Monday 13 July 2015

A Chink Of Light


is opening up in the distance.

Much has changed since I last came here, some of it is permanent, some of it temporary. Three weeks after D for dumping-the-pills-day there is evidence of huge improvement, mentally more so than physically;  but hey, we are grateful for any crumb coming our way. The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.

“You didn’t sign up for this, did you?”

and

“It shouldn’t be such hard work for you to keep me alive.”

he said. He’s back.

He has a point, this “in sickness and in health” bit came as quite a shock. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last two months. I’m no Florence Nightingale - come to think of it, my track record compares favourably to hers, at least my patient is still alive whereas most of hers died - but there’s no point getting impatient with someone whose mind has gone walkabout, no matter how tired you are.

Oh yes, he had another adventure: driving an old banger on Top Gear. It was terrifying, he said. Still, at least that was a bit nearer home than fighting in the Russian Revolution.


I won’t be able to catch up with all your comments. I’ll have to start afresh. Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers. I am sure they helped.




41 comments:

  1. Some improvement is good news to hear. Being a care-giver is so difficult and sometimes a thankless job. I have been there and am seeing signs that Ii will be one again. What I found out about myself is that I am capable of many things that I never imagined I would be able to do. We do what we must because we love. If possible, get some help because you will need some respite time.

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  2. I hope that chink of light becomes a blaze. Caring is a very, very difficult job - look after yourself too.

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  3. What they said. I hope that it all turns out for the best, because you do have quite a Fan Club out here, Friko. :-)

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  4. I'm glad that there is an improvement...could anyone give a hand with the day to day household stuff to enable you to get more rest?

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  5. A chink of light, indeed. Not being FN may be a good thing, by the way. She, I think, loved humanity generally, but not individual humans. You have been stalwart, as has B, or so it seems from here. Please know that you both have been and continue to be in our thoughts.

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  6. Glad things are improving.

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  7. I hope there is continued improvement in mind and body. New challenges for you! Hang in there.

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  8. Dear Friko, lots of love to you and your beloved.

    You are kind to have posted this update. xo

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  9. I was hoping to hear some news of encouragement. It sounds like things are on the up-tick and I hope they continue to be so. I will wish for you strength and and that you are having some help.

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  10. Thanks for the update. I was worried, of course.
    Hang in there. All good thoughts and love.
    XO
    WWW

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  11. evil evil pills!

    May improvement continue







    ( '>
    /))
    //""

    ALOHA

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  12. Thank you so much for taking time to post. I have been checking daily, thinking about you and Beloved, hoping things were looking up for you. My dear Old Man is ten years older than I. I know that one day I may be where you are. I am with the others here sending you our best thoughts and warm wishes.

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  13. i can tell i'm behind in what has happened but you've made it easy to catch up. i know this way of living too. i'm glad there is some even small improvement and i hope you have some time to yourself, if only a little. that's important.

    love
    kj

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  14. Thank you for letting us know how things are going for you and Beloved.
    I wonder, does your dog feel a change? There certainly are new routines in your household now, and sometimes these will be upset I suppose. Dogs and cats usually are sticklers to routine, so your dog will definitely know about any change there, but does she also recognize a change in your husband?

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  15. Hope things continue to improve.

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  16. Dear Friko - so pleased 'he's back' ... that is good news and long may the improvement continue and you can get some rest in between times. Adventures are fun ... and gave me much to laugh about at their improbability - yet the Russian Revolution and driving an old banger on Top Gear ... all sound a bit more worrying than ours (my mother and I).

    Take care and now for some rest in the slightly cooler weather .. and recovery mode for you both .. with thoughts - Hilary

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  17. Wishing you well Friko, and may the chink of light grow bigger.

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  18. Never worry about catching up with comments - let it be known, that I terribly miss your adventurous adventures and mis-adventures. I like the way your mind works when you are writing posts. I truly wish things were better for you at this time, but do remember one thing Friko - we all miss you and your posts. No need to start over, catch up etc. One day we will all see a post appear. In answer partly to "Librarian" comment - Pets notice change in human parents behaviour and try to adapt much the same way us humans do by "caring" in the only way they know. When my Mum became ill, my Jack stayed more by her side and more than once Jack wanted to be "closer" to her or just snuggle at her feet. Jack slept on my Dad's bed right beside him and Dad knew he was there when he was very sick with flu that knocked him off his feet. Animals do sense these things, sometimes way before we do that there is a change in their loved ones. Friko, my dear, you continue to do what you do but above all, take time for yourself too; to stay healthy and fit so you don't get run down. I know how hard it can be - just know you are thought of and wished well. Love, Lilly

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  19. Thinking of you so much, Friko ... thanks for writing this post ... wishing u and him well ... always ... Love, cat.

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  20. May 'Beloved' continue to improve. This was a 'good news' post. Thank you for taking the time to let us all know.

    Continued prayers for the both of you ~ FlowerLady

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  21. glad to hear of the continued improvement. western medicine seems to be all about throwing pills at patients without any real regard for what they are already taking. they never take you off any, just add more to deal with side effects.

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  22. At least some good news ! Must be a hard time for you ! Learning to be patient when it is not in your nature is very hard !

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  23. I am so glad things are looking up. Having been in the caregiver role (more than once) I have great empathy for you. It's exhausting mentally and physically. But so good to see some results. Day by day, it's all you can do. Thanks for keeping us posted.

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  24. This post is a nice relief. A break for you, somewhat. I sometime wonder how patient I will/would be as a caregiver for hubby. I have done it for both my Mom and my mother-in-law, but they were different situations. Hubby has always been a bit forgetful, but now something happens every day. Of course, I have a mind like a steel trap and forget nothing.

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  25. So pleased for you. You might not be the world's best nurse (who is?) but I'm sure you're the person Beloved was relieved to come back to between his 'adventures'. Must have been very frightening for both of you.

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  26. Friko I'm so glad that things seem to be improving. We are going through the 'In sickness and in health' bit too. It's a long hard road. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  27. Fresh starts are good. A time or two, I've faced an inbox filled with post announcements and just not been able to cope. Hence: a swift click of the delete button, and all is well. I felt a tiny bit guilty at the time, but not so much that I regretted the action.

    I'm so glad to hear of the improvement on the home front. Best of all is seeing your post. If ever you're just overwhelmed, you always can throw up a post that says, "Still here. More later." We'd understand!

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  28. Wonderful to hear of improvement!

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  29. I'm so glad to hear there's a bit of light shining. Here's hoping it continues. As others have said - no need to catch up on blogging comments.

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  30. I have checked on you daily and so pleased to read
    what you share.
    So glad there is a bit of light shining.

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  31. I'm glad the news is , at least in part , good . And my commiserations on the less good bits .
    I wouldn't worry about any lack of Florence Nightingale qualities ; unless Beloved is really keen on hospital corners , he won't mind . Being a carer requires a saintliness that none of us is born with . Most hover between being a Sunbeam and counting to ten before reacting ....

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  32. This news is heartening for us all. Good news, even if it means Beloved is not entirely where he was before the set back is just that: good news. I understand that part about not being a good nurse. I am not cut out to be a nurse either. I'm not a good patient either. Take care, Dear One. Many are in your corner even as your corner.

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  33. hope things continue to improve. Doctoring is mostly trial and error despite what they say to the contrary

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  34. I'm glad for some improvement. I hope you can get outside in the garden or for a short walk - some time to rejuvenate. You have many people thinking of you from all over the world.

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  35. Oh Friko, I can identify with your plight. I think our husbands are about the same ages, as are you and I. Thinking about you everyday.

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  36. I'm glad to hear there is some improvement and hope he continues on the road to recovery. Still sending good thoughts!

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  37. I'm glad to hear of the improvement. I can't pretend to know what things are like from the perspective of the healthy spouse, except by what I see of my husband, but I know it's hard, especially when it's so abrupt. Physical illness is one thing, but when the mind fails… it's a whole 'nother thing. I went through a period of dementia myself in the past year, and while it was terrifying from my end it was like nothing my husband had ever experienced before. I felt so sorry for him… "You didn't sign up for this, did you?" That's it, EXACTLY. Bravo to you for hanging in there when the going got tough--many people decide that's the perfect time to split. I sincerely hope that matters only continue to improve. This kind of stuff is SO stressful, for everyone involved. Not good.

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  38. I was so glad to read things are improving for both your husband and you. Even under duress your writing is such a pleasure to read. Thinking of you and wishing only good things happen for a while!

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  39. So when was he on Top Gear? Or am I being too literal? Sorry to hear things have been so worrying. Indeed I hope the chink will grow to be a full blast and a return to sunny normality soon.

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  40. I'm sorry, I didn't know. You are a brave soul, and he is soldiering on. God bless you!

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  41. What a frightening event for you both in your lives together!!!! It's good the medicos were able to sort out the problem. although it seems it takes a bit of time to get the stuff out of the system. Thinking of you... As my younger neices and nephews might say here in Oz, sometimes life sucks!!!! Christine

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Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.