Saturday 20 October 2012

Gardener’s Tales




Before Gardener’s ministrations this week the garden was rather colourful,  ash tree and ornamental cherry had left the ground and small shrubs covered in a layer of gold and red. I felt almost sorry when this glorious carpet disappeared by means of his rake. There are plenty more leaves to come, of course, it’s just that the early drop-outs are particularly pretty. But they need raking and collecting,  otherwise they’d soon turn mushy and slippery. I do, however, leave them lying on the borders for worms and beetles to dispose of during the winter months.


When tea break came, Gardener told me a story which is too good to leave unrecorded. In a past life he was  the cowman on one of the oldest estates in the county,  dating back to the twelfth century, which is still owned by the original family, although the current branch can ‘only’ trace its roots back to the 16th century. 

©  Gill Cardy ARPS
PLOWDEN HALL, LYDBURY NORTH, SOUTH SHROPSHIRE, 


Gardener has often told me about his cows; he knew them all and they recognised him as their master. He took care of them,  called the vet when they needed attention,  chased them down the lane when one or two decided to go walkabout and played them loud music. “They loved it”, he said, “well, I did, anyways.”

Every morning the Lord came to the milking parlour while Gardener was in the pit between two rows of cows, attaching the cups for milking. The Lord kept a record of the previous day’s yield and while he made notes, he and gardener discussed general matters pertaining to the herd. One morning the Lord was in a hurry. He turned up in his hunting pink, obviously ready to join the hunt as soon as he’d finished in the parlour.

“He always came through the dairy”, Gardener said, "and stood in the entrance to the parlour near the head of the first cow and wrote in his little book. This day he tried to come in past the cows from the other end. He must have pushed the last cow as he tried to squeeze past. They don’t like being disturbed during milking, I never spoke to them loud, just kept quiet and steady.”

“So, there he was, all shiny and clean and polished,” Gardener continued, “ and when he pushed the cow, she coughed. Just the once.” Gardener’s face cracked into a wicked grin. He pursed his lips and blew a gigantic raspberry, much as the cow must have done from her southern end. “Oh, he didn’t like it at all,” he said, “ all down his front it was; she was a bit loose too, nice and wet.”

“Furious, he was.” Gardener chuckled, and then his face became thoughtful. "He should have known what would happen, him owning a large herd and a landowner and all. No, I tell you, cows don’t like being disturbed during milking. Nice and steady is what they like.”



54 comments:

  1. I would have loved to see the Gardener's expression as he told this story. You paint the word picture quite well, however. Ha!

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  2. In 1985 when we travelled throughout England Jerry and I stayed at a B&B on a working dairy farm. Early risers, we were delighted when the owner invited us to come with him to see his cows being milked. Luckily I do not have a story such as Gardener told, but I truly was fascinated with the placid look on the faces of those animals as they were hooked up for the morning's milking. I'd guess these cows have the same feeling of relief when milking starts that we women who nursed our own babies felt at feeding time......ahhhhhhhh!

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  3. I have actually milked cows in an earlier life and this is so true. They are creatures of habit and do not like changes during the milking.

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  4. First - those leaves - how I envy you next year's wonderful leaf mould. We have only cedar and pine at Pondside, and a few arbutus. The arbutus leaves are thick and leathery and don't compost well. I have been known to go into town the day of leaf pick-up to fill sacs full of leaves to bring home.
    I loved your gardener's story - all the right elements of comeuppance for the Lord!

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  5. This is the kind of story that would soon be famous in our neck of the woods. It bears a certain resemblance to the classic Jack Tales.

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  6. Haha! Good post. I have to say it sounds as if this place was positively Victorian!

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  7. Gardener is quite right.
    When as youngsters we were at my grandfather's farm the herdsman would not let us near the sheds at milking time in case we upset his girls.
    Lovely story, though!

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  8. I've only watched a milking once in my life. I wish I could have stayed a few more days.

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  9. I'm a city girl and even I know that!

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  10. Priceless, Friko! He really should have known better. :-) Your leaves look wonderful.

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  11. hahahaha....that is awesome....lol...i am going to be chuckling about that one for a bit...hehe...

    raking will begin soon here....lots of color change but not much falling yet...

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  12. Oh how wonderful it looks in that garden. Tea with a gardener yielded a fabulous tale. I wonder how the cows that are milked at public fares must feel. No quiet there!

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  13. I can understand your reluctance to part with those leaves -- they're spectacular! That's an absolutely gorgeous picture. And I loved the story! So down-to-earth and really funny!

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  14. So glad you recorded Gardener's story, Friko. I bet his Lordship didn't go round the back end again.

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  15. Oh my that sure was a great story, it took me back to my youth and the stories I could tell about my farm days and milking cows, but your Gardeners story is a fabulous one, couldn't get any better. I had a great chuckle.

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  16. That story is priceless. Ha!!!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  17. I wonder if Gardener misses his herd ? I'm sure you could fit at least a couple of cows in your garden somewhere .

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  18. You know the part of the story I like the most? The mental picture of a man off for a hunt in polished pink.

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  19. I love this. And I think it is the first time I have heard of a person who wasn't a King, a Queen or a lord of the realm in a previous life. A cowman is much more useful. Thank you so much for this post.

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  20. Tea with Gardener resulted in a lot of pleasure for you and for your readers. I can just picture it. And giggle.

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  21. I think I like your Gardener. He seems to be a man of common sense and I usually do like people like that. Lords of the Manor are short of it very often. That's why the rely on people like your Gardener. Bless him and his cows.

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  22. Wonderful story, Friko. It certainly shows up His Lordship for the foolish fop he was. And gives us a good laugh.
    K

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  23. Friko, do you know that line from a Joni Mitchell tune...I really don't clouds at all.

    Same goes for that Lord who knew nothing about cows. Bravo to Gardener, and also please send best wishes to him from the States on his continuing good health.

    And, dear Friko, many thanks for this post with its autumn glories and wonderful reporting of human humour.

    xo

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  24. Loved the story! I guess the Lord learned his lesson, or we can hope so.

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  25. Ha Ha, good story Friko. I bet it ruined his day! - Dave

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  26. Hi Friko - what a great story ... the true locals and those close to the land know about life don't they .... we need rather more of them in this present life. Gardener is a joy to read about - you have such a wonderful way of telling us your stories ... I can certainly just see the scene! Not easy to clean off either ... oh dear - good for a laugh many years on ...

    I went to the laundry room at Killerton, Somerset when I was travelling back .. to see the laundry racks et al - amazingly horrid thought .... amazing house to view ...

    Cheers Hilary

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  27. Was fuer eine lustige Geschichte! :-)

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  28. Do you think Gardener would mind your writing his biography? He sounds like a character with a fascinating view on life.

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  29. Another great story well told by both Gardener and you.

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  30. prachtig verhaal bij een hele mooie tuin.

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  31. Frico, love your post! I think many people like to be nice and steady.

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  32. A funny story, Friko, which is rich in meaning. Animals have a way of bring humility to those who most need it.

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  33. How much could be accomplished if we were all to be quiet and steady on! Funny how those that consider themselves immaculate will brush past the "south end of a cow." :)

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  34. Oh, Gardener is quite perfect. This is a beautiful story, well told and quite wonderful. Thank you for sharing it!

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  35. Haha! That's a great story; how I pity the poor Lord!

    The carpet of leaves look beautiful, and if I were you, I too would think of letting them stay awhile before the big bad rake comes along.

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  36. Can you hear me laughing? I have always worried about walking behind the cows at our county fair.
    Balisha

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  37. The worms and beetles in your garden must grow sleek and fat and thus so do the birds and foxes (and badgers before they hibernate)
    No amount of money or property will turn a fool into a wise man!

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  38. What a great story, Friko.

    And beautiful pictures of your garden. I love the colorful autumn ;)

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  39. What a wicked chuckle that brought out of me this rainy afternoon.

    Our leaves are falling fast and furiously now. Unfortunately, it is raining, so they will be mush. Oh well. I love all the worms that we find underneath them.

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  40. Everyone should have someone with whom they can spend time who has wonderful stories to tell. The Gardener sounds like such a fine man.

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  41. That's a funny story! Love the autumn colours in your garden.

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  42. Dear Friko, a lovely story. Endearing. Slow and steady. Peace.

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  43. That lovely fall carpet of leaves does create a conundrum, doesn't it, though in the end the treacherous walking it creates must win the argument. Gardener's story is beyond price. I do see again, as I often do here, a collection forming into a book of country tales. May we hope?

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  44. Thanks to you - and gardener - for sharing this. How on earth did he manage not to burst out laughing at his lord and master? It certainly had me chuckling!

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  45. Sounds as if Gardener did not like his Lord. We just raked our small yard this morning. Got the first of many leaves to fall. Dianne

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  46. all I can say (after laughing my self silly) is... Oh Lordie!

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  47. ... a farm owner, not a farmer. Delightful story :)

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  48. The cow had the last "word," you might say.

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  49. PS I love seeing your garden as the season changes.

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  50. Hahaha! I've often wondered what I'm missing by living in a 'young' country (in terms of colonial history, anyway). Thank you for solving that mystery!!!

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  51. "Just the once".... brilliant pacing of the story.

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  52. A wonderful story! And how I hope you find another dog soon.

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  53. I love your photo's and the story. Best wishes Karen.

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