Monday, 13 October 2014

SHORTS: Revenge

Both of them were guests at the same party; she’d seen the lady with the I-don’t-want-to-speak-to-you face on several occasions before, here and there; once, sitting on adjacent chairs, she’d even smiled and tried to engage her in small-talk but had met with nothing more than a desinterested grunt.

They walked towards each other in the hall of their host’s house. She’d seen the lady's approach and, fearing that they might have to touch elbows in the crowded, narrow corridor, she composed her features to give the impression of absent-minded preoccupation. From the corner of her eye, she saw a half-hearted twitch on the lady’s face, possibly the beginnings of a smile, which she succeeded in missing completely.

Afterwards, she had a vague feeling of having been mean, but it had felt good at the time.




27 comments:

  1. You managed to pack quite a few different feelings into that short piece, Friko. I've been there, on both sides. :-)

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  2. You've reminded me of a woman in the group I just traveled with. For the life of me I couldn't get her to acknowledge me with anything more than a grunt and a grimace. I finally decided, the heck with you lady, and ignored her for the rest of the trip.

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  3. Oh wow...lots of depth here Friko. Makes me wonder about the backstory to it :)

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  4. Friko, you have really painted a unique picture with your words. Nice job.

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  5. Nice piece. I know I am dense at times, but I expected her to be in 'shorts.'

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  6. A slice of life actually! Well done.

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  7. A most intriguing tableau. The imagination searches for a history and a future from it. Skillfully done, Friko!

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  8. "...she composed her features to give the impression of absent-minded preoccupation."
    Oh, this is good. I have been there and done that. From each side.

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  9. An interesting situation :-) Well done. Have a good week Diane

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  10. I do believe this has happened to all of us at one time or another. Very well written. I almost felt like I was in that hallway. Well done my dear.

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  11. It is hard being in the same world, much less the same room, with someone who does not want to be any part of your life. I do not understand it, because so much tension has to be hard on you.

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  12. How do you do that? How do you take just a very few paragraphs and turn it into a magical slice of life?

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  13. Very descriptive, I was also 'there' in your words.

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  14. HA! You have us right in the middle of the situation. Darn those narrow corridors ;-)

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  15. Hi Friko - oh gosh ..those people - once I've sort of acclimatised .. I go my own route and engage with others and do my own thing: as I know you do too ..

    "touch elbows" - how frightening in that crowded corridor .. snake-like slither past ... cheers Hilary

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  16. Beautifully written Friko. I can't understand why people behave like this, but they obviously do - we had an incident at a festival last Saturday - it doesn't hurt to be warm and friendly. Oh well, their problem I guess.

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  17. I believe that most writings come from some personal experience on the writer's part... sometimes tweaked a bit with imagination. Passing on the feeling at the moment to the reader is a gift. Good writing, Friko.

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  18. ha. i wonder if the other woman felt the same
    or if all this was just playing out in the one lady's
    head

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  19. My dear Friko, you have captured a scene that could have existed in many time frames, century by century, in many parts of our beautiful Earth.

    I think of the phrase from a song that I don't particularly like, "tell me, how long has this been going on?"

    On the reverb from hearing that tune in my head, I wonder if the same corridor encounter could happen with males, elbow to elbow.

    I think yes.

    xo and I promise an email to you.

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  20. Revenge, yes. People only deserve so many chances, and then, you know what? They can just blow by, or make an effort to know me. Did my bit, now it's their turn.

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  21. What's good for the goose, as they say. ;)

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  22. I think we've all been on both sides of that mindset at least once but in all honestly, I thought you were going to say that it was her reflection in the mirror.

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  23. Oh, you're a snarky one Friko!

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  24. That's a great line, and would do well as a title for something a bit larger: "The Woman With the I-Don't-Want-to-Talk-to-You Face" That one isn't a specialty of mine, but I did go through a period when I could pull off a great "Despite the Fact That You're Upsetting Me Terribly, I Don't Intend to Show It" face.

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