Sunday, 20 November 2011

Sleeping Beauty


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Once upon a time, in a far distant kingdom, there lived a beautiful princess. Beautiful princesses live in castles, and Dornröschen,  for that was her name, was no exception. Life was good, Dornröschen was not only very pretty, but also a good girl. As in so many far distant lands of the time, a very wicked witch also lived in the kingdom. It is well known that witches were usually extremely envious of pretty young maidens, who also happen to be princesses, and this one ran true to form. She cast a spell on Dornröschen, which made the girl fall into a deep sleep destined to last for a hundred years. Just so that nobody would notice her evil deed - although quite what she hoped to achieve by turning Dornröschen into a sleeping beauty, is anyone's guess - she caused the thick thorn bushes around the castle to grow to enormous heights, much like my hedges, when they haven't been cut for a year.

Time passed, the thorn bushes gradually encroached on the lawns and pleasure gardens, until the long tendrils had almost swallowed up the castle itself. Dornröschen slept the sleep of the just, on and on, blissfully unaware of the world around her. Nobody had set the alarm, lucky girl.

And then, one day, out of the blue, a young man happened upon the thicket of thorn bushes. It was summer and the bushes were covered in the sweetest smelling blossom. He decided to investigate. He was a prince, not only handsome but also courageous - they always were, calling a prince cowardly just wouldn't do, would it ? -  so he hacked his way deeper and deeper into the thicket until he came upon the enchanted castle. He made his way inside and found the princess' bedchamber. She had slept so deeply and peacefully, that she had hardly rumpled the sheets, after all this time they still showed the marks where they had been folded after ironing. I wish somebody would do that for my bedlinen.

Dornröschen looked so very pretty and inviting, that the prince just couldn't help himself, he kissed her. He was, of course, meant to do just that, that's how you wake a princess.

Dornröschen stretched and yawned and stretched again. She opened her eyes.

"Hallo there, you've awakened me, who are you?  And how did you get in here?"

"I am the handsome prince, come to rescue you from the spell of the wicked witch." He must have had a sudden flash of inspiration, or perhaps he remembered a tale which his old nurse used to tell him; anyway he got it right. (If you, dear reader, are not satisfied with this explanation, you may make up your own.)

"Oh, thank you, thank you so much," Dornröschen cried. She vaguely remembered seeing the witch approach her with a malicious glint in her eye and cackling something unintelligible - we know it must have been the spell - . She remembered nothing after that.

The prince lay down on the bed but, as he had been brought up properly, he tenderly held her head in his hands and kissed her sweet lips. He remembered again the story his old nurse had told him and knew what would happen next. "We shall be married," he said, "we shall be prince and princess together and live happily ever after."

The princess quite fancied him and had no objections to the plan. But one thing bothered her, would he turn out to be a fortune hunter? In spite of her innocence she had seen the way of the world before she fell asleep. Her father - where had He been all this time? - had often enough warned her.

"Before we go any further", she said, " how about getting the lawyers to draw up a pre-nuptial agreement?"

34 comments:

  1. I always enjoy your tales Friko, and this one is another goodie.

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  2. ha yes the ways of the world are rampant it seems...even invading our fairy tales...lol

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  3. Your humor added to a traditional-type story was great adult fun. Will there be a followup that will shed light on why her father never noticed she was taking an extremely long nap!

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  4. HAH!
    I love it.
    (Especially the fold-mark part.)

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  5. Oh, it is going to be hard to be internet-free for several days. I laughed out loud at your asides, like this, "I wish somebody would do that for my bedlinen." (Which has reminded me, we have sheets in the wash which we've quite forgot; if we do this once they go into the dryer, one of our guests will be lying on a sea of wrinkles!)

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  6. Another wonderful tale, Friko...

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  7. Good for you, Princess Dornroschen. Mustn't jump into things just like that.

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  8. A very wise man her father :-).

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  9. ah! the times we live in.
    Alas?


    Aloha from Honolulu

    Comfort Spiral

    > < } } ( ° >

    ><}}(°>

    < ° ) } } > <

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  10. Ah, the sting in the fairytale. very good.

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  11. The princess has her head screwed on - in this day and age that's a must!!

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  12. LOVED it. Thank you so much for this beautiful little, contemporary fairy tale. :)

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  13. Giggles for me this morning!! Thanks! ;)

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  14. Dear Friko.
    This is a fine example of taking a fairy tale and turning it on its head! You lead us through the thicket of the tale and then with a sudden twist you change the whole scenario for us. What a delight retelling!

    And I wonder if that photograph is of Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. The two fairytale characters certainly look like them in their younger years.

    Peace.

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  15. You reign over the twisted fairy tales. Nobody spins them as royally as you.

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  16. I wondered what the twist would be - very nice - and just the sort of thing a modern princess would do.

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  17. A very necessary agreement if you become involved with a total stranger, especially the tall dark and handsome kind who wander in through your hedges.

    Nice spin on an old tale Friko. Dianne

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  18. Love the authorial intrusions, and the modern twist at the end.

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  19. Methinks she is a wise princess. Fun writing and a great punch line. :) !!

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  20. Magpie is an interesting site. Thanks for the tip. Enjoyed the tale.

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  21. Friko-- truly wonderful. Saw your comment on the Goldilocks piece and cracked up~ xxxj

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  22. heehee

    Such a funny fracture in this little-known fairy tale.

    =)

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  23. Always a wise idea when one owns a castle and is stalked by a witch. :)
    Nice tale!

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  24. Sensible girl! Her mother must have taught her well, even if they were surprisingly neglectful parents ...

    nice light style Friko

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  25. A fine retelling of an old story, with the Friko sardonic humour peeping out everywhere. Where you invite us to make up our own explanation . . for a horrid minute I thought you were going to have the Handsome Prince turn into a frog.

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  26. Dear Friko: You definitely made us "wait for it" and gave it to us good! Thanks!

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  27. LOL! Yes, this fairy tale has been definitely updated to 21st style!

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  28. lol.....My kinda Princess.....a beautiful gown on and a pen in her hand!

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  29. Oh, dear, is romance really dead? :)

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  30. I absolutely LOVE the stories you tell, Friko!

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