Saturday, 14 September 2013

Dark Days

From light to darkness - how soon things change. Before you know it black clouds roll in and overwhelm you.

Up until a few days ago I felt quite happy. It seemed that several longstanding problems melted away with the judicious application of tact and a small handful of folding money.  I had found a man with a van to collect and dispose of heaps of garden debris; I tried out a new helper in the garden and Gardener seemed to be pleased that the hardest tasks had been done in his absence. There was a spell of warm sunny weather to aid the passing of summer. My son and his wife came and mended a wardrobe whose door had not shut for a twelve month. An electrician fixed lamps and light switches and promised to return and repair the outdoor lights on the drive. My daughter-in-law asked me for family recipes, writing them down there and then. “These shouldn’t be lost”, she said. I had never known that she considered my cooking memorable, so I was highly flattered. I was quite overcome and gave her my mum’s dough kneading machine, which I had never used.

It felt good, things were falling into place; I don’t find happiness easy, bubbly is not the word I’d use to describe me; for me quiet optimism and contentment are very desirable mental attributes.

But now the rains have come and a dark cloud has settled on my mind too. For several days the AGA has refused to stay alight, which means the kitchen is cold and I cannot cook anything at all. We live off microwaveable ready meals and pub lunches. I have yet to find a ready meal we actually enjoy and the allure of pub food palls when you depend on it. Two supper guests programmed for tonight had to be uninvited. The repairman called twice: "short of a miracle the burner unit in the AGA has had it, it’s old age,” he said,” there’s nothing I can do.”  A new one will be £700 incl. of labour.  Ah well, if all the ailments that come with old age could be fixed with pennies and pounds we’d all save up and dance a merry dance instead of rubbing our creaking joints with arnica massage oils, hoping for relief from nasty arthritic twinges.

You may say why does this depress her so. After all, it can, and will be, fixed. Well chaps, there is something else, something that cannot be fixed. I found out this week that somebody whom I have known for over forty years, somebody very dear to me, actually deeply dislikes and resents me. True, we have seen little of each other for several years, and the relationship has cooled. But to learn that she has been keeping a careful tally of grievances and grudges, not only against me but a number of other people, with me as the main culprit, was a body blow, wholly unexpected, leaving me gasping for air.

The dark clouds have opened and shed their load; it’s raining outside and inside too.


  1. oh i love pub food but anything in excess def begins to lose its taste...ack...that person disliking you stings...esp if they have harbored it for so sad we can not just talk things out and let be you is far too short...

  2. Friko I was just going to turn my computer off when I saw you wrote a post. Actually you posted it several minutes ago and I saw it! It is quite something since I published my post last night and it still does not show as published on Blogger (some of my posts take days to update for some reason.)

    I feel for you with the misery of appliances going bad – it a nuisance. Making mistakes on friends is a much greater nuisance, and it hurts. I have been reading on friendship and have found that, depending of the culture, it can be very different for so many, but I was reading about the differences between US and other countries (and I’ll write a post on this later.) I am sorry for your loss, because losing your trust in a friend is terrible, but still, it is good that you found out. You are not to blame. I think it is like finding out someone was cheating on you, and that person was – making you feel she was a friend, but was not. You do not need that – forget it.

  3. Oh, Friko, I feel so sad for you, but I feel pity for anyone who would "keep a careful tally of grievances and grudges" against you and "a number of other people" — what a horrible way for her to live. You are still you, and not a culprit at all, whereas the griever and grudger has been through the agony of harboring those pains for years.
    I know you will bounce back from this blow. You will once again smile when thinking of your recipes being cherished. You will be happy when cooking real food with your new Aga.
    If you have been dealt a blow, and indeed you have, the other person has been dealt a jealous mind. It isn't a pretty saying, but I've always said, "All jealousy does is rot my gut." You are not the one with the stomach full of acid.
    In the meantime, there are many people around the world who know your worth and who admire you for it. I am one of them.
    Luv, K

  4. Ouch, rejection always stings. But I must add that her gunny sacked resentment speaks far more about darkness in her soul than it does about anything you have ever said or done. When you have a problem with someone else,the best question to ask first is why is this a problem for me.

    I love your pictures. You have a very artistic eye.

  5. Money can certainly oil the works, get things done....but it doesn't help what must feel like a betrayal.
    You must feel rotten.

    And what on earth makes someone harbour grudges, nursing their wrath to keep it warm, rather than come out with what troubles them in the hope of sorting things?
    I will never know the answer to that, though the saying 'no good deed goes unpunished' does come to mind.

    I've been looking at bought in ready meals for my mother while in England....mostly distinctly unattractive and relying heavily on chicken which she dislikes....and all we could come up with which suited her was a range of take away Indian meals from Asda.
    So she's still cooking.
    I do hope they mend your Aga soon to put heart back into both yourself and your house.

  6. I just finished writing a post about having been yelled at for something that I felt was not my fault, and how much it bothers me. That post is also not showing up in my news feed for some reason, same as Vagabonde (I'll go check her blog now). I know how difficult it is to have the dark days return after lots of good bright ones. You are still the same person as you were before your so-called friend started saving up her grievances. It's her problem, but I know it hurts anyway.

  7. As I read through your blog, Friko I was thinking - things go right and go wrong. And then I came to the last paragraph I was aghast to think that someone could be so deceitful as to pretend to be your friend when in truth she was anything but. The problem is with her, not you, and sometimes you just have to move on.

  8. My husband is gone to the library and I had a nice cup of tea with some fresh fig cake I had baked, and I was reflecting on your post. I thought (in French) that this person has un “coeur faux” or false heart. So, please do not grieve my friend as the Native Americans say, she was speaking with a forked tongue and is not worthy of a second of your thoughts.

  9. Stop thinking of her this minute! You cannot undo her treachery and deceit. Let it rain outside, but calm your thoughts and stop the inner deluge. You are better than that - get your optimism back. How good of you to give away the dough kneader to your d-i-l. It's raining here,too - but not in my heart.

  10. Oh. How truly awful and unsettling. Just the same, I think (hope) that she exemplifies the phrase 'hating someone is like taking poison'. I cannot think that she gets any happiness over her harboured grudges, real and imaginary.
    I hope that the rain in your soul lifts soon.

  11. Dear Friko,
    We lean towards cursing time as it marches on so quickly, in this instance may its speed bring with it a little balm.

  12. The poor woman. Imagine spending all that time stewing!

    We are at the end of summer also. I understand our gloom and rain begins tomorrow. Oh, yuck.

  13. Yes, that would knock me off my feet as well. One of the hardest things is not being accepted. But surely you know, dear one that all we can do is our best and there is no way that everyone is going to like us. At the same time, you don't have to like everybody. It just stings when we think our feelings of friendship are mutual but they turn out no to be.

  14. Oh my - that individual is the loser in all of this.. She is no doubt wearing a perpetual rain cloud over her head and is generally angry at the world. You and your friends are simply the closest targets. My belief is that we are better off in distancing ourselves from such downers. Speaking from recent experience here - left a small group because of one sour soul who took great pleasure in being critical of others and myself from start to finish regarding our son's wedding - an event she was not even invited to - ah, there's the rub...

  15. When. I read the bit about your daughter in law my heart fluttered a bit for you, for that was such a nice thing for her to say, and what a caring kind gesture it inspired in you, so getting to the end seems ironic to be balanced with a duplicitous frenemy! That must have hurt, and sparked off a whole lot of questions in you, I know it would have kept me awake.
    Thankfully she is NOT in your atmosphere anymore, snip the last cord between you and let her go, she can swim around in her own bitterness.......while you no doubt will receive some home made, nourishing bread.

  16. Friko, as always, your writing beautifully tells us readers so much. Your photographs add to the story.

    Have I not written before how much I hope to someday sit and talk with you. How it cheers me to know, particularly after reading this post, that we might actually have that long chat in a month's time.

    I hope that the AGA will be mended or replaced by then. If not, we shall include the paucity of microwaving in our chat. I want to hear more about your garden, the Age of Aquarius, music, and so much more. I hope that you will also be a bit curious to learn a bit more about my life that does not really feature in my posts.

    Positive vibrations, yeah. As the reggae song goes. Or even the Dalai Lama suggests. Negative vibrations can also grow to a harvest.


  17. Awful when an assumed friend, particularly of longstanding, turns out not to be a friend. Yet in the darkness, so many things to celebrate. This one I found particularly moving: "My daughter-in-law asked me for family recipes, writing them down there and then. 'These shouldn’t be lost,' said." She's talking about more than the recipes there, I'm sure of it, and she's right.

  18. Hate is such a strong word, but, there it is. I hate it when these things happen. Not the AGA or the rain, they can be fixed or the sun will come out, but, when it happens with friends, it is akin to being punched and having the wind taken out of us. So sorry, Friko.

    I enjoy your writing. I didn't know what was coming with this piece, which you did so well, with a perfect picture to accompany the mood.

    Feel better soon.

  19. Friko, I think it's been a strange week for many of us. Hopefully your Aga will be fixed soon. I would miss ours terribly. The heating coil needed to be replaced once, but it wasn't too expensive. Here in the US, it's a matter of finding someone who knows what an Aga is.

    As for your 'friend of 40 years'... my thought is to not accept that this new info is the whole truth. There is probably some misunderstanding that can be cleared up. I would meet with her and talk this out (unless you already have). But I would not give up a friendship of this length lightly. You may have to (and I agree with the 'distancing yourself from deceptive people')), but just be sure of the facts first.

    Love that water picture!

  20. This post made me sad for you. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine recently. A mutual friend sent her a flaming email that was threatening, demanding, and hurtful. My friend was crushed. I was shocked in some ways, and not surprised in other ways because I had this dark side to her lurking in other encounters. I guess what shocked me was the dishonesty of so called friends. I also questioned whether this woman was ill, was her mental stability slipping. She has seemed not quite herself lately. She is forgetful and not on top of things. One never knows. I know if it were me, I'd just distance myself. Who needs this from people who want to keep grievances? These things hurt so badly. I hope the sun comes back soon for you.

    It is raining, and raining, and raining some more here. That is not our usual weather. I can see how depressing it would be to have a betrayal on top of having to buy a new stove when the sun refuses to shine. Truly, Friko, I hope things start looking up for you.

  21. Oh, Friko! I hope so fervently that this rift with that long-time friend is a misunderstanding. Have you talked with her? Is the report of her dislike of you coming directly from her or from someone else? If from someone else, could there be a reason of his or her own for being the bearer of such hurtful news? In your spot, I would feel much as you do: sad, betrayed, bewildered. But a friendship of such length might be worth the effort of talking it over and trying to discover what is driving you apart and what might bring you back together again. Late in life -- in her early 80's -- my Aunt Molly had a falling out with a friend of many years. When they finally talked, they were able to pinpoint problems each had with their relationship. After the untimely death of her daughter, her only child, Dorothy filled the void of her grief with a major crush on a famous actor (Michael Crawford) and Molly would sometimes get impatient with the constant carrying on about "Michael" as if he were an intimate friend. After they had talked and cried together, they were able to get their friendship back on track. It wasn't easy or instantaneous. But by the time Aunt Molly died at 86, she and Dorothy were close and comforting to each other once again. I hope, if you feel the friendship worth saving, that you'll have a similar, or even better, result. In the meantime, my heart goes out to you.

  22. Alas, my brother has decided that I am responsible for his unhappiness. . . but as one of your friends has said above: "Snip the cord" and free yourself of such. Life truly is too short. Sometimes I feel badly used by life as well. Refusing to succumb is my revenge. Here's hoping you find yours soon - and get back to preparing your apparently memorable meals! Well expressed, dear. this too shall pass

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3

  23. Hi Friko - the Aga is a pain ... but better now than later in the Autumn or Winter.

    Grievances flooding up though from another human seems a little strange after over 40 years .. difficult to suggest not knowing the circumstances - I'd ignore if possible, put to the back of your mind and get on ... as others have said "snip the cord" ... I hope you can do so - and take that depressive cloud away .. there are too many others who value you ..

    The shining lining always wins out ... the clouds part and the sun comes through again - and you've achieved so much .. with the heavy loads up and away so Gardener can do the thing he enjoys the most - working with you and with the garden ..

    I hope the weather has improved too - it was tipping it down over Bristol and into Somerset a couple of days ago .. though here in Sussex it looks like we haven't had much ...

    With thoughts - Hilary

  24. Hi Friko - then of course I forgot your D-in-L's request for recipes - that's so heart warming and I'm so pleased for you ... I hope you garner lots together for her ...

    The Care Home owner who bought my mother's business - chucked out hers ... didn't offer them to the family! Incredible but true ... Hilary

  25. Dear Friko - I can and feel the first part of your post - been there - felt that - that part always comes at the most unexpected moments, but that will eventually work out. I would cry and hug my daughter if I were asked to write down the recipes before they were lost - I wouldn't want them to be lost either. Most of my Mom's recipes are in my head - you know what I'm saying when I say a pinch of this and a pinch of that.
    I do not have a gardener - I do all the work myself and enjoy it.....however, in winter I have someone plough the driveway and a young girl comes and shovels the snow away from around car and steps and decks and a path in the yard for wee doggie:)
    My mind was blown away at the latter part of your post to learn about your friend of over 40 years. I have such a close friend and we have been "Best" friends since high school and I would be floored if something like that happened to me. How a person could keep grievances or grudges held within that amount of time escapes me. However, being the person my parents taught me to be, I have grown to understand that people will surprise you and continue to surprise you, shock you and continue to shock you. This is really strange behavior after such a length of time and truly would have brought a black cloud of despair around you. Not knowing your friend or the circumstances dear Friko, just do not let this fill your mind with sad thoughts. I have been through many painstaking moments and the longer we dwell on them the sadder, sicker or more depressing your own live becomes. Hard to understand, hard to comprehend, depressing to think about, but the mind and heart can be eased if you choose the path of light out of the darkness. The ache will remain with unanswered questions perhaps, but do not let them grind away at you and keep you in the darkness. Sometimes its harder to let go, if something cannot be resolved after so much time and good memories. Hope it all works out for you - Lilly

  26. I understand how someone's hidden anger can hurt like a blow to the chest. So sorry, and hope they are not living too close, because this can be such a sour experience. Some people are like golden sunlight and others are like black clouds. You must consciously removed this from your thoughts and look at tomorrow. I have someone in my volunteer group that has been saying something negative about how the group is organized or something(!) because I am getting a cautious feeling when I work with the other volunteers. I know she says things often behind people's back because when I first met her she used to criticize others to me. I must continue to work with her, but do not let myself care and perhaps will do this only one more year. My water heater has been out for days and it will not be fixed until next week. Cold showers are a challenge in the cool fall. Seems we are plowing along a similar field these days.

  27. ja ze hoeren er echt bij maar de herfst heeft soms ook hele mooie dagen.

  28. I expect the person hates herself really and is projecting it on to you. She is the one with the problem, don't allow it to taint your life. I shall focus on the good points in this post. And when the Aga is repaired all will be warm again.

  29. Your appliance can be fixed, but the toll on your mind and body from this heartless person may not be fixable,if you let it fester. It's easy for us to say..."Forget about it," so I won't say that. She must be a very troubled person to carry on the way she has.You can't control the situation but you can control how you handle it. I read somewhere to follow one of 3 F words...Flight, Fight or Flow. Don't let this situation control you. Life is too short to let someone else affect your health.
    Wish I could give you a hug...Balisha

  30. What once was lost now is found. I discovered a friend from long ago who dropped me suddenly with no explanation 20 years ago now wants to renew our friendship. Dementia has it's upside. Dianne

  31. Oh Friko, have I ever been there. Though my association with not one person but with several was only 10 years, we had spent a lot of time together. Here I thought we were all very close friends, perhaps even best friends, until one day when we all got together, the chill towards me was so apparent it was like a gut punch. What followed was a verbal list of grievances from over the years from one person and a written letter from another with her own list of grievances. It was quite a shock to learn that the person who eventually spoke to me never really liked me very much at all. I'll tell you in all honesty it took me months to recover, to get angry instead of hurt, and then finally to let go altogether. I had other friends who stood by me during that time.

  32. "...quiet optimism and contentment are very desirable mental attributes" for me as well. Life goes up and down, up and down . . . and our emotional responses as well. In your post, Good Stuff, Good Stuff, Good Stuff, a mechanical difficulty and the absolute boredom and ruination of Fun (eating "out" food all the time) . . . and then the friend who isn't a friend. You must have felt as if the bottom had dropped out when you found out about her and her ratpacking of others' sins!
    Forget about her. You've lived quite well without her for, lo, these many years, so why bother yourself about her now? I can tell you, with some authority, that piling up labeled stacks of Evil Done To One is tiresome and painful, so she's making her own hell. She need not affect you the same way as she does herself.
    Get yourself that new AGA (whatever it is . . . sounds like the old-fashioned stove my grandmother had in the kitchen that burned wood, heated the room, and cooked the food) and make up some of those never-to-be-forgotten recipes. You'll feel better, even if it continues to rain outdoors.

  33. Even in your hurt and depression you can't write a bad post, Friko. The balance of light and dark, pleasure and pain in memorable. I think I agree with those who have said that your erstwhile friend is the one who has a more lastingproblem, and saying that is not to diminish the hurt she has caused you. To need to feed on grudge and grievance is so sad and demeaning. I hope you can cut the cord and move on in time.

    As for the Aga, let's hope it's mended soon. I would love to have an Aga and can imagine how you miss it.

  34. I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad, Friko. I really hope that the dark clouds lift soon, but something like the betrayal you describe, is hard indeed to deal with.

    I hope you manage to avoid feeling angry with this person - that just perpetuates the distress and unpleasantness. And hopefully some good things will come along sooner rather than later.

  35. Dearest Friko, I am so sorry -- That last betrayal is indeed the unkindest cut of all. Money problems and repairs are never good. The loss of a friend is so very, very hurtful.

    I hope as Kathy McCoy said, that perhaps the rift is shared with you for a reason from another that isn't quite what it seems and that if possible, you can find out the reason so at least you aren't out there... maybe talk it though... And if you can't, then I hope you can look at the joy in your life -- the daughter-in-law, the gardener and THE Gardener and so much more and let that guide your world. And yes, I know that is far easier said than done. I'll be thinking of you and hope your slouds lift soon.

  36. No, Friko, I don't see you as bubbly, but I have seen your smile and have been there as you shared your pleasure in where you live. I have come to believe that you are, like me, a pragmatic optimist. 'No' you say 'not an optimist'....but I disagree, because of your garden. No one could keep a garden like yours and not look forward with some pleasant anticipation. I like the way you look at the problems that creep in every day and the ones that come around only once in a while - like the £700 Aga bill. It's just money, and comfort and good food are more important. As far as the friendship of forty years goes, it must be very hard. You don't strike me as someone who offers or accepts friendship easily, so this has to be a blow. From a distance, it seems to me that there is something very, very sad happening with this person - perhaps a breakdown of some sort or a change to her mental condition. It happens, and there is no understanding it. I know you're not asking for advice, but I'll push in and give it any way - I hope you won't spend too much time worrying about what might have been said or done in the past. I'll bet there was nothing at all, and that it's all in her head. Keep looking at the ones who love and value you, at your garden - and at your blogging friends, who look forward to exchanges with you - to your sometimes acerbic but always appreciated wit, your poetry, your photos and your stories of the everyday in your part of the world.

  37. Oh Friko, so the real darkness showed up at the end of your post: a feeling of betrayal. Is it possible that this person has an emerging mental health problem? It's hard to imagine that your antennae were out of tune for such a long time. Something may be a-changing in this person's mind.
    As to the microwave dinners... when we cook, we often freeze portions to make the most of our labours. You could be reheating your own culinary achievements.
    The gardening/logistical successes were real and should still be savored. Here's hoping the clouds lift quickly.

  38. I had that happen to me--a woman I felt close to and spent a lot of time with for over 30 years suddenly revealed how she really felt about me. A nurse--who thought I should be able to "mind over matter" my health issues like they were all in my head and not real. Told me my son and DIL were going to hate me if they had to be taking care of me--if I had more faith I would be pain free--she struck blows everywhere--on every level a person could be attacked. It was a deep blow. It is hard to find out that somebody isn't being honest with you and hiding their true self, their true opinions. You'll get over it. She has a problem.

    I'm glad everything else is going okay or can be fixed with a little cash. Your heart will heal. Just takes some time. You'll get your bearings again. *love and hugs* :)

  39. As the darker days of autumn come I'm sorry that these dark clouds have settled upon you as well. The Aga is just a thing, irritating and costly, but the real darkness is the deception of your erstwhile friend. It's when human interactions take sideways turns that we are dismayed. As others have said, focus on the the many good things in your life. I pray that "quiet optimism and contentment" will soon be your mental state again.

  40. The karmic balance of your post!

    This old "friend", honestly Friko, she sounds mentally ill. To harbour grudges and whinges like this. Yes, you need time to process this. Of course. We all do when such wallops hit us. But as you say, the friendship had faded anyway. No loss.

    Just think about DIL and the recipe requests and your gifting of your mama's machine.

    How lovely is that?


  41. Autumn does bring with it sadness as the earth begins to chill and hibernates its glory for the coming year - a year that will come much to soon as age speeds up time. Grey skies do not help. Nevertheless, autumn lives in the skirts of summer and we feed off her harvest and the sun remains as a fond memory in rosy apples and a promise she will return next year.

    Your friend Friko, do not let her hurt you as she is misdirecting, casting blame for her own unhappiness.

    Do so hope the rain inside stops soon.

    Kind regards
    Anna :o]

  42. The days are certainly darker, shorter and at the moment wetter. It seems like summer only started yesterday!! Take it easy Diane

  43. What you write at the end of this post is enough to cast a dark cloud over anyone's mind. Add to that the real dark clouds outside, and Aga problem, and nobody can blame you for the inside rain.
    I do wish for the sun to come back to you, both inside and out, soon.

  44. So hard when a friend turns. One feels one cannot trust one's mind again..It happened to me and, as more information surfaced it became clear that the person was very confused and caught in a trap within herself. Wait awhile and say nothing. Your 'friend' has her own struggle to sort out. I am pleased though that your daughter-in-law now sees you as someone to preserve.

  45. You have so many wise friends, I am reluctant to voice my opinion. But it rings a bell, evokes a memory of when one of my dearest, life long friends turned on me. I was so distressed I rang her husband to see if he could explain what I had done to upset her so much. I'm ashamed to say my initial reaction to the news that she had been diagnosed with alzheimers was a relief. I doubt that someone with your judgement could have been wrong about your friend for so long. Where her present attitude is springing from may be a mystery and may never be revealed but I doubt you could have been fooled all those years. An aunt used to say what money can't fix, time usually does. I hope you feel better in time.

  46. Friko, understand so much you shared on this post. Just know there is one
    thousands of miles away and enjoys your sharing, pictures and words and can
    relate to so much in your writing. A better day hoped for you.
    Also one for me as I recover from a horrid fall. Different comments from each of my 4 children that I will not share.
    Will continue one day at a time and think of my blessings
    and yours...

  47. I'm so sorry, dear Friko. There is so much of what you've written here that I can currently connect to. About happiness and friendship, and the whole way of seeing this unpredictable world. I hope you get over such ungrateful, duplicate hearts; may be they are not worth wasting so much time and emotions for.

  48. Friko, I'm sorry you are hurting. Your friend sounds like she really doesn't like her own self too much if she can be tallying up perceived grievances about you and others. It speaks more of the kind of person she is than who you are. But I understand how painful that still is. She has been a false friend and that kind of realization shakes us to the core. We all have instances when we're a bit irritated with friends. For this friend to keep track of and build a case of these displeasures without attempting to address them is out of your control. You are still you. She's who she always was - you might just not have realized exactly who she was until recently. I'm sorry for that loss of trust and comfort. But as for friendship - that loss is hers.

  49. Friko, what a tough time. As for appliances that break down, they can be replaced (at a price of course) and then you have renewal. But the person who is holding so much negativity, that can't be fixed. It's over to her. Nothing about you. but lots about her. Maybe she is not strong on self love right now, and now puts her negativity on to others. I hope the sun will shine for you soon.

  50. It is interesting how people handle situations differently. I'm quite emotional, and find I do tend to hold a grudge if I have been wronged. If someone wrongs my children, well, I'm doubly tough. My oldest daughter is 19 years old. She had a room mate for a whole year whom she thought was a "best" friend. Come to find out, the girl confronted her and said they were not best friends, in fact they weren't even friends. My daughter was hurt. She is a kind soul... and forgiving. Upon graduation, when all the kids stepped up to get diplomas, my husband and I did not clap for this friend. She had been false to our daughter, mean spirited, nasty. When they were moving out of their dorms, my daughter hugged her good bye and was so sweet to her.

    I was amazed. I asked her how she could do that. She said "It's her problem, I can't do anything about her attitude but I can mine. She must have something bad going on inside - I can't do anything about that, but I can about the way I treat her.

    Well... I told my husband she ... we need to take a lesson from her!

    Sorry so long, but a 19 year old girl - my daughter - this is her philosophy of life. If only all the world would take note... ?


  51. Betrayal is never a good thing but you have built so many good moments into your life that now, when it's dark and dreary in and out, you can reach into those stored happinesses and pull some out. That and time should see you through.


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