tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post5013121416291129594..comments2024-03-27T16:19:53.023+00:00Comments on Friko's World: Having to Watch the Daily DeteriorationFrikohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-7185662429932495122017-01-18T06:25:02.850+00:002017-01-18T06:25:02.850+00:00This is so heartbreaking Friko. This is so heartbreaking Friko. Juliethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01542985048406828693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-64037559692664826682017-01-16T12:25:42.862+00:002017-01-16T12:25:42.862+00:00I forgot to ask...do you play CD or radio music f...I forgot to ask...do you play CD or radio music for him? Does that help?Taborhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15257045780724471840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-90021979135749961082017-01-16T12:22:42.084+00:002017-01-16T12:22:42.084+00:00Friko, so sorry. So sad. You are very frighte...Friko, so sorry. So sad. You are very frightened, I know. My mother-in-law survived a similar time with her husband until a doctor told her that her heart could not handle the stress and lack of sleep and so we put the angry man in a facility. (He was always angry even before the aging.) Then when she became senile she lived with us. We got a day care person because we both worked.Taborhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15257045780724471840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-35021946066530564272017-01-16T12:00:29.720+00:002017-01-16T12:00:29.720+00:00Ah, Friko, thank you so much for sharing here. It ...Ah, Friko, thank you so much for sharing here. It gives those of us facing similar situations with loved ones a glimpse into ways of coping. Sending courage and hope and gratitude your way.Paulinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14555472024981357622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-59691113957994576622017-01-16T08:46:31.351+00:002017-01-16T08:46:31.351+00:00Dear Friko,
As a long time follower of your so wis...Dear Friko,<br />As a long time follower of your so wise, courageous and unflinching sharing of your world I send heartfelt echoes of others' comments. Please feel supported and cradled yourself in this Alice like time of free-fall as you seek to gain peace for your beloved soulmate.<br /> <br />On a practical note, can't help adding the speed his decline does warrant excluding possible Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18345445372251269859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-53494555114685243632017-01-16T01:32:10.781+00:002017-01-16T01:32:10.781+00:00friko, how i wish i could help. am i reading corre...friko, how i wish i could help. am i reading correctly that you will be seeking a nursing facility, what you call a care home? i hope you may find one that is as kind and caring as you will need to consider your beloved's transfer there. my mother finally entered such a program and it was a heartbreak until i realized she was alright and i was better able to handle her needs and my needs too.kjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15122196887043345981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-64551975330582286512017-01-15T18:04:04.347+00:002017-01-15T18:04:04.347+00:00"Where are my shoes?"
...because he’s o..."Where are my shoes?" <br />...because he’s on for Wagner or a ballet, or a concert at the Albert Hall...<br /><br />He remembers the music? ...<br /><br />This is sooo sad...<br />Yaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12693182864758766065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-40146335492768422192017-01-15T17:01:56.641+00:002017-01-15T17:01:56.641+00:00It is so hard. So hard. I know everyone here had t...It is so hard. So hard. I know everyone here had tragedy slide through their lives. I know many of them, and their sorrows. You go through it, then you know the way to the end another time, and can offer support to the next novitiate. Take care of yourself.Joanne Noragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16601010208310707750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-12847466059756953712017-01-15T16:36:42.204+00:002017-01-15T16:36:42.204+00:00I hope you can have compassion and concern for you...I hope you can have compassion and concern for yourself as well as beloved and let the carers do what they can for you both. Sending hugs!ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-61774972996170946232017-01-15T14:44:51.710+00:002017-01-15T14:44:51.710+00:00life is so different now. so sudden it seems, so ...life is so different now. so sudden it seems, so swift. so irreversible. and frustrating. and hard. and yes sometimes you yell at him but it's understandable. we are all human so please have some compassion for yourself. as much as we may want to do or care for someone, it is not always within our abilities. we must rely on the care and help of others. even so you are not abandoning ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-37274086850382659952017-01-15T13:40:45.056+00:002017-01-15T13:40:45.056+00:00Yes, asking for a kiss, makes it even harder.
My p...Yes, asking for a kiss, makes it even harder.<br />My prayers go out to you..My Journey To Mindfulnesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15743386000772274656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-37067034655132284452017-01-15T05:50:38.976+00:002017-01-15T05:50:38.976+00:00The last line says it all. A kiss. And that is wha...The last line says it all. A kiss. And that is what makes this ever so much harder. Hugs to you. You are being brave.<br />Please continue to share. Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-68840928859138191892017-01-15T04:32:13.712+00:002017-01-15T04:32:13.712+00:00I remember loosing my patience with my mother and ...I remember loosing my patience with my mother and how horrible I felt afterwards. My heart goes out to you. Take it one day at a time. Gerlinde de Broekerthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06174961875518661639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-43491178912048194292017-01-15T02:01:49.577+00:002017-01-15T02:01:49.577+00:00We try to reach out with words to comfort or suppo...We try to reach out with words to comfort or support, but only come up with lame and useless ones. <br />Get help with the care taking; and let others provide support. Ur-spohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04237644452200889946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-44071832469368002542017-01-15T01:36:01.572+00:002017-01-15T01:36:01.572+00:00It is good, at least, that you have been able to m...It is good, at least, that you have been able to marshall the carers, and may they be forthright, decent, and serve you both well. You are both in our thoughts, with much love.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15674930917585246294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-48228669429590123092017-01-14T23:14:04.257+00:002017-01-14T23:14:04.257+00:00Oh, my heart goes out to you! I can only imagine ...Oh, my heart goes out to you! I can only imagine what a muddle of emotions must course through you from one unpredictable moment to another. My first hand experience with individuals who have your husband's medical issues has been in facility settings. Can appreciate how staff has had to assist them and loving family members/friends of the person cope, even becoming frustrated even in thatjoaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09999395062839739698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-40724953595900464472017-01-14T22:31:20.007+00:002017-01-14T22:31:20.007+00:00I am so glad they sent people out right away! I r...I am so glad they sent people out right away! I really hope that they can find a good place for him that is close enough for you to visit him frequently. You can't take care of him by yourself. Having people there will help, but if he was in a care facility you could at least sleep at night and not be afraid he will wander off. One person can't watch someone 24/7 and they do get to Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043285884495492598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-78303212962751371262017-01-14T20:36:36.437+00:002017-01-14T20:36:36.437+00:00I'm crying over that last line. Actually, the...I'm crying over that last line. Actually, the entire situation is so heartbreaking. Thanks goodness you and Dr. Wendy raised Cain. Oh Friko. This all so very sad. I'm grateful in someways he doesn't have to fully realize this terrible decline, but if only you didn't have to experience it. Hope and help appear to be on the way. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-77119163863229284622017-01-14T17:33:18.573+00:002017-01-14T17:33:18.573+00:00Good for Dr. Wendy. Listen to her. (I know you are...Good for Dr. Wendy. Listen to her. (I know you are). And remember, if you end up venting at him in frustration, chances are he won't remember an hour later. Not that you should do that as your norm, but if you do, don't get the guilts. Sorrow is tough enough without the guilts.Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-57231016332344070272017-01-14T17:06:36.160+00:002017-01-14T17:06:36.160+00:00Dearest Friko, When I went through this with my Fa...Dearest Friko, When I went through this with my Father I finally realised that, for me, the worst part was that there was no good outcome for which to hope. He did spend his last long months in a specialized Dementia/Alzheimer's care facility. The careers were angels. I saw many goodnight kisses, as well as Hello and other random kisses, given to the residents. They also had a wonderful chef English Riderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01712384532126551307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-54441224715341813862017-01-14T16:55:45.469+00:002017-01-14T16:55:45.469+00:00So sorry things have got to this stage, but thank ...So sorry things have got to this stage, but thank goodness your GP is fighting your corner and there is at least some additional professional support.Autolycushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17642868944400656922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-82664407023561065182017-01-14T15:03:24.445+00:002017-01-14T15:03:24.445+00:00Good grief. Yes, they want a bedtime kiss, just l...Good grief. Yes, they want a bedtime kiss, just like the old days. Sad to hear you are going through this. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-51988522446524802352017-01-14T15:02:07.076+00:002017-01-14T15:02:07.076+00:00So trying for you Friko, but nice to get a small g...So trying for you Friko, but nice to get a small glimpse of the old him at the end of the day...mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797484583400519909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-63421690291924616832017-01-14T13:58:10.936+00:002017-01-14T13:58:10.936+00:00I wish and pray and send forth wishes for your str...I wish and pray and send forth wishes for your strength and for you to have help, in any and every way possible. You are surely exhausted in every way, Friko, and I'm sure sleep is never complete. Penny O'Neillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14665025558373015362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1294026230680025155.post-69425725836403737522017-01-14T13:55:51.941+00:002017-01-14T13:55:51.941+00:00Dear Friko, may I add my love and admiration for y...Dear Friko, may I add my love and admiration for you to what others have already written much more eloquently. xoFranceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352407314710067616noreply@blogger.com