The Red Umbrella - Christopher Shay
Him, at home, looking out of the window:
Didn't she say she'd be on the later train because she was going to have her hair done after work ?
Oh no, it's raining hard. She won't like that.
I know what I'll do. I'll see if I can get to the station in time to get her brolly to her.
I'll take the bike, that's quicker.
Him, at the station, looking round:
No sign of her. No sign of anybody. The train must be late.
Passenger, hurrying, coming up from the platform:
You missed the train, mate, it's been and gone.
Him, on the platform, standing in the rain, wondering what to do:
Where can she be? Perhaps she waited for the next train?
I'll hang about a bit, see if she's on that one.
Her, at home, sitting over a cup of tea, as he walks in:
Where have you been? You are wet through. What was so urgent that it couldn't wait until after the rain? I've been back ages. When I came out of the hairdresser's and saw how hard it poured, I took a cab. Didn't fancy getting soaked.
55 comments:
Ain't it the truth! Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
...and so it is that some of us love the life of solitude.
My favorite kind of story...the ones with the twist at the end.
One thing I really enjoy about reading your writing is your word choices. I hear the non-American accent just in the choice of language. I don't hear "fancy" used much here, but my English mother used it a lot.
enjoyed the journey your words take us.
well penned magpie.
live and fun magpie.
hope that she is found.
Ah, yes: no good deed goes unpunished!
oy...i am glad he was thinking of her...if i had a dime for everytime...smiles....fun little jaunt friko...
too many times I've done the right thing and it turned out wrong.
Thats what makes marriage interesting.
rel
Unexpected sweetness.
A kind gesture .... but neither had a mobile phone ?
Friko, it has been a long time since I was part of a couple, but this tale definitely touched a memory or three.
xo
There is an old saying: "When one
uses initiative, they often are not
thanked, but almost always spanked."
Another clever tale from you, dear one.
As a husband I resemble these remarks.
Such is life in wedded bliss...
awesome !
S&S's comment makes me laugh - some of us don't have mobile phones.
Now I'm imagining their conversation as he strips off his wet jacket and joins her for tea....
Love it! And that's the way it is! Great story.
Love the sentimental gesture, especially that he takes the bike...
our bikes do not have cover from the rain, so I enjoyed the humor of it all.
BlessYourHeartFriko
What a Talent you are
LOL! And I think it is good you stopped at that point, because I think the conversation after that point might be better unreported!!
Oh, this is so good! Don't we all do this sort of thing for and to each other? I love it!
touched my heart!
Aloha from Waikiki;
Comfort Spiral
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I loved Glenn's comment. Really, isn't that the truth!
And life's like that! LOL
Brilliant, Friko, I love it.
— K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
ja, eigenartig, wie das so ist, wenn man lange verheiratet ist. Ich selbst könnte mir ein solches Leben, wo die Dinge einen flachen Punkt erreichen, wenn ich das so ausdrücken darf, gar nicht vorstellen... mmh, wie immer sehr interessant hier!
Dir einen schönen Herbsttag :-)!
Renée
How often love gets left out in the rain, eh? :)
Ah, the storms of married life! (Funny that your Magpie came during anniversary week for my husband and me.)
So there you have it, Friko, a perfect example of married life, an institution grounded in a commitment to mutual support, but one in which the participants are often at cross purposes, like ships passing in the night.
Love it!! so much so that i've sent you an award.. go get it off my blog xxx
#1Nana noted the "English" word "fancy." I picked up on "brolly."
Not being married, these vignettes of wedded concern for one another don't happen to me. For me, this is a story of friendship.
We worry about the other, only to find that all is well and that there's nothing to worry about--the other is able to take care of herself or himself.
But we want to be there just in case. Always, just in case.
Friko, I was glued to your words from the beginning to the end. I was glad for his kind heart in the process and was pleased with the ending with twist. I had that feeling toward my children even when knowing they can take care of themselves. Have a happy week.
Yoko
Hehe Brilliant! :)
ah...a dear one Friko
Gallantry unrewarded.
Ain't that the way!
Life is like that!!!
Musta been before cell phones . . .
Now when we're going to pick someone up at the airport, I remember how it was before them, and I cringe over the hassles.
Oh I love that. It just feels like love to me.
Sooo priceless and real for so many of us :)
But the new tech has been changing that. More and more I see couples miles apart yet so connected. Just hope they have moments like this because they are so precious.
Wonderfully shared... can't tell you how many times I did things like that for my mom or friends.
Thought a quick little jaunt would help, then ended up worse for the worn effort than the one I went to help. smiles.
Good twist - a surprise to be sure - I rather suspected...oh, well... :)
Will it be worth him telling her what really happened? Will he win one, one day!
Very concisely told.
Aww I hope she poured a cup for him. Well done.
The best laid plans . . .
Are you familiar with the writer O. Henry? Well, you wrote an O Henry story, and a good one.
Ahhhh. Sweet.....! Bless him!
The smallest things can bring the weight of disapproval. ~Mary
He may have failed in his umbrella mission, but he'll nonetheless get points for trying!
Bless his cotton socks considering his beloved like that!
Anna :o]
Quick, insightful, easy to read and brings a ready smile at the end. In other words - excellent. Thank you.
Ha! He was thoughtful in vain. Poor guy!
How well you understand how little the reader needs in the way of "explanation" First rate writing.
Your story reminds me a little of the writing of one of our American authors, O. Henry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O._Henry
His stories, some more amusing than others, always had a little twist at the end--characters often passing in the night, like ships ;) I enjoyed reading yours!!
An excellent tale. Thank you.
Dear Friko: Thoroughly enjoyed the naturalism in the dialogue and the word brolly. Always a new one on me!
This sounds familiar . . .
Oh, how clever, and how true! Hope there was a bit of tea left for him...
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