Thursday, 14 October 2010


Willow's Magpie Tale No. 36

Once upon a time,
In the land of wicked witches, pretty maidens, princes 
And credulous peasants,
There stood a tower, impregnable, tall,
With sheer walls.
And one window,
Right at the top, 
Just wide enough
For one skinny witch,
One snake-hipped but well-muscled Prince,
Said pretty maiden,
And said pretty maiden’s very thick, very golden braid.

The wicked witch, having tricked a pair of credulous peasants
Into parting with their infant daughter 
For the sake of a root,
By the name of Rapunzel,
For which credulous peasant wife 
Had developed a craving during pregnancy,
Proceeded to lock infant daughter,
Having become a teenager,
Into said impregnable tower.
Why she would do so, is anyone’s guess.
Mr. Grimm didn’t say.

Teenage daughter became pretty maiden,
(well she would, being locked up)
Much given to singing lustily, 
Standing by the small window.
Mr. Grimm didn’t specify the song,
But it must have been melodious enough
To attract snake-hipped, well-muscled Prince,
Accidentally riding by said impregnable tower.
Hearing the siren song
And falling in love
Was but the work of a moment.

“Lean out of the window, Goldenhair,
I heard you singing a merry air”.

Being a pretty unprincipled maiden, she did.
(Having a man in your bedroom was 
not the done thing in those far-off days)
Mr Grimm omitted to point this out.
Snake-hipped, well-muscled prince 
Climbed the golden rope ladder with ease.
Pretty maiden’s maidenly blushes
Soon faded.
Least said, soonest mended here, I think.
The impregnable tower was impregnable no more.

All Mr. Grimm will say in the matter is that,
After many months of ups and downs,
Pretty maiden’s waistband became tight with happiness.
Snake-hipped Prince realised
That the day had come for a decision.
Overcome the wicked witch,
Rescue pretty maiden,
Or make his adieus,
The course of true love having run its course.
The choice was his.

Prince was not called Prince for nothing,
Rescuing pretty maiden
By means of her own hair,
Which would once again be braided
And hooked up on the window catch,
Was his decision.
No sooner said then done.
Except, when it came to it,
Pretty maiden was no longer able
To slip through the window frame.

She squeezed and wriggled,
She held her breath,
She pulled and pushed.
He pulled and pushed.
She was stuck.
Mr. Grimm had no solution to the problem either.
Still snake-hipped and well-muscled Prince
Sighed deeply,
As he slithered down.

He sighed again.
He sighed for a third time,
As he mounted his trusty steed which had been waiting
Patiently at the foot of the tower.

“You can’t win ‘em all”, he said to the horse.


  1. Rapunzel - the bawdy version! I loved it and thank you.

  2. Oh brilliant Friko - that took the 'happy ever after' away from Mr Grimm!

  3. fanciful fairy tale-reminds me of Rapunzel

  4. haha...a merry air what a fun write...and all (or at least most all) lived happily ever after...smiles.

  5. That is quite a poem, quite a story.

  6. Leaving princess in the tower to raise child -- a la Emma Donoghue's ROOM.

    Oh, nicely done, Friko!

  7. Heehee, Mr. Grimm needs to get with the program. Fun Maggie, Friko!

  8. Fun, sly, solid writing! Some great lines!
    "Pretty maiden’s waistband became tight with happiness."
    "Mr. Grimm didn’t say."
    “You can’t win ‘em all”, he said to the horse.

  9. Hum, not quite how I remembered this tale. :) Enjoyed it! Thank you!

  10. Love the twist that reality puts on an old story.
    Prince did what he could, eh?
    Love the quote from my favorite writer.
    I set that poem to music once.

  11. Friko's Fractured Fairy Tales,
    legends retold, myths debunked;
    my goodness, this is delicious--
    first William Tell and now the
    snake-hipped prince and the
    long haired knocked up princess;
    yes, yes, I like your version of
    things much more than Grimm's.
    Cinderella awaits thy pen, and
    Snow White; can't wait to see
    what you will do with the seven

  12. Interesting that you came from Germany,where there are many castles and towers! Well done but freaky, Friko!

  13. Your take on the tale is much more fun Friko. I hope the golden haired girl knows all about paternity suits and what she can claim for....

  14. Brilliant rendition of this tale - and probably nearer the truth, as regards the path of true love! LOL :)

  15. You definitely bring an interesting version to common fairy tales I have heard so often!!!

  16. You totally took the grim out of Grimm and made it delightful and modern.
    However him riding off leaving her "tight with happiness" was a bit harsh if realistic.
    "More, more Friko version fairy tales", the crowd roared.

  17. What a fun take on an olde fairy tale... brilliantly written as always.

    Love your ending... that was a surprise.

  18. "snake hipped"

    Well said thou respinner of old yarns.

    So much in those 2 words.


  19. Grim Grimm, and it all took place on one of Newschwanstein's towers! :-)

  20. That Rapunzel really did let down her hair. Too funny. I love your sense of humour.

  21. Can you hear that?? That racous laughter all the way from the So. of Fr.?

    Delicious, this was. Well done, you.

  22. There's a series here, surely?

  23. You've made me laugh out loud again Friko! I can see why Mr Grim was so named - well he would be wouldn't he?

  24. can we have some more fairy tales - Frikostyle?

  25. What a vision is that snake hipped Prince, better than the Grimm tale! And how many chances can a maiden get... better cut down on the take-out...

  26. Laughing. So they didn't live happily ever after. Crafty take!

  27. yow! Impatient Prince! Clever story-made me laugh!

  28. I loved it, quite an interesting take...:)
    "Prince was not called Prince for nothing"..Lol!

  29. this made me smile and laugh--great work!

  30. Friko - you are one of the first entries I look for among the 'pies! You never fail to entertain and fun adaptations like this are among the reasons why...!

  31. I liked this tale told in your inimitable way

  32. Soo droll, but... "“You can’t win ‘em all”, he said to the horse."
    And the horse said, 'You bastard! leaving me here all those months with nary a bite to eat! You should be jolly well hung!'
    And the prince just laughed as he whispered, "I am, I am!"

  33. What an imagination you have. Thanks


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