Friday 1 April 2011

"Blogging Is Dust"

"it's a waste of time, an exercise in futility, indulged in when the blogger hasn't anything better to do".

Or so my creative writing teacher says. We are not friends.

If anyone could do with this wonderfully stimulating community of friends, she could. Living in 'Long-Suffering-in-the-Mud", a hamlet of a dozen farm cottages and one large farm, with neither pub nor shop,  housebound with three small children, with a neighbour in the immediately attached cottage who makes it her business to measure, to the inch, where cars visiting the teacher's cottage park - on an otherwise completely empty and car-free muddy country lane - you'd think she'd greet the benefits of modern communication with a grateful tear in her eye.

Not so. I made the mistake of telling her that I blog and called the wrath of the scorned woman down upon my innocent head. Teacher sees herself as a bit of a poet. Not just a bit, but a published poet, with no less than three publishing contracts. All I needed to do was to check out Amazon or Virago, she said, and I'd find her. I checked, no teacher. That may be entirely due to my lack of tracking expertise; when I asked for enlightenment in the form of an url, I got no reply.

Teacher has, in the past, had a blog herself. She tried it for a while and found that she did little else but bitch and moan, she said. She found that friends who had blogs used them to fill in the gaps between 'proper' writing jobs. (Personally, I think trying to keep a blog going with interesting posts, is no mean feat. I should know.)  She also found that criticism was unwanted, that blogging is primarily for 'stroking' egos.  I concede, she may have a point there, but nobody forces anyone to pour lavish praise on blogs they don't really value. Actually, that would indeed be a silly waste of time and pretty pointless.

When I tried to defend writing a blog, mentioning some of the interesting people I have 'met' this way, she threw them straight back at me: "what are you doing here then, if you have access to and communicate with people whose writing you value so highly?" she asked, thereby making it personal.

Now I have to tell you, what "Here" in this context means: 'Here' is a kitchen in this small cottage in Long-Suffering-In-The-Mud, a kitchen table big enough for four students - three ladies well into middle-age and an elderly gent, who is also teacher's father - and a cat walking all over the table. This being rural England, you have to have a tea break in the two-hour session; tea breaks and gossip go together, so, taking into consideration a delayed start due to teacher having to finish her make-up, finish kneading bread rolls for dad or finishing off a conversation with a friend, who is not a member of the class, 'Here' means a very unprofessional total of max. one hour twenty minutes concentrated work.

I could forgive all that quite easily, we are in the sticks here with few options open; perhaps she was a professional who has fallen on hard times and is trying to make ends meet.  But this was not the only occasion I felt attacked personally - not my work, me - and I had already begun to feel uncomfortable on previous occasions. She was so vehement about blogging being 'dust' that she managed not only to knock my confidence but also make me question the pleasure I get from blogging.

For the past two weeks I have spent far less time online than I usually do, have not visited as many blogs and posted fewer posts than before. You may not believe this, but Friko's confidence is a very delicate plant, easily damaged and it has taken me some time to prop it up again.

I have decided to keep on blogging for as long as I enjoy it and give up this particular class instead. The Easter holidays are about to start and I shan't go back for the new term.

50 comments:

  1. I think you are wise to give up on this teacher - she's far too damaging. I've met people like her, sometimes the parents of children I've taught - nothing pleases them, they could do it all so much better with one hand tied behind their backs, they know only how to criticise, never how to encourage. It doesn't matter how many others appreciate one's efforts, the sour people leave their indelible and ineradicable marks.

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  2. Writers who force their own insecurities upon others will find themselves lonely indeed. She is entitled to her opinion, but shouldn't project her failed experience on you.

    Keep up the good work, Friko; I always look forward to your observations because you know how to write, and you know your own mind.

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  3. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice. I thoroughly enjoy your 'dusty' writing and the stories you tell.

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  4. I was relieved when I read your last paragraph, Friko. Don't let the begrudgers win! I can't imagine that you could learn anything about creative writing from such a disgruntled person. Likely she realizes that YOU should be teaching the class!

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  5. Was growing very concerned as to where your post was headed - you would be greatly missed! But I should have known better - you are too wise & gifted to let an individual such as this teacher keep you from doing what you do so well.

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  6. Sounds like she has so many problems, she is building up her own ego. You are better off away from all that.

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  7. Not one class that I've ever taken has ever cultivated my confidence, soul, self esteem, writing craft and personal mythology as blogging has. I think this teacher is out of touch. This is an argument my poetry mentor used to make. But she left off this line of thinking a while ago, thankfully.

    I do covet a more critical approach to our blog interactions though. I do not wish for only praise. I don't know quite how to start that ball rolling, but if you're up for it (I think you are) maybe we should start a conversation in blog posts. Well, you already have, haven't you?

    I find you refreshing. And yes, I'm surprised that you are like me, a delicate plant.

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  8. fooey on her...poets can be such stuffy bodies you know...smiles.

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  9. Her character is what drew a less than rewarding blogging experience to her. You can be sure that's not the only dusty aspect of her life. I'm glad you listened to your own heart, and didn't allow her to crush it.

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  10. She sounds sour and humourless, an unlovely combination .You can't really teach if you can't recognise and acknowledge talent in your pupils and delight in it . After all , she's supposed to be inspiring you all , I thought , not doing you down .
    Mind you , her life sounds a little bare at the moment ... Whereas yours sounds fine . And you write about it beautifully !!

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  11. I was horrified to hear of your experiences with this particular teacher. Has she ever read your blog? I know you are not asking for praise but it comes from me anyway, and I love the way you write, make me laugh and make me think. Thank goodness you are going to keep on blogging. I note the "for now" and I hope that you are reassured by all the comments. Blogging is a way of being part of a community and it is also being a part of the way the internet is changing the world. You've only to think of what is happening in the Middle East to realise that.

    Please keep going, keep having fun, keep being a presence. Every Blessing

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  12. so glad you're abandoning that class. a case of 'them as can, do; them as can't, teach'. or not, in her case.

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  13. "Personally, I think trying to keep a blog going with interesting posts, is no mean feat. I should know."

    Glad you fled that idiot!

    Aloha from Waikiki


    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>


    ><}}(°>

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  14. Well, if this poor woman can't relate to people, face to face, blogging would prove to be a rather disappointing experience, too. I know that some writers are dismissive of blogging, but there are also many well established, published authors who blog regularly.

    Some of the writing I have had the pleasure to read on various blogs, could be described as no less than exquisite, and updates on life in the Marches is a 'must'. Ditch the course, and do your own thing, Friko. You do it so well.

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  15. Oh, I was afraid that you were leading up to telling us that you were stopping your blog. I'm glad you made the alternate decision. She sounds like a most unhappy woman.

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  16. Friko - everything I was going to say has already been said; I do so enjoy your posts and am delighted that you have decided to stay with us!

    I agree that is alot of ego massaging that goes on here and if I don't enjoy the posts I don't comment - I have one follower who always lets me know in no uncertain what he thinks about my posts; I love hearing from him and always feel a little disappointed if he doesn't comment.

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  17. Boy did you strike a nerve! All the comments are evidence. I used to be a teacher and way back when we even encouraged students to read comic books if that is the only way they would read. Decades later these have morphed into "graphic novels" and work to encourage reading. Blogging is NOT comics next to novels. Blogging is absolutely anything and everything. Does she realize some people make their money blogging? I am sure if people ask for criticism, they can get it! They just need to be able to handle it. I agree that this teacher is not someone who should teach writing. Even if she is good at it...she is not good at teaching.

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  18. I forgot to add that you are most discerning and sharp in evaluating the whole situation for someone who has their confidence shaken. Good for you.

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  19. I'm really quite surprised that she is not on virago, which, where I am means, "a noisy, domineering woman."

    ...her and the white horse she rode in on. ...through the mud. We love you, and read you, and enjoy you.

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  20. Sorry, I just HAD to come back. I wanted to tell you that one of the reasons I continued to read your blog was because I liked your ability to write well...both fiction and expository and was certain I could learn from it.

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  21. Absolutely. I for one love your blogs, meeting you and your friendship Friko. I think teacher is the one with the problem!

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  22. Friko: In my short time of existing in the wonderful world of bloggers (outside of my initial chosen realm)- you are my greatest inspiration!

    You inspire me with confidence and I am grateful for that.

    Please do not doubt yourself - I think that is your creative writer teachers problem - she doubts herself!

    She needs you - and you not her!

    The kindest of regards.

    Anna :o]

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  23. The only Latin phrase I ever learned was "res ipsa loquitur." I find it comes in very handy. Here, for sure, "the thing speaks for itself." Many good insights in the comments, too--I must underscore one, at least: "Her character is what drew a less than rewarding blogging experience to her." Oh, yes indeed.

    Welcome back, dear blogging friend!

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  24. friko what a fascinating post. on many levels. it intrigues me that you've given the power of authority to someone else and i wonder if you have considered that on some levels that may be well-placed. if she has a sense of discipline connected to writing then in my view that's worthy of association. on the other hand i think that there's something suspect about dismissing any form of writing that calls you or to which you make yourself available. blogging is very much a writing form of the moment. it is very unusual for blog readers to re-read an entry. however, like an extraordinary moment in dance, an incredible vintage of beaujolais, a moment of any sort, it sustains a qualitative experience for a relatively short while and then is passed and really, it is made more resonant and remarkable for its very fleeting nature. finally, a teacher (in the spiritual use of the term) doesn't prescribe or truncate. they facillitate and offer reflective support that allows for the student to continue along their path. lots to think about friko. thanks for your brave post. steven

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  25. Kerry said it: she's trying to impose her own insecurities on you. You're sensitive, but you didn't fall for it - doubly good for you.

    Very aware of that 'ego-stroking' phenomenon, I sometimes temper my enthusiasm over a post. But I think Friko's World is a model blog.

    I've also questioned my motives and eased up on blogging. But I agree that as long as there's joy in it that's all the reason necessary to go on.

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  26. Well, I wish to echo what has been said above.
    Why do we do anything in life?
    To make a difference?
    To minister?
    To facilitate, initiate, provoke?
    To touch.. be in community with?

    you have achieved this and then some.

    I think this encounter , while troubling, will serve to strengthen your confidence. I believe it was no accident that this situation came at this time.

    Your presence is of great value. I treasure your thoughts.

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  27. I also treasure your blogging presence. It seems you have received the support you deserve through all these comments! I am glad to be part of your community, Friko!

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  28. A number of years ago I arranged for a fellow to present a program to an organization I belonged to. It was a small group and I felt I needed to let him know I could not guarantee him a large audience, as our numbers seemed to be dwindling, but I wanted those who did come to hear his message. He told me not to worry, that he gave the same talk whether there were 5 people or 50 people.

    A few weeks ago a local author announced that she was now going to begin blogging; she said she had always written words for money and she felt strange about now giving them away free, but that she felt other bloggers were having so much fun that she must be missing out on something.

    Friko, when I read your blog I thought of these two recent incidents and I think they really do relate to what you’ve experienced. There are two groups of people who benefit from reading the written word: the readers and the authors. I blog not particularly because I want people to “read me” – I blog because I have things I want to say, or to figure out, or to share – sometimes to others and sometimes to myself! I find it is easier to put it on the screen than to keep it in a notebook. Blogging makes me happy. It doesn’t matter if I have 5 followers or 50 followers. I write the same blog. Sending those words out in a book or a newspaper as “real writing” is not the issue here. Blogging makes me friends. There are thousands of bloggers out there, but those I read on a regular basis, and I count you among them, are those whose words have touched my life with joy, sadness, compassion, hilarity and beauty.

    Your teacher has simply missed the mark on this one.

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  29. Friko, I've seen art teachers like that, too. They insist that you do things their way, and act like anything other is wrong. Art of any kind is self expression, thus no two are ever alike, and thank goodness for that!

    I agree that people like that are acting out of their own insecurities. They keep others down so it LOOKS like they are better. Don't let her slow you down, Friko. I would leave the class, perhaps look for another, but keep blogging. Of course, I'm not an expert, but I've seen some terrific writing in Bloggerville, and yours is among those good ones!

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  30. Life's too short, Friko, to let a a sourpuss spoil the pleasure you get and the pleasure we take from your writing. I don't find anything constructive or helpful in any of her comments. Good riddance to her.

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  31. Very interesting, Friko. Blogging may be dust, in a way, but there are certainly grains of gold dust and angel dust among the common-or-garden.

    I think Ruth has a point. There is room sometimes for more constructive and honest criticism within the blogosphere. It's natural that we often hold back from this because of causing misunderstanding and offence - which is more easily done when you've only got one method of communication - the word - rather than an extra ones like facial expressions, physical gestures etc.

    I am pleased to note your own posts and comments seem more honest than appeasing. Though we all like our egos being stroked, don't we?

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  32. Hey Friko - if we all worried about what others think we would never do anything!! You love blogging and writing and we enjoy reading it so go for it girl!!!

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  33. Good CHOICE. The choice to surround yourself with positive people (on blogs) will brighten your day while the teacher will knock you down. There are so many positive bloggers who will put a smile on your face. Enjoy them.

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  34. Friko, is there room here for another comment? Well, of course, there is. That's part of what is good about the world of blogging.

    Your teachers sounds very mean. I do hope that she have been of some sort of help to her students, but surely there are other folks who would be more helpful.
    I still recall the outstanding teachers whom I encountered all through my life. What makes them stand out is that somehow we clicked, and that each of these teachers had some sort of generosity. My fourth grade teach allowed me to skip through every book in that school's library, helping to feed my appetite for words. My first French teacher allowed every student a joyous entry into a language she loved. And so on. xo

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  35. Oh Friko, I would be so sad if you did not blog. Please don't stop because that 'teacher' is so ignorant. I have had three professors tell me I had to blog (on their blog sites) as part of my coursework in history.

    Furthermore, she is behind the times. I think those who do not blog (or comment) are simply scared. As Ronnie Bennet said, "Get Blogging"

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  36. I'm back again. I was just listening to a man talking about painting. He said that in expressing ourselves, my must never quit growing or begin thinking ourselves "masters." As teachers when we find students getting tired of what they are being taught and drifting away, as an artist we have reached a plateau. If we do not challenge ourselves to learn something new to teach them, we have nothing to give; if we teach everything we know, there is nowhere to go from there.

    So I was thinking .... we have to keep evolving in our art, regardless of what kind of art it is, AND (very important) be able to move out of our own comfort zones to continue that growth in others. To paraphrase an old, wise quote, a good teacher is happy when the student exceeds the teacher. Your teacher was not capable of leading students to surpassing her own ability without being threatened.

    I think it is good to have occasional challenges as students in which we stay within specific guidelines because some times that is necessary and it actually helps us to have that discipline. Can you imagine your teacher trying to teach t s eliot to conform to her style? LOL!!

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  37. I read your post and all the comments – and they are good. What scares me the most is that you said this woman has 3 small children. I fear for the innocence of this children with such a negative and mean mother – at least you are an adult and can walk away from her nefarious ways. You have a “voice” in blogland which is your own and enjoyed by all your followers and your voice is not “dust” or even “dusty.” Unfortunately there are many people like this person who project their insecurity and have, really, sadistic tendencies. I rarely criticize bloggers’ writings because, English being the third language I spoke, I feel I am not entitled to criticize - my grammar may not be the best. I may stop reading a blog or read it just once every few months if I don’t like their style of writing.

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  38. Hm. She sounds like an eejit and looking to make a fast buck, too. Leave the class. And keep blogging. Your follower numbers (damn you) tell a story.

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  39. I believe it was Dr. Johnson who said, "When a woman is tired of blogging, she is tired of life."

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  40. There's one in every group, Friko. Did it make you question why you WEre there? She is not going to hang on to her students with that attitude. Negative people sustain themselves by sucking your energy. My advice, stay away. I enjoy your writing and I don't think you need her.
    (Long-Suffering-In-The-Mud gave me a good giggle)

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  41. Dear Friko,
    a very wise decision, indeed, to give up that Lady and keep on blogging! I always ask myself - after a time when someone and I had a chance to get into a relationship: how does a person makes me feel? Your 'Teacher' seems to be an energy-vampyre (read my blog quite in the beginning of Youarewittyandpretty), and after being patient I also am able to make a clear cut. I definitely decline to even visit Long-Suffering-In-The-Mud! Criticism is welcome as long as it shows a perspective to become better - but condemning your blogging (without even having read your blogs, I suspect) is daft.
    Your blogs might be golden dust - blown upon the affairs of Everyday Life - making them a bit more sparkling - and what's wrong with that?

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  42. nun bin ich schon fast betrübt, nicht eher Zeit gehabt zu haben, bei Dir vorbeizuschauen... Dass Du nicht mehr diese Kurse besuchst, ist eine gute Entscheidung!!
    Aber Friko, wie kannst Du Dich nur im Geringsten von dieser Frau irritieren lassen!!
    Die Frau hat Deine Intelligenz gewittert, Dein freies Denken - und Deine Freiheit...!
    Sie ist augenscheinlich frustriert und muss ihr Leben wohl hassen. Ich bin mir auch sicher, dass ihr Blog ein grosser Reinfall war. Wahrscheinlich ist es hauptsächlich kritisiert worden, denn die Reaktion und das Verhalten dieser Frau sind wahrlich unangebracht.
    Ich finde, Du kannst Dich nicht nur über Dein Schreiben glücklich schätzen, sondern auch über die Leute, die hier kommentieren, sind es doch in meinen Augen hauptsächlich sehr intelligente Menschen, die selber ganz fantastisch schreiben. Davon abgesehen besuchen Dich auch ganz junge Leute, dass mehr als nur eine Bestätigung für Dich sein sollte!
    Für mich ist Dein Blog wie das Aufgehen der Sonne und auch habe ich Dir schon mehrmals gesagt: Ich habe grossen Respekt gegenüber Dir!
    Alles Liebe

    Renée

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  43. Friko, I was going to respond yesterday, but, because all I could think of to say was: What a bitch!, I didn't. I figured I could think of something better today but What a bitch! is still all that come to mind when I think of that woman.

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  44. Good heavens! Comments on published writing of any sort are a "stroke to the ego." So what? Good writing is worth reading anywhere. I do hope you keep blogging - your writings are interesting and thoughtfully stated. I like that you blogged about her!

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  45. Für solche "Lehrer" (ich habe sowieso generell keine hohe Meinung von Lehrern) habe ich nur einen Satz übrig: "dreh mich mal runter, dass ich Dich sehen kann."
    Hoffentlich liest die Frau noch Deinen Blog :-).

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  46. I think you have made the right decision to give up on this class and this teacher, and go on blogging and ENJOY every single minute of it. This woman obviously has some serious issues, but you can't allow her to "solve" (haha) them on your back. If this costs your confidence - and believe me, I know only too well the delicacy of confidence - it is a red flag and you should run. Let her drink tea and gossip in Long-Suffering-In-The-Mud whereas you sail on a fabulous and interesting journey around blogland with an open mind (that she most obviously lacks of, and that's part of her problem).

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  47. Love the comments, I aggree with them all. And for the "teachers" comment of not having anything interesting to show but walking your dog... Id take that in a heartbeat. The beautiful area where you live with so much to see and share, and the love of a dog, paths with moss and dragons, what could be better to a city bound dog-less country girl? Its so sad that she doenst appreciate the life she has, beleive me there are plenty of folks who would trade with her. All she taught you was to value yourself and that anyone can tack on a teacher lable and it of itself means nothing.
    I love your blog, its a window to a magic world I'll most likly never see. Thanks for sharing!

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  48. What a poor miserable woman she is! I love your addition to my blog when you visit and enjoy your comments on blogs I follow. You know, I am a mother of six, middle age, have friends, active in community. BUT, with all that, if it wasn't for blogging I would never have pursued poetry or photography like I have. I never evenTRIED poetry until last October I think it was. I have enjoyed and been more creative since taking up blogging. My friends and family may love me, but they don't necessarily share my creative passions. It sounds to me that you should have left her table long before you did and it was your compassionate and forgiving heart that kept you there too long! Sorry for your heart-wrenching experience.

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  49. She (and you) are correct to say that "comment" on blogposted poetry etc is very largely egostoking or "you tell me I'm wonderful and I'll come back and tell you you're wonderful" A great deal of that goes on, and as you say, Friko, worthwhile "critique" hardly ever appears(*) - but even so, your teacher should not be a teacher! She showed quite abominable behaviour, with implications that she tells porkies about her achievments. Ask for references to her publications. Insist on them!

    (*) Unless quoting a line from the poem and saying "WONDERFUL" counts as critique!

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  50. From your class photo it seems we are both from the Pluto in Leo generation where self expression is a necessity and that is how I tend to look at blogging. Considered, caring, honest feedback might be the icing on the cake. My cakes or sweets come rarely with icing. You did a great job at letting this teacher be grist for your mill. It can be all good when we use our experiences for our own inner growth.

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Comments are good, I like to know what you think of my posts. I know you'll keep it civil.