Tuesday 3 December 2013

Advent Diary, day 3 - In Ludlow


The plan was to leave home before midmorning, to drop Beloved off in town to do his errands at his own pace and for me to scoot around, rather faster, do some Christmas shopping, pop into Country Clothing for some much needed new trousers and maybe also replace a jumper; then go off to my afternoon meeting with the German Conversation group, which was the main reason for driving into town. I’d pick him up again in the supermarket car park and off we’d go, back home.

“So, what’s the plan then? What exactly is it you want to do in Ludlow”, said he.

“The same as I said last night,  do some shopping and pop along to the meeting”, said I.

“How long will you be?”

“That depends on when we’re leaving. Are you ready?”

“Yes, but seriously, how long will you need in town? I am thinking of the time I have to spend wandering around. And what about the dog?”

“Three hours, no less.”

“That’s rather a long time, isn’t it? And what about lunch?”

“The group will take up 90 minutes minimum. I won’t have time for lunch, I’ll buy a sandwich and eat it before the meeting, probably sitting in the car. And the dog will have to stay in the car too, until I have time to give her a walk.”

“There isn’t really much point in me coming, is there”, said he.

“That depends on what you need to do in town”, said I.

“Well, I have to go to the Bank, but everything else can wait. If you could go to the Bank for me, I could stay here with the dog.”

We had had a very similar conversation the previous evening. Beloved is by no means confused or mentally impaired, he just doesn’t like being left behind and he also doesn’t like spending time in town on his own. I think his secret plan was for a long, leisurely joint lunch, a quick visit to the Bank and for my shopping to find itself done miraculously, perhaps by the efforts of  Heinzelmaennchen,  those mythical fairies who in olden days allowed the good burghers of Cologne a life of indolence.

“Of course I’ll go to the Bank for you. Anything else?”

By now mid-morning had been and gone, Our conversations take a lot less time in the writing than in real time. They are dropped and picked up again in the ordinary course of leaving and entering the room, sorting bags, writing shopping lists, falling over the dog, getting the car out of the garage, putting the phone on charge, checking the temperature prior to choosing a coat and scarf, and making sure that the kitchen sink is safely stowed in the boot of the car.

Finally, I was off. On my own. Exhortations to take care and come home safely following me. I reached Ludlow just after 12 noon. No time to eat, barely time to shop, and as for Country Clothing, some other day perhaps.

Men.


31 comments:

  1. Oh, my! I think Rick and I have had that conversation before! Are you coming, what will you do, do you need me? I'd just rather on my own! But with lunch. I hope you get your shopping done in time for the holiday!

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  2. I understand both your thinking. Of course when there's stuff to do, it simply needs to get done the easiest way possible. But I also like the idea of a leisurely lunch together. Maybe next trip in, eh?

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  3. A doctor once told me that everyone needs eight hours of alone time per week.

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  4. Friko, thank you so very much for the sunny photo of a Ludlow scene I recognized immediately. I wish that you could have seen my smile when I saw that picture!

    And, having been to Ludlow and had the pleasure of your taking me around its very beautiful streets (with all the one of a kind shops,) I could so well imagine your scheduling dilemma. I even knew the grocery store parking lot!
    And that many of those Ludlow shops close at 4:30, when the sun has set and the lamps begin to shine.

    And...as you also know, I do not have the experience of having these dilemmas with a beloved husband. Yes, I am free to plan my "days off" without taking another into consideration. More freedom is not necessarily more happiness.

    Already I am looking forward to meeting you again for more conversation.

    xo

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  5. Is his name John?

    Ludlow is such a lovely place. We visited there for a week in 2004; stayed at a wonderful house, Rose Cottage. My daughter was getting married in Cambridge at the time.

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  6. It seems that men are all the same.I enjoyed reading your rendition... after living it many times.
    Balisha

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  7. You seem to have a little habitual routine here. I think you need to plan how to change that. My husband can rush off to the bank with glee and take at least three hours before he returns. I, like your husband, am quite happy sitting at home and doing my own thing. I never ask him to go with me when I plan to shop....way too much time pressure.

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  8. If I want to go to a meeting, or take part in an activity, then a husband is the last thing I want along for the ride as there will be endless queries as to exactly how long I plan to be, just in case I hadn't realised that he would be 'on his own' while I am 'enjoying myself'.

    Shopping is something else completely...he is an inspired and efficent shopper and I am quite happy to be the bag carrier....

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  9. A lovely day ruined. What would we do without them though?

    Danke to YOU, Friko
    from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3

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  10. DH and I have similar conversations... although probably shorter. Goes more like, "I have some errands to run, want to come?" "No... , when will you be back?" Now *IF* I do want him to come (for whatever reason) all I have to do is promise to stop for lunch or for coffee and something sweet. He does have an insatiable sweet tooth. And I had to laugh at your comment about 'tripping over the dog'... as we're always tripping over cats here.

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  11. Good thing he's your Beloved; otherwise, he could be your Exasperating.

    The discussions you recount remind me of Byron and me talking to his father. By the time the talk is done, you could have been there and back and done three extra things.

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  12. I can relate. These conversations that take place the day or night before are not remembered in detail the next day. I sometimes think I should write out a narrative of our discussion that includes the plans we have decided. Then I would have my beloved sign and date it. Do you think that would work? I'm tempted to try it.

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  13. Men! No matter the country or culture, they are all alike. Hubby always likes to come along with me if I do exactly what he wants to do, no matter my plans.

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  14. a long joint on the porch does not sound bad....smiles..though a couple hours in the city can be fun as well...we def need our apart time as well as together...

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  15. This made me smile - really. There is a universality about the conversations between husbands and wives - really.

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  16. So familiar, Friko! Plans get so complicated when our spouses are involved. But they bring so much to our days as well.

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  17. Your mentioning of stowing the kitchen sink in the boot of the car puzzled me most.

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  18. I think I can understand the feeling of not wanting to be wandering around for 3 hours in the winter. Summer, I am sure, would be different ....

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  19. The kitchen sink safely stowed in the boot of the car made me howl with laughter.

    Husband and I always do our errands separately. We do almost everything separately every day, and meet for a few minutes at the ends of our days. We've been married for a long time, so it must work.

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  20. Did I miss something along the way of reading this post, for I do not know how you would lift and put the kitchen sink in the boot of your car? ha,ha I thought that might be like rambling on about things that had to be done prior to leaving, and you had everything else in the car, so why not the kitchen sink? ha,ha I like your humour. Anyway, have a fine day.

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  21. geweldig zo gaat het en niet anders.

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  22. Your relationship sounds just like ours!

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  23. Oh my! Whoever is in charge of tourism in Ludlow owes you. That picture alone makes me want to go there.

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  24. I laughed out loud at the mental image of the kitchen sink being stowed in the boot.

    Your astute observations on human interaction never cease to entertain.

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  25. We tend to go for the 'leisurely lunch' too and everything else gets put on hold or forgotten.

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  26. Actually, this sounds VERY familiar.

    ;)

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  27. Scary, but our days are often like this. He staying home is good. Dianne

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  28. H Friko - Ludlow is stunning and I must visit when I'm next up. Being on one's own can be advantageous .. though I have me and I to contend with .. ! Well Millie came off best from this situation ... I hope you can get in and get a few things done sometime soon .. good luck! Cheers Hilary

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  29. You have to decide if you are going to make it a play date, which means lunch together and maybe one errand, or if you are going to take care of some serious business and then you will have to go on your own. Unless, of course, you park your car downtown and you each do a set of errands on foot and meet at the pub for a delicious lunch afterwards. Is that possible?

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  30. Well, at least you remembered the kitchen sink.

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  31. The conversation with my DH would be very short. He hates shopping and even banks online, so is happy to stay at home while I go out gallivanting. :-) Lovely photos of Ludlow, which sadly we always bypass nowadays.

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