Wednesday 9 November 2016

Keep Breathing

on this grey and dismal day. That’s about all we can do.

“Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.'

I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. *

We had Brexit not so long ago, Although, in the scheme of things, Brexit isn’t on a par with what happened yesterday, the immediate impact on this side of the Atlantic was tremendous. Even for the winners. Impossible things seem to happen more and more and leave more and more people shell-shocked.

‘What I tell you three times is true.’ **

The morons are on the march everywhere.

Which reminds me of a story my foot health practitioner told me. She also works as a telephone operator for the WM Police - privatised, of course - and takes calls from sometimes desperate, sometimes urgent but mostly daft callers; some get passed on, for others there’s advice, yet others make no sense and are beyond help. This story is actually quite sad, as well as hard to believe, but true.

“Hallo, my car seems to have disappeared from where I left it.”
“Oh dear, I am sorry, may I take some particulars?”

Particulars, like name, address, car registration etc, duly taken, the operator continues.

“You are certain the car was parked in front of your house?” The caller is a lady in her 80s, the assumption that she might have been mistaken is not completely unlikely.

“Yes, I always leave it there. I had come in from shopping. A friend called and we chatted and when she left I saw the car was gone.” It was in the evening - grocery  shops are open late in the UK.

The operator remains calm and friendly. “I take it you heard nothing. Presumably the car was locked? The thief had to break in?”

“Oh no,” the old lady said, “I always leave it open. That’s what I do. It sits just in front of my house, you see.”

“Ah, you might have a problem with your Insurance then. Where was the key, did you take it in?”

“Oh no, I always leave it in the ignition, that’s what I do, you see.”

There is no way the operator could say 'you silly old bat’; she has to remain calm and concerned and keep breathing. And probing.

What else was in the car, anything else that could identify it as your property? I will be putting a general call out right away and the more details we have the better.”

“Well, there was my shopping, I hadn’t had a chance to bring it in. And, of course, my handbag, on the seat in front. Where I left it when I came into the house with my friend. I’ve done that before and nothing happened."

The operator remained totally professional. “And what was in the handbag, your purse maybe . . . . “

“Oh yes, my purse with some cash, my cards and bits and pieces like that.” The old lady paused and repeated what she had said several times before. “It’s what I do, you see. It’s what I do.”




*Alice in Wonderland
** The Hunting of the Snark

by Lewis Carroll

40 comments:

  1. Lewis carroll had quite a few quotes that are relevant for today's news.

    Poor old lady. She comes from a more trusting age, although quite honestly I'm not sure that people could have been THAT much more honest even 60 years ago!

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  2. "The morons are on the march everywhere."

    It's good for a laugh even here in the United States of Morons.

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  3. The White Queen's advice is essential for anyone thinking of living full time in France....

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  4. What a dear you are, Friko. The Alice books were early favorites of mine, and I keep trying to get my Mom to mail my old books to me. I must try harder.

    Hoping to sleep better tonight than last night, but no guarantee. All sorts of scenarios reveal themselves to my resting mind. xo

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  5. Oh my. An exasperating but gently sad story.

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  6. Maybe her car disappearing is a good thing. Seems like she needs some supervision.

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  7. I'll bet she lived most of her life in the countryside, or a very small village.

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  8. Poor old woman utterly bewildered by human nature and changing society. I'm ever so glad to be Canadian. We had an election last year. All three of the candidates were sane and plausible. I am profoundly saddened by this election in the country to our south.

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  9. Keep living and breathing, friend Friko ... cuz there is always something new around the next bend of the road ... Love, cat. PS: Lovely old lady story ... me live in the middle of no where ... my door is always unlocked, my car is always unlocked, my heart is always unlocked ... smiles ... in fact my place is so out of the way, that I have wannabe visiting peeps frazzled ... and I like it dat way ... smiles ... Love, cat.

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    1. PPS: Cum and see my travel blog, if you like, friend Friko ... http://ckpeacemaker.wordpress.com/

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  10. Land der unbegrenzten Moeglichkeiten - so true. We are simply stunned.

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  11. "The time has come the walrus said....to speak of other things....". I, too, have felt as though with what I was hearing that I'd gone down the rabbit hole -- other worldly.

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  12. Sigh.
    This too will pass. I hope. And trust.

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  13. Hi Friko - yes what a sad tale ... and who knows next week .. the same story line. We can only empathise and hope for them, and for us as we toddle on towards those years ... take care and thanks for bringing us back to normality of life for some. All the best - Hilary

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  14. After Brexit - which I honestly did not think would happen -, nothing surprises me anymore. And if someone like Berlusconi is possible as a head of state in Europe (and repeatedly!), we should not wonder how someone like Trump is possible across the ocean.

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  15. It's been a rough day here. I retire with the hope that the USA will survive the next four years and not shrink to a bit of turbulence on the Canada/Mexico border.

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  16. Librarian has a very good point. We rolled our eyes at the Italians and their seeming fondness for a moron, but the problem was only theirs and made for some entertainment. Now the stakes are staggeringly high, and nobody's laughing. P rightly cautions not to get entangled with alarmism, but it's hard not to go directly to the absolute worst outcome. The slugger for me is the climate change agreement, which the f***er seems to hold in absolute contempt, closely followed by human rights, humanism, and everything else he spits on.
    I admire the patience of the operator. When is naivete just plain stupidity? Not a job for me, clearly.

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  17. I can not believe that we choose a buffoon for president. It is unbelievable.

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  18. Your story of the lady and her car certainly resonated with me. There was a time, some years ago now, when I found myself in court, having to explain to the nice judge in a Hawaiian print shirt and sandals (under a Hemingway-like fan with blades made to look like palm fronds) just why it was that I hadn't renewed both my auto registration and driver's license at the appointed time.

    When I gave what I hoped would pass for an explanation, he rolled his eyes and said something like, "Well, good grief. All right. But I have to ask -- do you know where your car keys are?" "Yes, I do," I said. They're in the ignition of the car." At that point, he really looked at me. "Why?" "Because the key broke off in the ignition, and I wasn't willing to pay what they said it would cost to have it repaired."

    I got away with an admonition and a ten-dollar court cost fee. It was one of the highlights of my life. (I do tend to those details better, now.)

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  19. Yesterday was devastating! I am in America--in Tennessee, where the majority of people voted for him. I'm just floored...and questioning how I can live on the same planet as these people, let alone the same country. All I can do now is vote in two years to change Congress to Democrat to maybe combat the damage? I'm hoping and praying that once he gets in there, he starts listening to people around him and calms down...but his volatile personality terrifies me.

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    1. "All I can do now is vote in two years to change Congress to Democrat to maybe combat the damage?" is an excellent plan, which I will follow too. The other thing to note is that Clinton, not the other one, got the majority of the popular vote. There is a petition going around to ask that members of the electoral college cast their votes for Clinton. This is a chance to stop him; a slim one, but worth agitating for, I think.

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  20. we are all in shock. but the struggle continues. perhaps young people will wise up politically. we must just keep breathing..... sorry, world

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  21. At first I was going to argue with you about calling and elderly person daft because she might have forgotten where she parked her car or who she loaned it to....but this dear soul is really daft!! Across the pond, we are all smiling really broadly through our tears.

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  22. AHA! or should I cry? The "march of the morons" says it well, Friko. I am stunned, embarrassed, concerned, appalled, bereft . . .

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  23. Morons all around us. I am heartbroken. There are many things I disagreed with but the ones that were the dealbreakers for me were the human issues. Immigration. LGBT rights. Caring for our people. Being kind and decent. Not paying people who work for you? Bullying? No. Neither candidate was without flaws but oh, how I wanted Hillary to win. I'm still grieving and probably will be. And embarrassed for our country. Very worried about the future. But then, I must move forward in kindness, compassion, light -- and hope that much of it was a big act. I don't think so. But I can hope. And work to change it in four years...

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  24. These are scary times. I hope that we can come together and see some real changes in America.

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  25. Still here but feel like crap and this news does not help...I know what you mean about sleep...6

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  26. A previous commenter said it first, but I must repeat: "The morons are on the march everywhere." I laughed, and realized I hadn't in some time. Thank you.

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  27. We handed him the keys, and now we have a long walk home. It's getting dark, and starting to snow...

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  28. Oh dear, she had a bad day. Worse than the one I had here. Be kind, some day you will do something like this.

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  29. Morons marching here, too. Big time!

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  30. Great story, Friko. As for the story on my side of the pond -- heartbreaking.

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  31. as my host said to me when I was in Scotland this summer the day after the Brexit vote...stupid, stupid people. I am ashamed and horrified that Americans elected this totally morally deficient excuse for a human being.

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  32. Just thought you might find this link of interest. I highly recommend reading this commentary I became aware of just today. She's a prominent highly respected 49 year old Russian and American Journalist Masha Gessen who has had first hand experience living as a citizen in both countries:
    http://www2.nybooks.com/daily/s3/nov/10/trump-election-autocracy-rules-for-survival.html

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  33. I'm still waiting for someone to shout " April fool ! ".

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  34. Your title is good advice. I've been trying to follow it. Sometimes it takes more effort than others. It appears that That Man has quietly reversed himself on a couple of his more ridiculous opinions. That's good.
    I wonder if he's planning to hand over the meat of the job to Pale Pence. That's not good.

    Breathe in.
    Breathe out.
    Repeat.

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  35. I firmly believe that something will change before summer. He is simply unable to carry out the simplest sane task. But indeed, this will go down in history as one of of those "One step forward. Three steps back." periods of time.

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  36. Interesting analogy. Do you think we are behaving like the poor old lady? Keys in the ignition, car doors open? Somehow that does not sound so implausible to me....thanks for sharing the story - and the inimitable style with which you relate it.

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  37. When GW was President, and we summered in MN, we were always embarrassed for people to know we were from TX. Little did we know that we were going to find ourselves embarrassed to be Americans. I do wish we would all wake up and discover that it was all a really bad dream. I fear the future. I think there is going to be serious violence. Some of those people who voted for the disaster are going to find out that many of those promises for a rosy future were only figments of somebody's imagination. There will be plenty of guns in the fray, too.

    Thank you for blogging. You help me cope.

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