Thursday 31 May 2012

Man's Best Friend






My Benno is getting seriously old. At eleven-and-a-half - the 'half' is very important in a dog's life - he is old for a labrador, and it shows. Summer's heat is doing him no favours, every step, even in the cool of the morning and evening, causes him to pant heavily, deep in his throat, with a harsh, rasping sound. His hind legs are withering with arthritis, and when he forgets that he is old and tries to jump about in greeting or excitement, they give under him, and he falls over. I found him in great trouble yesterday, collapsed on the floor, all four legs sticking out at right angles, unable to get to his feet by his own efforts. I gently arranged his legs so that I could push him over on to his side, from where he eventually managed to get upright again. But he was seriously distressed, issuing soft yelping notes, which broke my heart. We've tried various medications, but nothing seems to make much difference. Apart from that, he appears happy and is terribly keen on his food, like most dogs and certainly all labradors.

The bond between human and dog runs deep. It's around 14,000 years since Stone Age hunters domesticated Canis familiaris - humans have had a long time to perfect their relationship with dogs. Today we say that a dog is man's - and woman's - best friend, a buddy for as long as the animal lives and a great sorrow when that life comes to its end.

Having a dog keeps us young, they are good for blood pressure and waistline. regular daily walks keep owner and dog in trim. Dog owners are always glad to stop and talk to each other, which is good for mental health too, they rarely suffer the unremitting loneliness of the wholly solitary human; forced to go out, they meet other people. Walking a dog is a fail-safe device for an ad hoc, unthreatening approach to strangers. When, as a woman, I'm out in the fields and woods walking a dog, coming across a man on his own in a lonely spot instantly turns from a potential reason for flight-or-fight syndrome to a no-threat, cosy 'hello, nice day' encounter.

There is an unbreakable bond of love, trust and companionship between a dog and its human. In exchange for food, shelter and care, the owner receives lifelong loyalty. Even a dog who is ill-treated is utterly loyal and will protect its owner with every ounce of muscle strength and a full set of snarling teeth. Farmers are known for their lack of sentimentality towards animals - just think of whole flocks of once cute, gambolling little lambs, squeals of piglets and soulful, deep-eyed calves  euphemistically 'going to market' - and they don't always treat their working dogs kindly, but I have yet to see a border collie or gun dog repay its master with disobedience.

Dogs don't run off with a new partner. They don't stab you in the back. They don't turn into surly adolescents or become uncaring, neglectful adult children. They don't argue, they never nag, when they hear your footsteps their tails thump the floor in welcome and they turn ecstatic somersaults the minute you walk in the door, after you've left them on their own for a while. You could say that dogs are creeps, but I prefer not to. They love a cuddle and have an unerring instinct for your state of mind. They will fill any emotional vacuum in your life with trusting eyes and unconditional warmth. Sigmund Freud said  his dog gave him 'affection without ambivalence, the simplicity of a life free from the almost unbearable conflicts of civilisation ... a feeling of intimate affinity, of an undisputed solidarity'. I couldn't have said it better myself :-).

I'm praying for cooler weather and no thunderstorms. Benno fears all loud, unexpected noises, thunderclaps in particular. If there should be some, you can be sure that two elderly humans will be crouching on the floor, huddled protectively over their even more elderly dog, making soothing noises.




64 comments:

  1. This account just breaks my little, dog-loving heart. These epidsodes are preparatory. May the three of you be well and find comfort with each other.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, what a tender loving tribute to Benno. I'm praying that he will gain in strength.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A beautiful post, and a most fitting tribute to Benno, and all of our furry companions. The Freud quote is perfect. Praying for comfort and joy in Benno's life and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello:
    We were somewhat saddened to read this post. It is, as we know from experience, so very distressing to watch the ageing process taking place in a very much loved, and long standing, pet and where one is, as the owner, fairly powerless to relieve the symptoms which can cause, if not actual suffering [which we are sure that you, and other pet owners, would never tolerate], then a gradual and slow decline. Where Benno is concerned you are obviously doing all that you can. One day a decision will have to be taken; it is to be hoped not for some time yet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah, may Benno's remaining days be full of delicious meals and a strong sense of your affection. Sounds like he's enjoying both already.

    Your depiction of the relationship and benefits of dogs is far from what we saw in Turkey, where families don't have "pets" per se, so dogs and cats--with no population control--roam wildly. Turks put out bowls of food each day for whichever come by, but mostly, running into a dog (unless it's owned by an expat) in Turkey means running into a feral beast with matted fur and goop running from its eyes. They live in packs and hunt together, even. Good thing people like you are trying to make inroads there and open up some shelters, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  6. hope you get that cooler weather...i want to get a pups for the boys soon, they are at the age they will really appreciate them and can grow up the next couple years together....i still remember mine growingup..he was a hound...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Benno's legs giving under him when he tries to jump remind me so much of my Pukky; that was what she was like during the last weeks of her life. Not because of arthritis, but simply because she grew weaker by the day, and in the end didn't even manage to jump on the (very low) settee without someone helping her up.
    I guess that is what most of us so love in our pets, cats or dogs, that they simply accept us the way we are, regardless of looks, shape, age, political, religious or sexual orientation.

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh my. I know what you mean. We had the most wonderful boxer. she was the sweetest dog ever. she eventually got a cancerous growth on her leg and because she was elderly (11, I think, old for a boxer), the vet didn't advise surgery. so either the surgery would kill her or the growth. eventaully if got baseball sized and then started growing so fast that her skin couldn't keep up. one day it split open and was just putrid so we knew it was only a matter of time before she died from blood poisoning. being poor we couldn't afford a vet to do the thing so we contacted the humane society who would do it for free. taking her in, she was still doing her happy dog thing, smelling everything, wagging her tail. well, the humane society did not live up to it's name. No gently giving her a sedative first. two burly men came in, one grabbed her while I held her head looking her in the face, while another gave her the shot that stopped her heart. It was traumatic for her and us. still makes my cry to think of it and it was many many years ago. we haven't had the courage to get another dog since.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love dogs too we had one years ago, but unfortunately when you travel a cat is easier. But cat or dog, it's true they never betray you. It's really a very good age for a Labrador ! I hope for you that he continues for a couple of years, it's so hard to say good bye to somebody who has shared your life for such a long time. When my first cat died after 20 years it was just terrible ! I will never forget her, we have a little graveyard in our garden where all our animals are burried. 4 cats, 1 dog, 1 guinea pig, a hedgehog (who came every day for 2 years) and a little rabbit.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You know what they say... If you want to know who loves you most, your wife or your dog, simply lock them both in the trunk (boot) of your car for 30 minutes and see which one is glad to see you when you open it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Forgot to add how much I love dogs. God is surely Dog spelled backwards.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A very touching tribute, one which all dog lovers will appreciate. I am so sorry to hear of Benno's legs splaying out beneath him; it's not a good sign. That marked the beginning of the end for our beloved Border Collie. May Benno's last days be filled with loving comfort. Jim

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Friko, just as long as there are more good days than bad....as I write this with a 10 year old "stray" at my feet. The pound was going to euthanize him, without even putting him up for adoption, as they consider any dog over seven unlikely to be saved. Hugs to Benno and yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know I am a great fan of dogs. My dogs are all under 12 pounds so I can lift them. I like big dogs, but they are difficult to handle as you and they age. David carries our old gal Peaches, now 17 and weighing 8 pounds, too and fro so she can use the gravel walk for a pee and to sniff around the flower beds. She cannot get up and down stairs at all any more. Peaches visited the vet this morning for her Bordatella shot and the vet says she looks good.

    I hope things cool off for Benno. I know you love him very much. Dianne

    ReplyDelete
  15. I hope the weather cools off for Benno...a big dog can be hard to help, just because of the weight.

    My old Sausage, a Fauve de Bretagne, loved her walks, but at some point would decide enough was enough and plonk down there and then, so it was a question of hoisting her up in my arms and carrying her back home - a heavy armful of hairy dog.
    Well worth it for the pleasure her walks gave her...but I was younger and fitter then.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Friko:
    I've found with my elderly arthiritic dogs that a baby aspirin with the morning feed has relieved all pain.
    I am so saddened to read of the aging of Benno, heart breaking stuff I've faced more than a few times.
    I offer you this anon poem which really helped me through such trials:
    Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world
    is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

    Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your
    hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more
    quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.

    Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
    as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your
    footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

    Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated
    animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater
    glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.

    Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.

    Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do
    your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able
    to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

    And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health,
    hearing and sight, do make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not
    having any fun.

    Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this Earth
    knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in
    your hands.

    XO
    WWW

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dogs are a mens best friend.

    Greetings,
    Filip

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh, poor Benno! It is so hard to see our dear old friends getting very old. Dogs teach us humans about unconditional love. This brought tears to my eyes. Benno knows how much you love him back. :):)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Your lovely post makes me wish I had a dog. Well, not really. I have a cat who provides me with just enough company to make her worth having. And my husband is allergic to dogs.

    But I like the idea that walking a dog forces a person outside and into contact with others. I hadn't thought of it that way. The cat would never tolerate a leash!

    ReplyDelete
  20. We have two cats and no dog, so the affection without ambivalence Freud describes is not, at least some would say, apt for cats, and certainly there is no community of cat walkers! Yet I do so recognize what you describe in living with an aging animal. It is heart-wrenching, and so difficult to discern what is best. A healthy appetite is a great indicator of continued zest for life, so that is good, and, yes indeed, to the thunder I add my voice in saying hie thee hence.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Friko I'm so sorry that Benno has reached this stage and feel for your distress. Hopefully the cooler weather is now making him more comfortable. Though a cat rather than a dog person (partly because my DH is definitely not a dog person) I still found your post very moving and true. One of the many sorrowful aspects of my mother's sudden death 30 years ago was the need to have her very elderly Labrador X bitch put to sleep, as she was far too old and ill to adapt to a new home. The pain of loss is the price we pay for loving anyone, human or animal.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Friko, I think you were talking about our Dafi, including the last paragraph (noises of thunderstorms and such - we use to close her ears with our hands!). She is eleven now, still fitter than your Benno, but already now we are afraid of losing her, she is with us since she was a small puppy. She is the sweetest dearest most loving creature and we enjoy every minute and moment with her!
    Thank you for singing such a praise song about those wonderful animals - man's best friend indeed! :-)
    Love and dear strokes to Benno!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I just said this at another blog...

    And yes, it hurts so much to lose someone that loved you so unconditionally. (It is equally hard to see them get old and sick.) I really do believe that our pets will meet up with us again. How can they not? A love like that is too big to let go forever.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Benno is a dear and I applaud you for your vigilence.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm praying for cooler weather and no thunderstorms for Benno, too. Peace, tranquility and many more walks on which his company inspires the cosy greeting instead of wariness and anxiety.

    This was a lovely post, Friko.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well said for all of us who share our lives now or have shared lives in the past with a beloved dog. And the aging and deterioration of a canine companion is one of those hard things of life. My sympathis to Benno and the humans he loves.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh, Friko, my heart aches for all three of you. We love our rescued dog so much, and we really don't know her true age. I've been through the loss of many pets and it doesn't ever get easy.
    My thoughts are with you, your beloved, and dear Benno.
    K

    ReplyDelete
  28. Bless you little sweetheart, Friko. It seems from all these comments that there are a lot of dog lovers out there. While I do not currently have a dog, I have had many of these lovers in my life and miss them each and everyone. They are the only living things in my life that have given me unconditional love. Such a gift!

    ReplyDelete
  29. friko, I want to send lots of love to Benno, and a bit more love to you.

    Hoping that you've received the email I sent you earlier today. As of now, I don't seem able to connect to my emails.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  30. What a nice tribute to your Benno! A loyal and trusted friend like him makes life more bearable. Your story brings to mind my little Bosco, a Min-Pin who loved taffy. She would get it stuck in her teeth and do the "taffy dance" by jumping around in circles on her hind legs ... hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I add my voice to the many above. It saddens me knowing that others go through what I experienced when I lost my beloved dog over a year ago. I know you will make the most of the time you have left with Benno - for him and for you.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poor old Benno. I know how it is for you ...

    Your photos in the previous post are gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Dear Friko, it doesn't sound good. Those signs...failing legs, collapse...are all too familiar. This is that time of a dog's life when I wonder why I keep having them. They always grow up and old too fast. And you're right. Half is very important to a dog's life. When we went away and left Georgia at the kennels for almost 6 weeks, I calculated (based on a big dog's life) that it would be like my family leaving me for almost a year (without me knowing why).

    But as long as Benno is eating and wagging his tail, you know he's still happy to be here with you. BIG HUGS to you both. I hope you get some nice cool weather and good weekend walks x

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a wonderful post. It is simply heartbreaking that our four-legged companions don't live any longer than they do. It's something we all go through. I am so glad you have each other and will hope Benno will be all right for a while longer. Big dogs don't last as long as little ones, which is why my sister always goes with the little guys. Hugs to you, Friko.

    ReplyDelete
  35. What a touching post about your pet. It is so difficult to see our pets get old – we wish we could keep time to stand still for their sakes. I’d love to have a dog but with all our trips, it would not be fair. I hope Benno can keep going for a while longer. I know how it feels to see a pet suffer – it is hard.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Dear Benno! It's so good that dogs can live completely in the present without worries. My Golden Breezy lived to be 12 1/2. After 7 years, my husband and I still miss her.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh sweet Benno. Dogs do not live nearly as long as I wish they would. So you have to cherish every fragile day. What a lucky boy is Benno.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Never an easy time for our companions of many years...and never an easy time for us. Your Benno knows he is loved and trusts in your care. He is blessed to be with you and to know such a loving home.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh I so wish Benno the best. He looks like such a sweetheart. He and my dog sound so similar--fear of thunder and those bad arthritic hips. He can't go down our back stairs anymore, and often falls going up
    :( He also has only one eye. He lost the other to cancer last year. But at this age, it IS all about the appetite. This is key for these old guys...as long as they eat they are fine. May you and Benno have cool, quiet breezes blowing your way!! PS My old guy is 14+ - he is a lab/shepherd/doberman mix.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Now I'm thinking i should trade the spouse in for a good dog!

    ReplyDelete
  41. What a beautiful post, Friko. Your post touched my heart even though I am not particularly fond of animals and have no pets of my own. But I have friends who are deeply bonded to their dogs and I know how much pets can mean. I wish Benno and the two of you a moderate summer, not too hot, with no thunderstorms, but many sunny days of joy.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Our old springer/collie cross was terrified of thunder. We all used to huddle together in the way that you describe. Wishing Benno a comfortable summer.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poor Benno.
    I have to say that your final line about the two elderly humans did make me chuckle!

    ReplyDelete
  44. That, at the end there.... Well, that's just the way it should be, after all.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Well said, Friko. The Latin name for a dog relates to the dog's fidelity. My own doggy, I know, is prolonging my life. Somewhere, inside her, she knows the prolongation is to the benefit of both of us.

    ReplyDelete
  46. What a beautiful tribute to your dog and dogs in general. I, too, felt the same way about Lani, my Lab in New York. I miss her to this day.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Dear Friko - I think I might add this link in to my Dog post - as you've certainly added the human element here .... so well worded - I too wish for you all to have cooler weather - almost certainly - but thunderstorms and fireworks - I cannot vouch for .. Enjoy the weekend though .. cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
  48. Take good care of your old friend.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Well said. I am offering this link as regards Beeno's thunder phobia, I find her blog a fascinating read and a client of mine found help in reading this post when it first came out: http://frikosmusings.blogspot.com/2012/05/mans-best-friend.html I cherish the comment thread there as I do here. Wishing you all plenty of shared good times ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  50. This is the link I wish to share, sorry for the mistake above: http://www.theotherendoftheleash.com/thunder-phobia-in-dogs

    ReplyDelete
  51. Oh, dear Friko, I hope the weather breaks and Benno is able to feel a bit better. Having recently said goodbye to dear Gypsy, I know only too well the bond of love between animals (not just dogs!) and the people who love them, and when they hurt or leave, it is heartbreaking. I'm grateful Benno has a good family who will do their best for him, and I will think wonderful thoughts for him and his comfort. Oh, that they could all live forever!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Truly, lovely and touching. The last image left me smiling. What a lucky dog to be so loved.

    ReplyDelete
  53. "best friend, a buddy for as long as the animal lives and a great sorrow when that life comes to its end."

    How lucky he - and we- are, to know your care! Once again you've touched my heart in a universal, yet deeply personal post. Thank you


    Enjoy your weekend!
    Aloha from Waikiki
    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >

    ReplyDelete
  54. I am wandering around through all the Blogs. Today is my first day as a member of Blog-Train. I read with interest your words about Benno. I am a "Dog Guy".

    Last month I lost one of my German Shepherd Dogs to old age and medical problems. My "Fellow" was 12 years and two months when he passed away. I read your words and can see him as he struggled through those last weeks of life.

    It does not get easier as a human gets older to deal with the emotion surrounding the impending loss or loss of so close a friend and companion. I have been doing it for well over 65 years. I have spent my life working with dogs as a K-9 Police Unit Administrator, Supervisor, Trainer, and Handler.

    Treat Benno with extra love during this time of his life. I have laid on the floor with many of my pups in the evening watching TV. Just to give them the comfort of being close. Every day was a walk, ride in my truck, and a little "play time". Only as much as the "Old Fellow" could handle comfortably. When and if he is full of pain it will be time to provide him with the one gift he can have and our human partners can't have.

    Thank you for this wonderful blog entry and all the fine pictures you have available for me to look at.

    My Regards,
    Bill H

    ReplyDelete
  55. Well now, you've made me miss my old dog Chester, gone for 30 years or more now, but still sorely missed. When I was going through my divorce he was my constant companion, even howling when I cried. Hope you and your Benno have time enough left together to satisfy both your souls.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Poor Benno . Getting old is horrible and he must wonder why things have slowly become more difficult and now seem impossible.
    But he's loved and cared for by the two humans he loves and trusts most in the world , so whatever time he has left will be good .

    ReplyDelete
  57. Friko, I understand how you must feel and care for Benno. When an animal is an important part of your life for so many years it hurts to see them uncomfortable and in pain. We feel that way about our cat Alfie, though he is only 6 years old at the moment and in quite good health. Cats can live up to about 20 years. Best wishes for Benno - Dave

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dear Friko, your posting reminded me so vividly of the dog who lived with us when I was a child. Mother names him Kentucky because that was the road we lived on. She was sure we wouldn't remember the name of the road, but we'd remember the dog's name because we loved him. He and my brother were buddies and went everywhere together on the farm and into the woods and by the wide creek where they swam side by side. He was all you've described in this posting. He was, indeed, a family member.
    Thank you for helping me, who grew up and found cats a necessity in my life, to remember this wonderful Kentucky who gave us all--my brother and mother and dad and me--his lifelong loyalty, devotion, and love. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  59. If we all loved as deeply as our dogs do, we'd be finer people. Dogs teach us a lot. I hope you have much more comfy time with your Benno. He's a beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  60. What a dear old dog he looks. No wonder you are so fond of him. I'm glad he enjoys his food and is enthusiastic about life. I guess he will take infirmities in his stride, and will be happy as long as you are there.

    ReplyDelete
  61. What a face! Big dogs carve big spaces in our hearts, don't they!

    Our cocker is almost 16. After years of being so terrified of storms that she had to be tranquilized, our dog's hearing has deteriorated to the point that she can't hear the thunder. Small comfort, I know, but she snoozes peacefully beside me right now even as the thunder rumbles outside.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Truly they are our best friends. Benno is such a beautiful boy. Enjoy all the time you have with him.

    ReplyDelete
  63. The decline of a dearly beloved dog such as Benno comes way too quickly. I wish labs and retrievers had longer lives. They just don't seem to last beyond 12 or 13 years. Your Benno is just a wonderful companion to you. It breaks my heart to think of him aging and becoming more and more unable to do the things he loved to do such as jumping and running while he explores the countryside with you.

    You have paid a wonderful tribute to him, and to all such wonderful animals who become our companions. True, they never leave us, they are not demanding, they are always loyal, they do not neglect us as adult children seem to do. The stick to our sides and look after us when we have to give them so little in return. Benno truly is a beautiful boy.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Such a touching post. It does seem true that our animals find ways to let us know what they need. We have so many distractions and entertainments, so many obligations, but we are central to their world. As they age, they need our companionship as much as we need theirs. I suspect Benno knows your steadfastness.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.