Friday 5 August 2016

Lonely ?


In need of company? Desperate for a chat?

Get a dog, or, even better, get a dog and come and live in Valley’s End.

This morning I hadn’t even set foot in the road beyond the field and cattle grid when two gentlemen walking along stopped and hailed me. I was pushing a wheelbarrow full of stuff for the rubbish bin down the drive and one of the chaps came and pushed it the last five meters to the gate for me. One of them had been away on holiday, so we hugged a ‘hallo,-lovely-to-see-you-back” hug.  All three of us stopped for a chat and the holiday maker said he had something for us and would come round later.

They went off and I saw Dave leading Badger and Murphy, his two collies, on the other side of the road. I still hadn’t left my own drive. I hailed Dave and he came over. Millie greeted Badger and Murphy and I enquired why I hadn’t seen Dave for three weeks or more. Was he well? Had they been away? Yes, all was fine but “you know how it is. Sometimes we change routines.” Dave is normally someone I meet up with, via dog-walking, twice a week at least. He’s a kind chap, does neighbourly deeds for people in need without making a fuss. He’s helped Kevin in the past, or, as he likes to be called, Kev, the chap for whom the glass is always half empty. The ex-alcoholic who makes sure everybody knows that he is not long for this world. Kevin the wood carver.

Kev is a sad chap, even more so now that he’s lost Sam, his one and only true friend. Sam was very old and has been deteriorating for a while. All praise to Kev for having kept him alive for as long as he did. But now Sam’s gone. I knocked on Kev’s door to tell him how sorry I was and asked what had happened with Sam. “Thank you for calling, but I don’t want to talk about it.” Kev’s eyes are always a bit rheumy, this time they were more watery than ever, but he didn’t actually cry. Kev often used to call on us with Sam; Sam always got a treat. Now I won’t be seeing Kev out again. Some people say that there are plenty of dogs in need of a loving home, perhaps Kev will take on another reject, but maybe not just yet.

Sue and Joe, the retired vicar, weren’t sure they'd have another dog after Jake died, very recently. He was a beauty, a long haired golden retriever with a mind of his own. Jake insisted that he would go for at least one paddle a day, come rain or shine, hell or high water. The latter literally. He plunged in even when the river was running in spate and the water icy cold. Millie and Jake got on very well, both being old and a bit disdainful of these young whippersnappers racing round the field over and over again, yipping madly; then taking a break and pestering the older, more dignified generation, shoving their noses up under their tails and sniffing their bottoms. Most intrusive, no wonder Millie and Jake growled occasionally.

Now, less than two months later, I see Sue with a new golden retriever, Alfie, who’d lost his previous home. Sue and Joe felt their very small house wasn’t complete without a large dog cluttering up the bit of free space they own, and went looking for a living rug to shed his long fur over every surface. Sue and Alfie are a well matched pair already, she smiles all over her benevolent, round, face every time we meet and tells me how well and thoroughly Alfie has already settled into their routine. Alfie already has her sussed. “Every time he sees me handle the roll of blue poo bags he makes for the door. He knows a blue bag means walkies.” Of course he does, dogs aren’t stupid, no matter what cat lovers say. No doubt Alfie will accept Joe as his owner soon enough and Joe too will join the dog walking fraternity again.

Then there’s Robin, the part-time-post-retirement-brewer who works at the local pub but still has time to come out with mad Horace,  the speediest whippet-cum-lurcher-cum-unknown-hairy-creature who can cover the hundred meter field in two-and-a-bit seconds. Robin throws a ball for him with one of those long-handled contraptions, giving him and me plenty of time to chat, while Horace with the black eye patch flies off, stretching out horizontally, feet never touching the ground. There’s Jim-the-tooth with his whippet-lurcher combo, who isn’t quite as fast as Horace but still likes to run for Horace’s ball and nick it if he gets half a chance.

Or there’s the lady with the wild blond hair and her greyhound Archie; she also brings her husband who has suffered a stroke and lost the power of speech. Perhaps that’s why she always talks and talks and talks; I  rarely understand what she’s saying because she mumbles rather, flicks her hair out of her eyes and adjusts the tweed capes she wears, summer and winter, while talking. She’s rather sweet, her husband lumbers awkwardly across the field, grunting at her, encouraging her to help him to the bridge and back to the car long before she’s ready. She and I commiserate with each other about the boring and unpleasant side of being full time carers.

Jane, a large, sightly mannish lady brings Buster, an equally large chocolate labrador. Jane is unmarried and childless, an ex-teacher, who talks to her dogs like she must have talked to her pupils once upon a time, kindly but firm, pretending to be the boss, while all the time they run rings around her.

These are just a few of the regular dog walkers I run across, there are many others and all of them will stop to chat. And I haven’t even mentioned trips to the shop yet. Often Millie gets tied to the railings at the entrance, where she collects a circle of admirers in no time, all of whom first talk to her, then me, until a small knot of people, arriving and leaving, blocks the entrance and makes the traffic slow down where the road meets the narrow pavement.

Valley’s End is a very friendly place. From what I’ve written here it may look as if only dog walkers take the time to exchange pleasantries with each other. That’s far from the case. Even the surgery is a busy hub of social intercourse. But dog walkers are a special breed, and if they have nothing else in common they share the bond of love for man’s best friend.





34 comments:

  1. You've painted a lovely picture of the area where you live. Nothing quite like dogs to create friendliness between people.

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  2. Andrew is right. I love the cats who own us, but their habit of growling at strangers and scuttling away doesn't encourage friendly conversation.

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  3. Everyone has something interesting about them, and you convey those quirks so very well, Friko.

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  4. Lovely post! I can see both owners and their humans very clearly.

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  5. Yes, I had that in the dog park in Toronto, 5.00pm every day after work we'd all gather with the dogs and they'd run wild and we'd get caught up on workdays and arrange the BBQs and the meetups in restaurants. A hugely eclectic bunch, I'm talking the humans. Loved it and them and the dogs.
    Beautiful post Friko.
    XO
    WWW

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  6. I meet peeps like Kev and Dave and Sue every day on my walk home from work ... every morning we say: "Hello" and smile at each other ... and then scurrying off to our assigned places in society ... me goin 2 sleep after a long night's work and them goin bright eyed and bushy tailed 2 work ... I love these peeps, friend F ... and I would miss them if one fine day one of them would not be there ... and as sure as hell, I hope they would miss me too ... smiles ... Love, cat.

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    1. I know this a bit beside Ur point cuz my story is about humans ... smiles ... Love, cat,

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  7. I like your vignettes of dogs and their people and how you form a community.

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  8. That was lovely, Friko. It was like a bit of a break at the end of the day. I could imagine the road outside your house and thought of the way we'd walked when I visited. I'm glad that you live in a place where people stop to visit for a few minutes - but there's nothing like a dog for helping the chat along.

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  9. Hi Friko - I agree .. a beautiful rendition of life with a dog in a comforting village - which has a caring life sometimes hiding behind its portals - as you highlight ... lots of (inadvertent, sometimes) gathering places - I can just see it ... my brother's MIL has similar ventures in her village - as they do when they walk the Downs each day ... your post brings back memories. Cheers Hilary

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  10. This was a most entertaining morning coffee read for me, thank you! I have never met a cat lover (myself and my parents included) who said dogs are stupid. One of my Mum's best friends has two cats and a dog living with her; the animals get along just fine.
    Something else that makes strangers talk to you is when you are with a big suitcase, I find. I often get asked whether I am going on holiday and if so, where, and some interesting conversations have ensued.

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  11. What a great post! I could see these people and their canine friends. Thank you for sharing you friendly part of the world.

    FlowerLady

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  12. From my window, I can see people and their dogs walking around the marina every morning and evening, and what you say is true. The dogs provide an opportunity for people to have at least some contact with their close or far neighbors -- even more important here, where everyone is an apartment dweller, and people tend to come and go far too quickly to get to know one another.

    Even non-dog owners, like me, can take advantage of it. I have new neighbors who've only been in the apartment next to me for a week: maybe less. Yesterday, I saw him out with a dog as I was coming home from work. I stopped to pet and chat. As it turns out, the completely adorable dog was a nine-week old Collie, and it is precious. I can't remember the dog's name this morning, though I can remember its human's. No matter -- it will give me a chance to stop for more conversation the next time I see them.

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  13. Your writing is superb. I was there with you, and I could see them all in my mind's eye. I also stop and pet dogs when I see them. On our Saturday morning walk there are three regulars as well. :-)

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  14. It really sounds like a nice neighborhood. At least people seem to give a damn about each other and their pets. That is always a good thing.

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  15. I loved taking this walk with you and Millie and meeting many of your neighbor's, both two and four legged. I prefer people who love animals because I know that they usually have a good heart.

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  16. Dogs will get you out and talking to people. We lived here full time for about 5 years before I met any of the neighbors. Then Minnie showed up a year or so ago and I walk her down the street and back and I've met and chat with just about all the neighbors now.

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  17. Friko, it's been a joy to read this post and the prior comments. My country dreams always include a dog! For now I am on wonderfully friendly terms with some excellent pups I encounter in lobby or elevator of my apartment building. And there is wonderful Buddy who lives just down the hall from me.

    xo

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  18. Dogs indeed. I have small dogs as befits an urban dweller. Nevertheless some of my more intrepid friends walk with large dogs who pull them along if we gab too much. Everyone in my neighborhood knows Johnny, the local escape artist. Debbie and Hank ran him home yesterday.

    Sounds as if you have brightened a bit, living in the present moment. What else can we do?

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  19. My cat totally thinks dogs are stupid, but I certainly don't. They are loyal, incredibly optimistic, and everything I learned about unconditional love as a child was from my dog. Sounds like a marvelous place to live! :)

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  20. One of the favorite past times of a dear friend of ours who died this year at almost 91 was to sit on a park bench in New York City and chat with dog owners and admire their dogs as they passed by. It seems to create an almost immediate bond of affinity for all involved.

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  21. you are such a good writer. I loved reading this and it made me smile in amusement and recognition.

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  22. Thank you for the wonderful sketches and the good info on socializing in the country. Waikiki was chock-a-block people everywhere ALL the time, to watch, to give directions to... folks on holiday are always ready to tell you where they're from and who they are. Now here in the wilds of California's west I have noticed the shops, the bar (pub) the hardware store, and tiny main street are the places to see and perhaps chat up other humans. I must say I find living among the birds and breezes very amiable! This is always one of my favorite visits, dear F; And always one of the most edifying/instructive. Thanks

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  23. Dog walkers are a special breed. That is for sure. The ones in Valley's End are marvelously described by you. It is such a joy to read your writing. Thank you for this. I couldn't help but think how these stories of Valley's End should be collected and published. I thought of James Harriot as I read this. I could just see you all so well in that beautiful place you call home. Yes, I wish I could walk my Boston there.

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  24. I haven't got a dog now, but my house is on a lane popular with dog walkers and most of them say hello if I'm out in my garden. When I'm out walking, it's somehow easier to stop and greet a strange dog than a person I don't know, so I tend to do it quite a lot!

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  25. We were dog owners for many years, but this tick invested area keeps us avoiding dogs. I would love to have a dog though.

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  26. It sounds absolutely wonderful, Friko! I remember when I was in my twenties and going through a lonely spell, a co-worker suggested that I get a dog because then I would not only have a companion but also would have a chance to meet people out on walks. My apartment didn't allow animals so I didn't get a dog. But I've always liked them. Even now, when my husband and I have four cats in residence, we go walking in search of dogs, their people and pleasant conversation. And we always have a very enjoyable time!

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  27. All people you described Friko are very kind people, loving dogs and very friendly. You're lucky having a company of dog walkers.

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  28. Your are an excellent writer Frico , we have lots of dog people with their dogs on our beach. One day I will have another dog.

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  29. Oh, I think Valley's End sounds quite wonderful. And you are right about a pet -- and a dog is especially a social animal as you have to walk it! I know on my walks around the lake, I always stop and talk with the dog walkers, admiring their four legged friend! This is indeed a delightful post -- you should submit it to one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books about dogs (always looking for submissions) or a dog magazine!

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  30. This is like something out of a book I would very much like to read. Wonderful stuff. Thanks for sharing it.

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  31. Dog owners a real friendly sort..mostly! I enjoyed your post very much! :)

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  32. I simply love your writing. Please accept my gratitude for the gift you give us.

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