Thursday 13 March 2014

Tubs, Puns and Holy Men


Black tubs are sprouting all over the garden. Paul came yesterday, then today it was Gardener’s turn.  Gardener still hasn’t twigged about Paul. Neither of them gives me more than three hours, which means that between them they provide the day’s work I need. Paul is very different from Gardener, no doubt I shall have to train him up. But there’s promise; he may appear in these pages and we may all get to know him as summer progresses.

During tea break he was telling Beloved and me that he’d taken a long time getting to grips with his chainsaw. “I was really nervous handling it at first,” he said. Sensible man, chainsaws are not to be operated in jest.

Beloved, not a hard worker, but keen to be part of the labour force, told a story.

“When the Royal Opera took the orchestra to Los Angeles a friend and I went to the beach, Venice beach, I think it was called. We saw two men juggling with running chainsaws. They were throwing them at each other, catching them in mid-air.”

When we’d finished laughing, Paul said : “Look, no hands.” I told you he shows promise. He’s not bad as a gardener either.

St Gregory was another punster. That awful Ambrose Bierce said of punning: a form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire. I like it; Bierce often pleases me.

Yesterday was St Gregory’s Day. In spite of my catholic schooling I am no expert on saints, I simply have access to an almanac. The Venerable Bede had this to say about Gregory the Great (papacy 590-604):

He was moved to send Augustine to convert the Anglo-Saxons by an encounter in the Roman slave market with some fair-haired English captives. On being told that they were Angles, he replied ‘not Angles but Angels' and on hearing that they came from Deira in Northumbria, he retorted that he would save them from the wrath (de ira in Latin) of God. And finally, when informed that their king’s name was ‘Aella’, the relentless ecclesiastical punster rejoined that Christian ‘Alleluias’ would soon be heard in their land.

Apparently, Gregory was also responsible for Gregorian Chant. Who says the early Church Fathers didn’t have a sense of humour.

I still like Paul’s ‘no hands’ though.



39 comments:

  1. That's a cute joke. I hope he is a good worker. I enjoyed your post.

    Love,
    Janie

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  2. ha. really , no hands...smiles...yikes.
    used a chainsaw quite a bit in my day...

    nice to know spring will be upon us soon.

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  3. “Look, no hands.” Now that is funny!

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  4. Paul sounds a fine addition to your garden, and Pope Gregory is now revealed to me as a rather amusing fellow.

    Friko, you continue to educate and amuse me, while also setting my imagination into action.

    Thank you! xo

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  5. Bierce will give me that with which to pass the time while laid up...already he looks fascinating. Many thanks for the introduction.

    How clean those garden tools are...it is something which I cannot instill into the local chaps to clean tools after use...so I do it myself!

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  6. Look, no hands is great. I do hope he gardens as well as he puns.

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  7. Ah, chain saws. I remember my first--and last--enounter: the fellow that lent it to me said, just make sure you don't cut the cord as you saw. Well, you know how that turned out, even without my telling you. At least I still have my hands.

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    1. Ah, well, OK, not a chain saw, but a hedge clipper. Demonstrating that I am clueless, and it's only lucky that I still have hands.

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  8. Spring Jollity and none too soon!

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral

    =^..^= <3

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  9. Humour can be found in the most unlikely places, I guess. It may not always be "our" kind of humour, but it is there.
    I wonder whether Gardener really doesn't know about Paul, or he just pretends he doesn't know. Couldn't he happen to walk or drive past your place on a day when Paul works there?

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  10. Juggling running chainsaws doesn't sound like a good idea to me, they must be very clever!
    Laughed at "no hands", that would be me if I'd tried juggling a chainsaw!

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  11. I think "Gardner" knows, but I think secretly he also appreciates Paul.. I like the "Look, No Hands" too. I had a good laugh with that one. A sense of humour goes a long way. I think Paul will fit in and do just fine. Have a wonderful day.

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  12. I'd forgotten about the ongoing suspense of your two gardeners - will they find out, won't they, what will happen if they do. Fun.

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  13. Quite the funny joke - a day without laughter is a day wasted :)

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  14. I had to laugh at the Ambrose Pierce quote, since my punster, asleep next to me, will enjoy it when he awakes and I spring it on him. I also laughed out loud at the "no hands" joke. :-)

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  15. Two gardeners...I wish I had one. Although I do have hubby and he does love it!

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  16. No hands! That's a good one. My Dad was the king of bad puns.

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  17. I took my time and explored your past blogs with pleasure. What a treat to be here!

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  18. My father loves puns and anything that has a play on words. He would love the "no hands" joke. ;)
    I hope you get the new guy trained in well.

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  19. For us it's still too early to cut bushes, hedges etc. but we managed to mow the lawn in two days, and it has the size of a handkerchief ! The grass was so high that the robot couldn't mow. Now it's done and Mr. G has to recover from this effort for a couple of days, lol !

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  20. How satisfactory that your gardeners complement each other so well .
    As for juggling with chainsaws ? ... I find using a hand-held blender quite exciting enough !

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  21. Good luck with your gardening.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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  22. Friko - How come you guys get a tea break after only 3 hours of work? Keep digging, I say! Holy cow! Can't believe it's warm enough to be planting.

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  23. Funny guy.. that Paul. I expect we'll be hearing more about him. :)

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  24. I was slow this am. On second reading I realized the pun and who the punster was. Great post.
    Gregorian chant eh? Ah my studies of opera and oratorio come flooding back to the forefront .

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  25. The church should have stayed with the old ways. All the new_fangled ideas from Pius messed it up! Yes, we must train our Gardeners. My guy, who has a 4-year degree and is a certified hort. Planted tulip bulbs under a hydrangea. Now that's different!

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  26. I love a good pun. When I was teaching, during the break at lunch or during our planning period, the English teachers would gather. Sometimes, before long, we would find ourselves exchanging puns. Those were good times.

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  27. I love puns and punsters. On my first river trip, as a guest before I came on staff, I was hauling my duffle bag up a steep embankment to the campsite when I hollered to one of the guides that we needed a winch to haul up these heavy bags, to which he replied we already have one. if Paul stays on will it be Gardener1 and Gardener2?

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  28. Glad to read Ambrose Bierce's thoughts on puns. Juggling gardeners could prove to be an amusing summer activity. Keep us posted.

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  29. Juggling with chainsaws? That's quite a feat.

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  30. I think Paul is a keeper! Someone with a great sense of humour like that can add a lot to your day -- especially when you're working manual labour! Love the Gregorian chant!

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  31. I've been playing catch-up. Now I want a gardner who's punny, a day of laundered sheets blowing on the line, and a serving of lamb chops, almond coated Moroccan spiced shoulder, apricot, lemon, potato dauphine.

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  32. This looks encouraging, and your grass is so green. Must be all that rain. I hope your garden thrives on all the help - and some good laughs to boot.

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  33. Friko, I love good puns but this one Google couldn't translate:((
    Lovely picture of your garden is: green grass, tubs, shovels, hay fork! Have a nice week!

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  34. Hi Friko - love these stories .. and yes quick-witted Paul .. he will give you a good reason for a a few howls of laughter ... put the chain saw down first, please. I can't believe Gardener hasn't twigged about Paul .. clever their days haven't inadvertently crossed ... oh isn't it lovely to be outside. Cheers Hilary

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  35. Oh dear, absolutely winced at the idea of juggling running chainsaws. No, no. no!!!!

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  36. Haha. A witty man is a great blessing.

    =)

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  37. A punning gardener is worth hanging on to.

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  38. Ha ha. You have still been successful with keeping the two apart and not knowing of the other? Wow.

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