Friday, 1 January 2021

Is it over?

 really and truly, is 2020 finally over?

The last few months have been a struggle for me, physically and mentally, but I am working hard to put it all behind me.

Those of you who have emailed and asked questions, thank you very much; I am touched by your concern for me. I am sorry that I simply couldn’t rouse myself to reply and reassure you that, yes, I am alive, but, sadly, it felt more like existing in a lonely vacuum.

Is 2021 going to be any better for all of us? I don’t know. Soon we may have the vaccine on tap to make at least one problem bearable; what is going to happen politically is still uncertain. In Julius Caesar, Shakespeare put into the mouth of Mark Antony: “The evil that men do lives after them, the good is often interred with their bones.”

I know I can do nothing to change the world on a grand scale; perhaps you think, as do many others, that I shouldn’t ‘let it get to me’ to the extent it did, but it did. Solitude and fear of falling ill with the virus didn’t help. I knew that the black dog would catch up with me as soon as going outdoors and working in the garden became only very occasional pleasures. All I can try to change is my attitude to the world as it is and maybe do some good in my own, tiny, sphere.

I sincerely wish all of you a Happy New Year.



43 comments:

  1. I (and many others) am glad that you have surfaced, Friko. I have no doubt that you have been in a dark place, and dealing with that alone is especially cruel. There are many wonderful friendships that are developed through blogs, but great frustration arises when someone needs help and it is impossible to be there for them. The very internet that connects us also reminds us that we live on different continents. If it is of any small comfort please know that everyone is rooting for you and anxious to benefit again from your elegance and wit. The vaccine is on its way, and while there is no instant panacea in sight, we can hope that by mid summer we will at least be able to socialize again. Stay strong if you can!

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  2. So glad to hear from you again. Yes, it's so difficult and lonely coping alone, especially in older age. I have that situation, too, and I feel for you so much. But the light in every sense will return.

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  3. Echoing everyone else. I am glad that you have been able to muster the energy to let us know that you are still with us. I am so very sorry that life has been so tough for you.

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  4. I stop by regularly hoping to see you posting. I am delighted to see you doing so.
    I too wish you well and wellness in this new year. Hugs !

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  5. Glad to hear you are okay, Friko.

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  6. Thank you for posting!! I missed you. It is an important medicine you have been missing, being outdoors, moving about in the garden, etc. I have been making drives to the beach to walk in the sand, and it helps my attitude immensely.

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  7. Best New Year wishes to yourself. Fingers crossed for 2021.

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  8. I was happy to see your blog appear on my side bar. So many of us have placed a lot of hope in 2021 being the beginning of the end the pandemic and what's it's done to our world. It's going to take time to turn things around so hang in there! You are not alone.

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  9. Happy New Year! Hope you get your mojo back!

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  10. Glad to know you are still here and sending hugs.

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  11. Just these days I was thinking of you, realising that I had not seen a new post from you on my blogger dashboard in a long time and wondering how you are.
    The advice of not letting get things to you - well, it‘s easier said than done, isn‘t it. Now we have reached a new year, but so many things remain uncertain and problems unsolved. Still, as you say, there is little we can do on an individual scale. It is always possible, though, to do something in our own tiny sphere.
    All the best for you for this year, Friko! By the way, love the picture of the evening sun on the Rhine.

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  12. Friko, I am very glad to see your new post on my blog. I was rooting for you, dear. I really hope that the new year 2021 will be better than the previous one. Be careful, a vaccine is just around the corner.
    Happy New Year!

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  13. I believe the weather has a lot to do with how one feels. In a warm country, it's easier to be alone, go out, enjoy nature. In a cold, wet place it adds a burden on everything else.
    Wishing you the very Best in 2021, Friko!

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  14. Oh it’s been a bugger of a year hasn’t it Friko! Great to see it gone, and hopefully with it many of those worries that sent some us down that deep hole. I dug mine mid year and it took a little while to come back up to the surface but now I’m up I’m intending to stay up never to descend to that low point again.
    We have the light at the moment- Your days will be getting longer soon - then it will be time for you to shine......and smile.

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  15. So glad to see you on my reading list. Really sorry that the year and all the darn misery got to you. Me too. I think the thing that disturbs me the most is what it is doing to people. Politicians behaving badly and people being cruel or thoughtless to one another. Too many times a day I will read a story and think, what is wrong with people? Then I will read about people who just poke disaster in the nose and do great, giving things. They keep me out of the depths and thank God for them. Keep staying safe.

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  16. I echo the thoughts of many of your followers. I'm glad you hear you are safe and dealing with the cloud that covers most of the entire world right now. We are going to have a better year, I have no doubt. I am stubbornly remaining optimistic. :-)

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  17. I’ve always enjoyed your blogs. They make me feel so not alone at times and that someone feels like I do in some ways. We are all in this together and strangers sometimes get it better than friends..
    Stay safe and spring is on the way soon

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  18. It was so good to see your post this morning. I've noted your absence, and worried about you. From time to time, I've become slightly irritated with the officials who advise us to "socialize only with those within our households." Their obliviousness to those who live in a household of one is obvious, and for you and I, without even our beloved animal companions now, it's an especially lonely time.

    I've avoided the worst of it because of our moderate climate and my outdoor work. But however gloomy January and February may be, we are on the way to springtime. Here's to more sunshine and more growth for us all!

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  19. The black dog has come into so many of our lives this year. Know that you are not alone and the majority of people in this world are feeling the same anxiety, sadness and loneliness. We now, though, can see the light in science and that brings hope that there may be an end to this.

    Just seeing your post and knowing that you are writing again lifted my mood. Take care, dear lady, spring is coming. I started planning my gardens yesterday and looked at seed catalogs for what is new this year. I am getting through one day at a time and looking forward to better tomorrows.

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  20. Good to hear from you. In my own case, I feel like I've been running a marathon and I'm just about to hit the wall. So 2021 BETTER be an improvement over 2020!

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  21. I don't suffer from depression but I do have to deal with stressing out over the political situation coupled with the virus. I'm fortunate to live is a rural area where the weather is such that I can get out most days in the yard. I have an appointment on the 16th for my first vaccine shot. Texas is one big hot spot and our governor is an idiot but at least the healthcare system in which I am enrolled is on it.

    2020 has just been a horrible year. and not just the virus but the cumulative effect of Trump. there will be violence in the streets before Biden get inaugurated and Trump is encouraging it.

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    1. I’m in Florida and we have an idiot governor too. Less doses no organization. Jan 6th suppose to be a violent day....how did this happen in America. It’s heartbreaking

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  22. So happy to see your post and glad you are back. So many are suffering from depression and are unaware. The issues seem overwhelming, don't they? Take care of yourself.

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  23. 2020 has been a very distressing year. One minute everything feels as if it is beginning to improve, and then in the blink of an eye things go backwards. For you being on your own it is far more difficult than it is for those of us who are not.
    We all need sunshine, warmer weather, spring flowers, blue skies and above all the reassurance of the vaccine in all of our arms.

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  24. Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2021, friend Friko. Sending love, cat.

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  25. Hi Friko - so good to see this ... I was going to ring next week. But I'll come back and reply tomorrow ... just so glad you're ok. Til tomorrow - Hilary

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    1. As everyone says it's good to see a post ... life has not been easy - we've been relatively lucky down here, and I'm fortunate I have good health and don't suffer ... except the occasional 'oh misery me'! I do hope you can find ways to keep the black dog at bay ... and I often think of you - let's hope we have an early Spring ... with thoughts, love and a hug or two ... take care - Hilary

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  26. I hope your commenters have cheered you up as you have for us. Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of the “toxic positivity mongers” I come across. I just need to feel grumpy when I am grumpy!
    Cheryl in Colorado

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  27. I am so glad to see a post from you, Friko. Yes, 2020 was a terrible year in so many ways, and I have hope that 2021 will be better. For you, I hope the black dog is suppressed. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2021.

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  28. Glad to hear you are okay. I went into the doldrums with the black dog, as you say, for a couple of months before our election over here. Been pulling myself out of it. Being alone and knowing my hungry cat would partake of me should I get sick and die...doesn't help--LOL! With politics and covid and everything else it can "get to you"--yes! At least this year we have vaccines for covid that will eventually get around to the populus. May take all year, but it gives me hope. And we will have the orange man out of office whether he likes it or not--LOL! Things always change. Hang in there.

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  29. Friko, welcome back! I have to admit that I've been rather slow in my blogging lately. So much... and yet so little going on. People dying from Covid, people sick with Covid, numbers going up, up, up! And here we sit alone for the most part in our houses avoiding contact for fear of getting sick and/or getting others sick. It's been a trying year... more so for some than others... but trying just the same. And then there's the political craziness that makes one wonder what is wrong with people?? We can only hope and pray that 2021 will be better. Stay the course!

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  30. Nice to see your note. Yes, 2020 has not been an easy year and no one regrets its passing. For me I don’t think 2020 will be over until I can see the results of the Georgia senate runoff election. Hopefully things will be looking up for everyone in 2021. Warmest wishes to you Friko.

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  31. I am glad to see your post and hope that you feel better soon. It’s been a long haul and we all are tired of it.

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  32. Thank you for surfacing, battling on and going with the flow is all any of us can do especially those of us whom the black dog visits. I remember well over the years that winter is not a good time for you U. Better days will come, we just have to wait their arrival. X

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  33. I'm so glad you are back, Friko. It was blogs that kept me out of the dark place, even if the post was only a photo or quote. It's been a tough year and I don't believe it is over but I do believe -- for the first time in a long while -- there is hope. Please hold hope close to you in the new year.

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  34. The Black Dog has made many visits in 2020. Welcome back to The Land of Blog, the Community here is a Support Network that sustains while we might be silently struggling otherwise. A lot of chaos and uncertainty takes a heavy toll over time. Virtual Hugs and Happy New Year!

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  35. Dear Friko, it was so good to see this post from you!! I have been 'down' also, gardens overgrown, living alone, then I stumbled and fell and sprained my right wrist on the 19th of Dec. Swelling is gone as is the neon bruising from knuckles to halfway to elbow but it still hurts like heck. Sprains take awhile to heal. I've been reading a lot and watching a lot of you-tube videos, movies, documentaries, gardening, all sorts of things to keep my mind focused on happier things. I also read my Bible and other spiritually encouraging books and pray.

    Hang in there Friko you have a loving bunch of followers who love and care about you around the world. We will get through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers, from Florida USA ~ FlowerLady

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  36. Yes, indeed, 2021 has GOT to be better than the year just passed. May it be so, and I am wishing for you the earliest possible spring, so you can be in your garden ASAP.

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  37. So far behind on comments. Clearly the Blog world loves you. Wondering if you will get dow to this post at all? I can totally understand how being alone you do not have someone to bounce your feelings off of (yes ended with a preposition) but are there people you can call or visit via the Internet. Even those not super close would be a solace to remind you that you are not alone? Also your love of music...keep the good upbeat music in your life while you write a letter to someone. Maybe back for a nearby neighbor. I find if we do something for others, it helps us realize we have purpose. We all have hated 2020. We all are kicking it out the door.

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  38. Good to see you've posted, Friko. May 2021 be a better year for us all! Gesundes neues Jahr wünsche ich Ihnen! x

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  39. Glad to see you're surfacing again ... once we're in February this grey gloom will have gone for another year. Just three weeks...

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  40. I'm with you - I have just sunk into myself a little of late. And yes, 2020 is over but 2021 has not had an auspicious start in my country. Trying to stay hopeful..

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  41. The thoughts we have, the words we tell ourselves, then sometimes the chemical changes occurring in our brains, sometimes the weather and surrounding environment among other things can all conspire to affect our state of mind. I do hope you'll find your way through all you're experiencing. Glad to see you found your way to the keyboard.

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Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.