Wednesday 2 July 2014

Where Are My Socks?

Or Aunt Josephine’s walking stick?

I don’t know about you but my short-term memory seems to have gone on a long holiday, perhaps it’s even moved out entirely.

So when the nurse taking blood to check for some malfunction or other said: “Erm, we are running these memory tests. Nothing too serious, you’ll walk through them. Would you be willing . . . .?”
I thought, why not, perhaps we’ll even find that mislaid memory stick.

Question 1: “a name and address, to be repeated instantly and then recalled at the end of the process.” John Brown, 42 High Street, West Kensington - easy peasy; I’ll never forget the gentleman and his fictitious address now, not ever. But what about the walking stick?

Question 2: “what’s the date today?” It was lucky that I’d checked the date before coming out to the surgery. It doesn’t do to present yourself when you’re not wanted. Normally I don’t even know what day of the week it is, much less the numerical date.

Question 3: “What’s in the news at the moment ?” Ah, that I do know. The horror of it! So I came back with “apart from football? What’s not in the news: Syria, Iraq, Ukraine, people fleeing impossible hardship, war, hunger and disease, Africa, children dying . . . . . .”

She stopped me, “Yes, but what about London, what’s happening there?” Well, as far as I know London is quiet apart from the insane noises politicians are making. So I nearly but not quite scratched my head. “London? Nothing much?”

“Yes, yes,” she said and clicked her tongue, tick-tock-tick-tock, while batting her hand from side to side.

“Oh, London, Wimbledon, the tennis you mean?”

She beamed at me. "Yes, Wimbledon”!

Friko, get your priorities right!

She asked two further questions, which I answered correctly; sadly I have forgotten what they were.

Aunt Josephine’s walking stick and the socks were found, peacefully cohabiting, on the newel post.

Somebody - could it have been me? -  moved the socks from the rail around the AGA, where they were drying after I’d got my feet wet in the tall grass, and had hidden them under Beloved’s cardigan, which had also found a temporary home there.

I thought I remembered that I had slipped the walking stick inside through the open door, while I took my shoes off and promptly forgotten all about it. When I came to look for it next day it was not to be found in any of its usual places: not hanging from a rung of the ladder in the shed, not slipped over the towel rail in the scullery, not in its proper place in the umbrella and stick stand in the lobby. Somebody had moved it. Or had I lost it on the way home yesterday and never brought it in at all?

It’s my favourite stick, fits into my hand and is high and sturdy enough; Aunt Josephine was as tall as me and the stick saw her through many an arduous hike in the mountains. It’s handy for whacking nettles and fighting off axe murderers. I needed to find it and therefore went out and retraced every step of the walk of the previous day. Nothing.

And then I found the socks.

As for John Brown? He’s still at 42, High Street. West Ken. And ever more shall be so.




40 comments:

  1. so how many axe murderers have you fended off with that stick?
    smiles...glad you found your socks...and seems you did quite well with the test...

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  2. I am up far too early being 4.54am in the morning. A coffee and a chuckle at your blog post is just the thing Friko. And I am awfully pleased you found that elusive stick.
    Just yesterday a friend said "I barely remember any of it but I was watching this fabulous programme last night that was really interesting" Pardon?

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  3. You memory is perfect Friko. Although you forgot where was your stick but you found it! I think the problem is not your memory but you thought about something else and automatically left your stick.

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  4. What a relief to know you're not sallying forth into the world sockless and unarmed!

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  5. Hello,

    Now, where are we?

    Well, as we were saying..........

    Love red socks.

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  6. Apple, table, penny are the random words you're asked to remember in an Alzheimer's test here. If you've been tested a few times and you're not hopelessly amnesiac, they go from the short term to the long term memory - so why not change them? I don\t know.

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  7. Is that nurse able to attract 511 followers on her blog?

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  8. Ah your memory seems pretty sound to me. I think I would have forgotten that address.. or focused so hard on remembering it that I wouldn't have been able to answer some of the other questions.

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  9. Tanyone for ennis? Not me. Now, the Tour de France - that gets me going. Most sport on TV makes me yawn but when I watch the TDF (which I do assiduously, every year) I get an inkling of how football and tennis fans must feel.

    Hopefuly, we'll actually get to SEE the TDF live up here this weekend.

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  10. Love that you found the important things.

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  11. Just don't forget how to write, Friko. I imagine you could write a dozen stories about 42 high street, even you remembered nothing else. I keep three walking poles (I refuse to call them sticks) and one in each of my daughter's homes. Even with three I sometimes can't find even one. They always reappear in the most unlikely places. As there is no-one else to blame, the washing machine is accused of stealing all missing socks, it's like the cows and regurgitates them occasionally.

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  12. Apart from Mr. Brown the rest seems more like current knowledge than memory...

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  13. Friko, with this post of yours, I am beginning to realize that I might have to send you another long-winded email. Hoping to remember this tomorrow.

    xo

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  14. I say that my memory problems are due to brain overload. I'm thinking of other things rather than where I put my shoes, or my glasses, or my phone. I do hope you find the walking stick. Did it slip behind something? Let us know when you find it.

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  15. I am always afraid to take one of those memory tests. I shouldn't worry though since I probably would forget that I took it by the time I got home.

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  16. You'll find that stick, probably already have by now. Whacking nettles is very important at this time of year. I use my trekking poles for that task. :-)

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  17. My normal flightiness and eccentricity shall take on more sinister overtones as I age. I can see that now!

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^= <3

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  18. I pulled a similar on my favourite dog leash and I could not find it. And there it was on the newel post. I never put anything there as I am afraid of a pile-up and a teeter over situation all over the hall.

    Wimbledon? Saints be praised!

    XO
    WWW

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  19. You had an Aunt Josephine too? Mine was actually a great Aunt who preferred to be called Aunt Jose (Jose, not Hoe-say). Does anyone have Aunt Joses any more?

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  20. I have managed to lose a brown cashmere jumper from my wardrobe and have no idea how it could have happened. With a 100 % certainty, I know that I have never packed it in my little red suitcase (or any other bag) for travelling, and never took it off anywhere else than in my bedroom. Is it possible my wardrobe has a secret door in the back, like the gate to Narnia?
    Hopefully, your walking stick will turn up. Maybe someone found it along your walking route before you had a chance to go out there again, and they are now either very happy with it, or were kind enough to put it somewhere in the village where people often pass and it would be noticed. Is there such a thing as a post office / village shop where someone could leave lost&found items?

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  21. The walking stick is probably out walking and will be home when it gets tired.

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  22. That memory test had some holes. Who designs them anyway? Elders have no need to remember dates! If the day is long and I am tired I can forget almost everything except my name. I do not think it is memory overload. I think it is not caring to remember it all with a little bit of senility thrown in. Hubby's mother at the end was living back when she was 20, She had forgotten everything beyond that do to small strokes. We just accepted that we had a 20-year-old grannie living with us. Hubby now forgets more, but if I am honest he always was forgetful.

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  23. Sounds to me as if your memory is functioning fine, Friko. We're all allowed lapses, it's just that sometimes they all come in a rush! No-one who writes posts as acutely observed as yours has any need to worry.

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  24. I hope you find your walking stick. I am glad no one has decided to give me a memory test. I don't think I want to know. ;)

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  25. memory? what's that? OK, I'm not that bad. Mostly my memory is bad because I just don't pay attention. but when I do, it's good.

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  26. What a fun post! We all suffer from those memory moments... I always say it takes me a while to look back through mile file cabinets! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

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  27. I'm not sure why but this reminds me of when I was in the hospital & my ex told me the hospital doctor questioned him on my patronizing answers. The doctor, having never met me before, wanted to know if my ex thought it was a component of my disorer. No, no, he assured the doctor~it is a preexisting condition with Mary...

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  28. This memory test assumes a lot. Wimbledon is currently in the news here because of the Canadian wins, but it's usually barely mentioned. Here they might use hockey, but I don't follow that either. Now if they would ask questions to do with gardening, literature or music, you'd be even more of a star, Friko.

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  29. I do a daily crossword to exercise the old brain cells. I think our memories suffer because we have so much more information to process and store nowadays and stress affects it too.

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  30. I kept wanting to rename John to Joe. I once called the Jack Roger's conference room the Jack Daniel's conference room in an email that went out to over 100 people.Generally can't remember what I was going to Google when the page comes up. I forget people's names, not new people, people I have worked with for years. I would have flat out refused that test. At this point I don't want to know. Don't fret so much about the walking stick. It will show up.

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  31. Oh funny. We must laugh at ourselves. Like the day Mom called me into the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, she found a Chiquita banana sticker on her belly. We both laughed. She was forever losing things, forgetting things and picking up hitch hikers.

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  32. Well done for remembering that you took the test !
    I've sat through a few of them , as a spectator , and have been amused to see that all of us ... doctor , patient and I were really useless at the counting backwards bit .

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  33. Always a humorous bent on your experiences, Friko. I enjoyed this - though I cringe at these memory tests. Here, they ask you to say the alphabet backwards. Geez. I couldn't say it backwards in my most lucid days. Ah well, what was I looking for before I sat down at the computer???

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  34. You never fail to make me smile. I've been playing catchup yet again and wondered if you'd found this page in your attempt to recover your blog post? ªhttp://www.geritech.org/2012/10/how-to-recover-deleted-blogger-draft.html)

    I hope no one ever asks me what day it is nor what's in the latest news. I have to cross days off the calendar if I want to know which day I'm on and if I'm not diligent, I can even be in the wrong month! As for news, I am trying to avoid the most controversial as my blood pressure responds whether I wish it would or not.

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  35. I couldn't tell you the date or day of the week either. Something about being retired, changing your routine and priorities that make certain things not so important. Over a week, I might have one event that has to be written down and followed through. The rest? Well, there is always time for the rest...

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  36. Loved this.

    And I'm not so sure I would have passed that memory test, by the way. My short term memory stinks these days!

    "/

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  37. Dearest Friko, at least you have presence of mind to tell the tale.

    I believe myself a little younger than you, yet promptly showed up for some appointment a day early. As embarrassments go one can live it down. Though being too eager is, if amusing, not recommended.

    My grandmother had that most peculiar, and to me then and to this day baffling, habit of making a knot into her handkerchief. So she'd "remember". Remember what?

    U

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  38. To my way of thinking, sporting events do not constitute "news." I would't have come up with that first either.

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  39. Seems we all get a similar memory test. Wonder who designed it??
    Glad stuff reappears when it does. It helps restore the panicy feeling of going crazy!

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  40. Hi Friko - you did offer .. but sometimes the questions are really strange ... after my mother's stroke and she'd been transported there in an ambulance - so she was asked where she was and what the Square was called outside - please?! Thankfully I was there .. because she said Queen Anne Square ... and quite correctly it was originally called that - the New Zealand doctor didn't know .. I explained! She was also asked what a Sporan was ... I don't think even today I could succinctly or clearly define what a sporan is - without being rude ...

    Well I bet you knew more than your questioner did ... but did the walking stick materialise .. I guess it did - unless you'd used it for knitting ... I hope the culprit owned up?! Cheers Hilary

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