeTerra https://www.blogger.com/profile/04396481049075747940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-7271831105454409962018-04-11T23:37:50.572+01:002018-04-11T23:37:50.572+01:00No one would say it is easy and I expect I would b...No one would say it is easy and I expect I would be wimping out at making such a decision, but don't be like my mother who has left it too late to move on. She has clung on to her home of 40 years and her next move will be to a hospital to treat whatever ails her at the time and then into formal care. You are young and fit enough to make the move now and go on to have a fulfilling and high Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com